


Cuff Links

by Anotheroliveinthehouse



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bittersweet, College, Comfort, Cute, Family Feels, Family Issues, Fear, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Head Injury, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Injury, Injury Recovery, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Minor Violence, No Smut, Panic Attacks, Romance, Romantic Friendship, Semi-Canon Compliant, Slow Burn, Underage Smoking, University, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, contradiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2020-07-09 00:42:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 80,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19878775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anotheroliveinthehouse/pseuds/Anotheroliveinthehouse
Summary: Kaoru’s feelings towards Kyoya were touch and go. He wanted a relationship but it seemed unattainable for so many reasons. For all he knew the Shadow King was uninterested and was going to be just as cold as he normally was. However, after a rocky coming out to Hikaru, Kaoru needs an ear desperately. Little did he know that the truth always works its way out of the dark.Kyoya knew something was up with the twins. He was curious, yet knew to keep his nose out of it until absolutely necessary. It was only a matter of time before Kyoya would hear of it. After all, Kaoru was full of surprises and Kyoya was along for the ride. Kyoya’s missing cufflinks were one small piece of his and Kaoru’s story and somehow, they remained at the center of it all.Meant to be a collection of short stories focused on small snapshots of the Kyoya/Kaoru pairing, this story became a full-blown, multi-chapter fanfiction without my intention (but enjoy regardless :P). This work also includes some Hikaru/Haruhi and Tamaki/Haruhi elements set in a current time period instead of the early 2000s. More tags to be added and warnings/rating are subject to change.





	1. 1: "Where would you categorize me?"

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on this site and first work written about OHSHC. I'd love feedback and, of course, requests. I hope to post once a week until around late August, and hopefully the fic will be done by then. I have done all the editing myself so there might be a few typos or weird parts.
> 
> Now back to this "family???" *clap* "friendly???" *clap* alternative *clap* content *clap*.
> 
> Side note: I spelled "Kyouya" as "Kyoya" and "Honey" as "Hani."

As the bell tower tolled, the afternoon clubs and activities began their activities at Ouran High. The outdoor sports clubs grouped up in the fields within the large courtyard. You could faintly hear the calls from the players as they began their matches. Other clubs sat in the shaded areas under trees, holding meetings outside for nothing other than the nice weather. It was no longer as sweltering as it had been when school started that year. Autumn had begun to set in with chilly breezes and a sun that dropped lower in the sky. Despite the shortening days, many of the clubs continued to stay outside for hours at a time as being inside all day tended to create a bit of spring fever, or should I say autumn fever? The Host club at Ouran opened for their afternoon activities as well. However, they decided on keeping their guests indoors until they could plan for an outdoor picnic.

  
As the sky darkened, the sun sank low enough to send streams of light into Music Room #3 while the hosts said goodbye to their last few guests. There was still a meeting to sit through and arrangements to be made for the upcoming event. Of course, Tamaki had plenty of extravagant ideas that left Kyoya’s eye twitching when he typed out an outline on his laptop.

  
“Gentlemen, our top priority is historical accuracy. The Renaissance was a period of scientific innovation, the rebirth of classical Greek philosophy and, of course, the creation of new styles and themes in the arts! Our event will be fun and educational as each host club member takes the guests through different parts of Europe!” Tamaki stood in his normal over the top fashion and began pointing out different members of the club. “Kyoya will start us off in Italy. Next, Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai will take Germany and Hungary. I’ll take France and the twins can take Spain and Portugal. Renge said she’d help us out by taking England. And last, but not least, Haruhi can take her pick of Russia or the Northern European Renaissance!”

  
Haruhi put on a sarcastic grin and muttered, “Wow, I get to choose?”

  
Tamaki only smiled bigger, “Of course, you can! I can tell you that Russia has quite a bit of information despite being so far away from the epicenter of the movement.”

  
Kyoya then interjected, “Make sure you study and provide factual information. We’ll be closing the club early next Monday to work on posters. Hikaru and Kaoru will be providing devices for everyone courtesy of their father. You’ll be designing your infographics on them.”

  
“I guess I’ll take Russia, then.” Haruhi sighed while beginning to pack her things. “And don’t tell me we’re dressing up.”

  
“Oh, don’t be that way, Haruhi.” Kaoru whined and Hikaru tagged on finishing with, “It wouldn’t be the host club without costumes and dressing up.”

  
“I suppose not.” She replied. “I have to go. My dad wants to have a father-daughter dinner.”

  
Hani skipped off the love seat that he and Mori were sitting on, “What’s the occasion, Haru-chan?”

  
Haruhi’s gaze softened with a warm smile, “It’s Mom’s birthday today.”

  
The room was quiet for a few beats. The silence wasn’t strained or awkward, just an acknowledgement of a thoughtful moment.

  
“Well, I hope you and your dad have a great time!” Hani gave Haruhi a side hug before skipping towards the side room. “Come on, Takashi! It’s time for a bit of cake!”

  
Mori grunted in agreement and gave Haruhi a pat on the head. He drifted towards where Hani stood waiting. They both went through together leaving the door cracked.

  
“Good luck on the planning,” Haruhi said once everything of hers was ready to go, “If anything new comes up just text me.”

  
“Of course.” Kyoya affirmed continuously typing.

  
Haruhi left quietly, the sound of the door signalling that she had gone.

  
The room lapsed into a less energetic atmosphere as Tamaki didn’t move immediately to do or say anything. He sat in his chair, head on his fist, legs crossed, and a face that gave away his pensive mood. Kyoya, of course, didn’t do more than he had to and was currently working on something. The twins surprisingly didn’t leave after Haruhi did. They had begun to make a habit of it as most of the fun revolved around the reaction Tamaki would have to Haruhi. And as per usual, now that she had left, Tamaki was much more withdrawn. It obviously was brought to the attention of the twins who had agreed that when Haruhi left, it was like she took Tamaki’s cheerfulness with her.

  
The twins, though, stayed put and seemed to be in mid-argument. They had made themselves comfortable on the wide window sill when the short meeting had started. They kept their place but instead of facing the room, they were leaning casually against the wall and facing each other. They spoke in hushed tones, just loud enough to hear each other speak, but everyone else in the room couldn’t hear. In fact, Kyoya, the one closest to them, could only hear Hikaru’s harsher syllables spoken with emotion.

  
Kyoya had really wanted to know what Kaoru was saying, but he was facing away from Kyoya with his head leaning against the glass. Kyoya could probably read Hikaru’s lips since Hikaru was facing him. However, despite his curiosity, he decided to give them privacy.

  
Tearing his attention away from the twins, he focused on Hani and Mori’s return with a cake in hand. Hani sat the cake down while Mori set the table. With a wink, Hani slid a small portion of chocolate mousse with flakes of dark chocolate on top in front of Kyoya. Deciding a short break wouldn’t be remiss, Kyoya shut his laptop and got a small spoon from Mori.

  
“Kyoya?” Tamaki began. He shuffled from his chair to the table, pulling the table chair next to Kyoya out.

  
“Yes, Tamaki?” Kyoya answered while taking a bite of mousse. He savored its richness as he listened to Tamaki’s ramblings.

“Do you think Haruhi is mad at me? I mean, she didn’t act really that different today as she normally does, but I feel like she’s mad at me.” Tamaki whimpered while holding his head in his hands.

Kyoya let out a sigh. As he spoke, he watched Mori put the decorative strawberries from his piece of cake onto Hani’s plate, “I believe she was annoyed with you today, but there’s really nothing new there.”

Tamaki wailed, “What do I do?! How can I stop annoying her?! I can’t use my charm with her, she’s completely immune to it! In fact, I think it makes her even more angry!”

Hikaru and Kaoru had finished their conversation and made to sit down with the rest of the members. Kaoru wore a blank face while Hikaru still looked bothered. Kyoya filed their expressions for further review. He wondered if he would be hearing what had transpired later.

“I think,” Kyoya advised, “You should stop worrying about it.”

“What do you mean stop worrying about it? THAT DOESN’T FIX THE PROBLEM.”

Kyoya gave his signature smile, “On the contrary, I think that overreacting and overthinking would possibly make you more irritating.”

“HOW WOULD YOU KNOW, KYOYA?” Tamaki snapped.

Just then, the other members watched closely to see how Kyoya would respond. Hani had paused his consumption of cake to stare wide-eyed, Mori next to him sat completely unfazed, and the twins, making up the seats between Mori and Tamaki, bent forward watching engrossed in the interaction between Mom and Dad.

Kyoya chuckled pushing his glasses up, giving Tamaki a side eye. “I believe I speak from experience.”

Tamaki grabbed his chest dramatically. The rest of the club deflated as the tension went away. While the impact of Kyoya’s statement wasn’t as hard as it could have been, it must of hit deep for Tamaki.

“Of course,” Tamaki admitted, “You know best. As my best friend and closest confidant, you would. Yet, you should also know that I could never be complacent.”

Kyoya looked both amused, exasperated, and confused all the while keeping his sardonic smile. Tamaki reached out to Kyoya gripping his shoulder while the other hand gestured.

“You must know that I’ll always take action. I could never stand still in a world that continues on without stopping. And when my heart decides that something must be done, my mind must take action to achieve my goals,” declared Tamaki.

“Why can’t your mind take the action of doing as you normally do?” Kyoya questioned taking another bite of his mousse.

“Because normal is making Haruhi mad!” Tamaki shouted.

Kyoya zoned out a bit as Tamaki went on and on about Haruhi and how a daughter shouldn’t hate her father. Instead, Kyoya’s eyes fell on Hikaru and Kaoru who have both been pretty reticent on the matter. It was quite unusual. Hikaru was content watching Tamaki’s sporadic hand as he rested his head on the knee he had pulled up from the floor. He had relaxed and appeared to have dispelled his sour mood. Kaoru kept a strained look of indifference. It was a sharp contrast between the two. It occured to Kyoya that maybe Kaoru was the one who was angry and not the other way around as Kyoya had thought.

Again, he pushed the observation to the back of his mind for later. It was just in time as Tamaki was starting to wind down from his tantrum.

“Do you feel better?” Kyoya commented snarkily.

Tamaki only frowned.

“Well, I think Tama-chan should just ask Haru-chan,” Hani added while taking another bite of cake.

“Yeah,” Mori agreed.

Tamaki shrieked, “No way! Haruhi would eat me alive for bringing it up!”

“I mean, we’re certain that she’s not angry. I’m sure she’ll tell you honestly how she feels and even tell you how to stop being so bothersome.” Hikaru spoke up.

Hikaru’s willingness to talk and Kaoru’s explicit silence made Kyoya’s curiosity grow. He had a few more ideas about what had happened between the two.

“I think one of the devils has a point,” Tamaki thought out loud. “Tomorrow, I shall ask.”

Coming to the conclusion of Tamaki’s speech, everyone but Kyoya and Kaoru clapped. Whether their actions were genuinely supportive or to applaud that Tamaki’s whining was over was hard to tell.

Eventually, the club members had to return home for the night. Mori and Hani left after finishing the cake. Tamaki was next, leaving the twins with Kyoya.

The music room’s atmosphere was somewhat tense as Kaoru continuously ignored Hikaru. Kyoya didn’t bother to do or say anything other than to finish his mousse. Once he was finished, he gave his full attention to the twins. He was hoping that his questioning glare would cause one of them to crack. He wanted to know what was happening for a number of different reasons from losing revenue to discord among the club. However, he was not successful.

“I’m going,” Hikaru announced. He put a hand on Kaoru’s shoulder, “I’ll be waiting.”

Kaoru didn’t respond, didn’t even look up at his brother. Kyoya saw anger flash in Hikaru’s eyes before it was wiped away with a hurt look. Hikaru grabbed his bag from where he slung it onto the ground earlier. Kaoru’s bag, next to it, slumped to the ground without the support. Hikaru then slammed the door shut on his way out.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Kaoru flinched slightly land dropped his gaze to his lap. He was in deep shit and he knew it. Hikaru was upset and reasonably so. Somehow Kaoru had managed to hit every single exposed nerve of Hikaru’s. What’s worse was that Hikaru didn’t seem as angry at him as he should have been. It made Kaoru feel even more guilty. Though, what he did just then, had set Hikaru off. He was certain that once they got home, into the privacy of their shared room, he might just have to duck in fear of thrown objects. Not to mention, the amount of yelling that Hikaru might do. He knows better than anyone how incessant Hikaru can be. When he hurts, Kaoru must hurt too. But Kaoru didn’t feel that was unfair because it went both ways. They always shared their pain, whether physically or emotionally. That’s just how it’s been.

However . . . Life’s already begun to change for them. Ever since Haruhi busted down the glass walls that surrounded them, it’s been a major stress on the twins. Hikaru and Kaoru weren’t mad about this. In fact, they felt relief. Their whole life they lived as one. It was Hikaru and Kaoru, not Hikaru or Kaoru. They had each other through anything and everything. They could trust each other when anyone else could turn their backs on them. However, they were two people. Two similar but different people. And Kaoru was sure that he and Hikaru didn’t realize just how painful this process of finding their own selves as separate people would be.

It felt like losing a limb. He needed Hikaru and though he could live without him, it wouldn’t be the same. He would still feel that phantom limb, possibly feel that pain as if it was freshly cut. A wound that would never heal, at least not fully. And what was Kaoru even thinking? He chided himself over his dramatic analogy. It wasn’t like Hikaru was dying or dead. It wasn’t like they hadn’t spent some time apart before. However, the conflicts the two were having individually were totally different.

So as the door slammed shut, it was a reminder of the ever-growing divide that was created between him and his twin. It was a reminder that despite sharing everything in their life all the way down to their DNA, they had interests that were already driving them apart. It was scary. He thought being alone with his twin was hard. But being truly alone, alone by oneself was a new feeling. Hikaru was mad about Kaoru’s attraction to Haruhi, that was expected. However, Hikaru’s reaction to the other thing . . . He couldn’t have cared less. Kaoru wasn’t sure whether to be angry, sad, or happy about the reaction. Regardless, it made him feel upset and his childish response had set Hikaru off.

“Well?” Kyoya spoke across the table.

Bastard, Kaoru thought. He clenched his teeth to keep the words that wanted to fly out caged behind his teeth.

“You two are behaving rather oddly today.” Kyoya stated in a neutral tone. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Kaoru looked up from his lap. He had a lump in his throat and an ache in his chest. “I think you know what’s going on.” He whispered.

Kaoru didn’t trust himself to speak any louder. He knew he was on the verge of tears. This kind of behavior is something Hikaru would do, and it made Kaoru’s chest burn with anger. The aching being replaced by something more acidic.

“I’m not entirely sure.” Kyoya disagreed.

Kaoru shook his head, “Then, don’t bother making sense of it.”

Kyoya shook his head. His face remained neutral so Kaoru didn’t know if Kyoya would continue their conversation or just end it like Kaoru wanted him to. He wanted Kyoya to shrug it off and maybe Kaoru might be able to drop whatever was bothering him

“Have you made up your mind?” Kyoya chimed in suddenly.

Kaoru was confused for a moment before he realized what Kyoya meant and nodded his head, “Of course, I have. That was never really a hard one.”

This caught Kyoya’s attention, “I suppose.”

Kaoru laughed coldly. “I like Haruhi, but I would never compete with Hikaru for her.”

Kyoya hummed in agreement, “However, what are you truly upset about?”

Kaoru couldn’t face him directly so he turned his head away. He held his head down enough so that his bangs would fall over his eyes. “What if I said there was another person I was interested in?”

Kaoru felt the urge to laugh again. He sounded like a middle school girl. One that was borderline obsessive. And he couldn’t stop the hollow, barking laugh that did escape him.

“Kaoru, it’s completely acceptable to be attracted to someone else,” Kyoya reasoned.

“Not this person,” Kaoru murmured. “I don’t want to know the consequences of loving one peron, while also being infatuated with another. Especially since this person is special and different. And most notably not the opposite sex.”

Kyoya didn’t respond at first. Kaoru wished to leave, he was tired and humiliated. This was his problem that he was taking out on others. Kyoya’s the last person to deserve the treatment.

“It’s fine.” Kaoru grunted. “I’ll leave, Hikaru is waiting.”

He stood up abruptly. The chair almost fell backwards but pitched forward correcting itself. On his way to get his bag, Kaoru felt a had latch onto his wrist.

“Kyoya-senpai, let go.”

“I can’t possibly imagine what’s going on in your head at the moment. And can’t imagine what it feels like to experience what you’re experiencing,” Kyoya began.

“Kyoya!” Kaoru interrupted.

“However,” Kyoya continued calmly, “You assume I don’t understand or haven’t experienced same-sex attraction.”

This made Kaoru freeze. It was direct and he hated it. “Kyoya,” He tried again but it was weak.

“I understand feeling like it’s going to end poorly. I understand feeling like it’s forbidden.”

Kaoru stopped pulling on Kyoya’s grip and stood still.

“And I understand that Haruhi in this equation makes it all the more complicated,” Kyoya explained, “You told Hikaru yesterday about Haruhi, and today about me.”

Kaoru stayed silent.

“He was mad about Haruhi but relieved when you said my name. You haven’t told him your decision?” Kyoya’s question was more of a statement than a question.  
Kaoru nonetheless shook his head. No, he hadn’t told Hikaru. Kyoya continued.

“And the reason why you’re mad because he, in that moment, was only caring about his chances with Haruhi,” Kyoya’s voice took on a more gentle tone, “And didn’t really care that his twin brother had come out to him. Something that is important to you, not just from an identity and emotional perspective but also because it could mean severe consequences if anyone found out. Yet, he took it breezily.”

“I didn’t say it was you.” Kaoru choked trying not to be so emotionally out of control. “I never mentioned your name so that he wouldn’t do anything stupid. He was also mad about me for not telling him. For keeping secrets. But you’re right, like you always are.”

Kaoru looked up and saw in Kyoya’s face as the pieces of the puzzle came together. Kaoru knew that he had the picture for the most part, but Kyoya was able to find the missing pieces.

“But he also seemed to get bored with that as well, trying to make me say it,” Kaoru sniffed. “I’m tired of his games.”

Kyoya let Kaoru’s wrist slip from his hand. Instead, Kyoya put a reassuring hand on Kaoru’s shoulder.

“I’m glad you told me.” Kyoya said and Kaoru could see he was being sincere.

Kaoru smiled yet felt melancholy, “You’re not creeped out that you have another crazy admirer?”

Kyoya shook his head, “I wouldn’t categorize you anywhere near crazy admirer.”

“Where would you categorize me?” Kaoru knew he was being cheeky as he wiped the few tears that did escape with the sleeve of his uniform.

Kyoya didn’t respond but gave him a true smile. It wasn’t one of his usual ones, but it was genuine.

Kaoru didn’t ask again. He just got his bag and thanked Kyoya for hearing him blabber like a baby. Kyoya stood with his feet together, arms crossed over his chest with that warm smile.

“Anytime,” Kyoya said, “I mean it. If want to talk to me, just call me, or text me.”

Kaoru nodded and let the door to Music Room #3 close behind him. He watched as Kyoya’s moonlit form in the now dark room disappear between the doors.

When Kaoru made it to the car, he tipped his head at the driver and opened the door to the back seat where he could make out Hiakru’s head. He slid in next Hikaru but didn’t say anything as Hiakru had his headphones on and turned up all the way. Kaoru waited for him to take them off to talk to him. It wasn’t until after the driver was off Ouran property that Hikaru paused his music and pulled the headphones to hang from his neck.

“Did you have a nice talk with your boyfriend?” Hikaru joked.

Kaoru smiled again. He knew that maybe on the surface Hikaru’s comment was harsh but it was really Hikaru’s way of saying sorry.

“Why?” Kaoru asked bumping his shoulder into Hikaru’s, “Jealous?”

Hikaru smiled while blushing.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Things carried on after that as they had for the past two years. Tamaki made girls swoon, Mori and Hani made them gush, the twins entertained the girls with their highly theatrical displays of ‘Brotherly Love,’ and Haruhi gave them someone down-to-Earth and easy to talk to. It was as it should be and Kyoya felt relief that Hikaru and Kaoru worked out the issue, or it appeared so. Kyoya was sure that Kaoru didn’t bring it after that night, however Hikaru had made some sort of apology nonetheless.  
Which was a good thing, and despite Kyoya’s bitter feelings for how Hikaru responded to Kaoru, he knew Hikaru well enough to expect it. Despite Hikaru being an ass a lot of the times, he didn’t do it out of pure maliciousness and was quite sensitive. Kyoya understood that Hikaru was still maturing and didn’t nearly have the amount of emotional perception and comprehension as Kaoru. Which amazed Kyoya when he had met the inseparable twins and did to this day.

And starting with Tamaki’s arrival, he began to notice how the individual differences started to shine more and more each day. Then, in came Haruhi who was most certainly the catalyst for that reaction making their change accelerate faster than it had before. It was obvious to Kyoya that the twins were simply having growing pains in response to their rapidly changing relationship and he could admit that maybe it was too quick. However, he reasoned that it was good for them. It was what they needed. They couldn’t stay in their little world forever.

His thoughts were then interrupted by Hikaru entering his line of vision.

“So, Kyoya-senpai,” Hikaru wondered, “What did you say to Kaoru the other night?”

Kyoya was waiting for Hikaru to ask, and surprised to say that he hadn’t thought Hikaru would last until Friday.

“Hikaru!” Kaoru cried animatedly, still in Host mode. “It’s a secret!”

Kyoya stayed quiet as the scene unfolded in front of him. The onlookers beside him being Haruhi, Mori, and a bunch of the girls.

“When did you start keeping secrets from me?” Hikaru bit his lip and turned fully away from Kaoru, the overexaggerated expression and tone made Kyoya want to roll his eyes.

“I’m your twin brother, am I not? We’re supposed to tell each other everything.”

“I-I’m sorry, Hikaru.” Kaoru stammered. “I couldn’t tell you before. However, now . . . ?”

Kaoru looked around the crowd with a few stray tears at the corners of his eyes. It was not how Kaoru looked when crying, Kyoya knew. When Kaoru cried his face turned red, especially across the bridge of his nose and onto his cheeks. His long lashes stuck together and his nose would run.

“I’m too embarrassed to say!” Kaoru wrapped his arms around himself.

Hikaru spun on his heels and made his way to Kaoru. He held his twin brother as Kaoru let his head fall onto Hikaru’s shoulder. “Don’t be embarrassed, Kaoru.”

Kaoru looked up and the artificial tears he had dropped into his eyes came streaming down. “We were talking about you.”

Kyoya’s eyebrows quirked up without his consent. He wasn’t sure how truthful Kaoru was going to be in his answer. He tried to hide his reaction by finishing his thoughts on his clipboard.

“You were?” Hikaru cried.

Kaoru nodded, albeit a little too sagely. “I always end up talking about you. You are, afterall, my whole world.”

Kyoya began to write too forcefully onto the clipboard. He wrote himself a quick note to talk to the twins about better lines.

Nevertheless, the guests of the host club went wild. Kyoya saw out of the corner of his eye Haruhi putting a hand over her mouth as if she was about to vomit. Mori gave an entertained smile at her performance. Kyoya fought back the urge to smile at it as well.


	2. "I hope so, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holo, everyone! I'm so glad that this work is doing fairly well. It's a huge change from Wattpad which was what I was using to upload a few of my stories. I'm glad I've moved to this website since Wattpad is just not as good as it use to be, imo. Well enough of that! There a few things to note now that I've hit 24,000 words (in total, as I've been writing ahead):
> 
> 1) the timeline of events is a bit awkward. So this story takes place in an anime/manga fused timeline so Grand Tonnerre is a thing in this story. This also takes place during Haruhi & the twins' second year, meaning Kyoya and Tamaki are third years, and Mori and Hani are graduated/in college. Though, as the story progresses, you'll be able to see what's happened from the canon.
> 
> 2) I wanted this to be an aged up fic so get ready for some sick time jumps later on.
> 
> 3) I'm thinking of adding some extra content into a bonus/side work series? Like there are a few instances in my story where I don't want to add certain scenes and it's simply from a pacing point of view that I've excluded them. However, I could write these "deleted scenes" in a multi-part series of essentially one-shots. I can also put in requests there for anyone who wants them :)
> 
> That's about it! I know the formatting is a bit messed up but I can live with it. Again, there might be typos or messy parts because I'm editing it myself (very poorly). 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!

“Remember on Monday, we are making infographics. So if you haven’t found some interesting facts about your Renaissance country now, you better do it this weekend!” Tamaki reminded at the end of club that day.

The rest of the club responded with a very unenthusiastic ‘Yay.’

The Host Club packed up with a unanimous decision to leave instead of hanging out that day. It was probably because it was the weekend. Everyone had things to do for school, club or in Haruhi’s case, chores. So, as the bell chimed the hour, room emptied out quickly.

Leaving Kyoya and Kaoru behind.

“Good afternoon,” Kyoya greeted sarcastically.

Kaoru pursed his lips, “I-I think I need to talk. Or ask a question?”

Kyoya nodded and leaned against the wall while Kaoru hopped onto the window sill. His legs kicked restlessly as he started to speak.

“Kyoya, I know it’s only been four days but I have questions about _us_.” Kaoru emphasized. “It seemed as if you skirted around the fact that I did confess that I had a major crush on you. Yet, because you didn’t say anything about it . . .”

“You want me to accept or reject you feelings?” Kyoya supplied.

Kaoru’s legs stilled and wrapped his arms around himself not unlike he did earlier with the little skit he put on with Hikaru. “I guess. And if you don’t know yourself, I can wait.”

“I should start off by saying I’m flattered,” Kyoya confided.

Kaoru flinched because that sounded like a rejection. Yet . . .

“And I would love to explore a relationship with you, honestly.” Kyoya seemed hopeful. It caused Kaoru to be unsure whether he read the expression right. “However, I will have to make you wait if you so choose to pursue our relationship.”

Kaoru paused. This was a lot to take in and coming from the Shadow King, it was unthinkable. He questioned himself and swore up and down that there was no way Kyoya was reciprocating his feelings. Kaoru did bite his lip at what he said, but he wasn’t upset. He was very much the opposite since he was receiving a massive dose of dopamine from Kyoya confirming his interest.

“There are quite a few things keeping me from returning your feelings freely and openly,” Kyoya explained, “I’d want a serious relationship without such conditions. I’d like to test the waters a bit before completely submerging ourselves.”

“You sound too much like a businessman making a contract,” Kaoru grinned. “If you’re worried about me, which I think is impossible for an Ootori, don’t be.”

Kaoru winked which caused Kyoya’s eyebrows to rise.

“I’m a big boy. I think I can handle what you really have to say,” Kaoru challenged.

It was a stretch, one made with the devilish Hitachiin attitude. Kaoru knows he’s pushing too hard, too fast. Yet, he figured why not? Kyoya knew everyone like the back of his hand. It gave him the upperhand in this conversation. Kyoya could easily sniff out this rouse and actively predict Kaoru’s actions. Of course, this understanding of all of his friends on top of his intelligence and abilities made him untouchable. Even though Kaoru could match some of those things, he was nowhere close to Kyoya. It made Kaoru think maybe that’s why Kyoya’s not taking the bait. Kaoru had a brief line of thinking that showed his true insecurities. Maybe he wasn’t good enough for Kyoya and that’s what this was about, however Kaoru pushed the thought away viciously. Kaoru brought the more probable choices to weigh out in his head instead. He thought about how Kyoya’s technically in a position of authority over him as Vice President of the Host Club and he is a year ahead of him. But, to Kaoru it didn’t feel like that would matter. 

Kaoru also knew what Kyoya was referring to when he said that there were ‘a few things keeping him from returning Kaoru’s feelings freely and openly.’ It wasn’t that he didn’t feel the same, because he did want his family and friends as well as Kyoya’s to be accepting. But like all things, it just takes time. 

Though, why were they worrying about all this now, Kaoru thought, they were just teenagers? Even with famous parents and eyes on them most hours of the day, it’s nothing that little bit money couldn’t fix in the meantime.

Though, Kyoya did the unexpected. Which Kaoru kicked himself mentally for not realizing that Kyoya would do something so provocative and suggestive just to knock Kaoru off his high rocker. Or perhaps, to watch Kaoru squirm for his enjoyment.

Kyoya gathered himself to his full height pushing off the wall. He then bent over Kaoru, making his mouth level with Kaoru’s ear. Kaoru was paralyzed with anticipation. Kyoya stayed like that for a few seconds probably relishing the moment of cornering a Hitachiin. He then slowly turned his head so that his lips grazed over the shell off his ear. It embarrassed Kaoru how turned on he was just at the simple graze of lips on his ear. 

Regardless, Kyoya spoke in a voice Kaoru had never heard before. It wasn’t a whisper but it wasn’t a soft voice either. It was rough as Kyoya spoke somewhere in between. And Kaoru couldn’t deny how much it riled him up.

“If you were a big boy, you’d understand why I’m keeping you at arms distance. I’m not pushing you away, I’m not letting you go, I’m keeping you just within my reach so that when the time comes . . .”

Kyoya slowly pulled away from the side of Kaoru’s head. He dragged his nose against Kaoru’s cheek until it met with his nose. “I’ll be able to pull you in and we can meet as one.”

Kaoru felt the blush on his cheeks and the goosebumps rise all over his body. It was absolutely mind blowing to be able to have Kyoya Ootori between his thighs, to have Kyoya so close to his lips, to see his pupils expanding as Kyoya took in every detail.

“That seems selfish,” Kaoru breathed. He dropped his gaze down to Kyoya’s lips then fluttered his eyes back up to Kyoya’s. “Keeping me all to yourself.”

Honestly, Kaoru wasn’t mad. Though, it wasn’t his brain deciding that.

“Indeed.” Kyoya agreed, “However, I’m not trying to hold you down. You are free to love and to choose whoever you want in the time it takes me to uphold my promise. If I can’t make it in time, then it will be my one regret. What I’m trying to do is promise you that as long as you’re willing, I’ll hold onto you.”

“Why didn’t you say that in the first place?” Kaoru giggled a bit, getting drunk on Kyoya’s proximity.

Kyoya looked a bit frazzled himself. “I suppose I wanted you to know how strongly I feel about this.”

“So you’re sure, you won’t find another one? Someone better than me?” Kaoru felt a bit more sober with the question. What if Kyoya found someone that fit him better than Kaoru? What would Kaoru do then? He spent all his time waiting on Kyoya to finish what he had to do just to run off with somebody else? It admittedly didn’t sound like Kyoya, but then again, Kyoya’s love life was never thought of before by the host club. Kaoru wasn’t sure what Kyoya was capable of.

“Never,” Kyoya looked certain, “I know the man you are and it makes me glad to be your friend. I see the man you are becoming and it makes me want to be the one, the only one you choose as your partner.”

It made Kaoru’s heart race. He felt like he was about to combust. He could already feel the flames licking up his body. He hoped that he wasn’t sweating an obscene amount from the heat.

“You promise?” Kaoru asked.

“I promise,” Kyoya assured.

“Okay,” Kaoru chirped. 

Kyoya only grinned at the response. He pulled back much to Kaoru’s disappointment. Kaoru stayed in that position with his legs parted, spine straight, and blush prominent. His hands were twisting anxiously in his lap.

“Kyoya?” Then, Kaoru stopped himself. “I can call you just Kyoya, right?”

“Of course,” Kyoya made a beeline for his laptop which was sitting on one of the love seats. He slid it back into his school bag.

“I know we both have to go,” Kaoru went on, “But I still want to talk to you. I mean, I still have questions. You keep distracting me!”

Kyoya laughed, “I’m sorry. I may or may not have done that on purpose.”

Kaoru deflated. He should have known. Though, he did put on a ‘cute’ frown as a Hitachiin twin would.

“All in due time, Kaoru.” 

.

.

.

.

“How long have you felt this way about me?” Kaoru asked.

Kaoru laid across Kyoya’s bed as Kyoya wandered around the room looking for certain items of clothing. He looked in his drawers for his cufflinks as they were usually in the top left-hand drawer, however it seems as though his sister had came through and rearranged everything again. He couldn’t find his plain black socks, nor his undershirts. Luckily, his suit was left alone as it had gone to the dry-cleaners. 

In response to Kaoru’s question, Kyoya paused for a second. “Since possibly last year?”

“You’re not sure?” Kaoru asked loudly.

Kyoya looked to Kaoru who stretched further across his bed. He didn’t have his eyes on Kyoya, instead he laid similar to a starfish looking up at the ceiling. Though, if he turned his head, he could see Kyoya kneeling through the doorway of Kyoya’s walk-in closet.

“When I met you, you two were in middle school,” Kyoya stated. “You were closed off from the rest of the world. You and Hikaru had grown twisted like vines and were inseparable. It was difficult to know where one began and the other ended.”

Kaoru kept his eyes up.

“I, at the time, could discern you from Hikaru. However, you weren’t as independent from Hikaru as you are now. I would describe it as being able to tell you two apart physically, but on any other level, you and Hikaru bled into one another.”

Kaoru turned his head to meet Kyoya’s gaze.

“You see?” Kyoya hummed. “It’s hard to develop feelings for someone when a lot of their personality is hidden or mixed with another’s.”

“So, you magically developed feelings for me?” Kaoru was slightly incredulous. Maybe it was because despite staying almost completely platonic, the speed at which their relationship was progressing was enough to give Kaoru whiplash. It was one thing to feel attracted to Kyoya, trying to overcome the denial and doubt from it. It was another thing to receive an affirmative that the other party felt the same way, if not, more strongly. It was terrifying to know how sure Kyoya was about his feelings. The Shadow King himself, as cold as he came across, had romantic feelings towards one of the host club members and the member was Kaoru, out of all the others to choose from. Though, Kaoru knew he and Kyoya already started to become closer since the end of last school year and the start of this one. In fact, Kaoru was Kyoya’s first pick for assistance. They had worked on plenty of projects between them. He had noticed Kyoya becoming more open and honest with him while they worked together. It was such a slow transition that Kaoru didn’t even notice until Kyoya was unabashedly honest. Kaoru, in return, wouldn’t tell anybody including Hikaru what Kyoya’s thoughts and feelings were. Kyoya started coming out of his fortified chateau where he closely guarded anything that would make him vulnerable. To think Kaoru would be the one he opened up to.

“No,” Kyoya answered truthfully, “I had begun to feel differently towards you about a year and a half ago now. As we started to work together, I began to see more of you.”

“Less of Hikaru,” Kaoru interpreted. 

Kyoya chuckled, “Trust me, I tried to resist.”

“I guess it was the same for me. I shouldn’t be so hard on you when I don’t even know when I started feeling this way myself.” Kaoru curled onto his side facing Kyoya.

“I don’t think so.” Kyoya said rising from the floor. “I offered myself as someone you could talk to. I got carried away when you started asking questions. It was my fault for releasing it all onto you.”

“It isn’t like you,” Kaoru murmured, getting butterflies in his stomach as Kyoya strode from the closet to the bed.

“No,” He agreed and sat on the bed next to Kaoru. 

“I didn’t know you had feelings,” Kaoru mocked. 

Kyoya schooled his expression into a deathly serious glare, giving Kaoru a look out of the corner of his eye, “Unfortunately.”

.

.

.

.

Kyoya listened to Kaoru’s laugh. It echoed throughout his room and it made Kyoya’s mouth twitch upwards without his permission.

“What about Tamaki?” Kaoru asked.

“What about him?”

Kaoru shrugged, “Did you ever have feelings for him.”

Kyoya quirked an eyebrow and didn’t say anything.

“I know it sounds stupid but I’m still curious.”

Kyoya thought back to his and Tamaki’s life in middle school. Kyoya was Tamaki’s first friend in Japan, he was the first one Tamaki asked to join the host club, and Tamaki was the first person that Kyoya held close outside his family. Kyoya would admit to having feelings for Tamaki, though they weren’t remotely romantic or sexual. It was closer than a friendship. It could be described as brotherly. However, that didn’t really fit it either. It was something uniquely theirs and he told Kaoru that.

“Cop out,” Kaoru grinned. “So, you aren’t like . . . interested in Tamaki and never have been in the way you are with me?”

“With that moron?” Kyoya shook his head. 

“Tono would be hurt, senpai.” Kaoru grabbed the sides of his face faux horror.

Kyoya bent towards the head of the bed and pulled a pillow down to Kaoru. He gave Kaoru a good whack on the head before settling. “He knows it. I have told as much.”

“I’m surprised,” Kaoru unfolded from the fetal position he assumed when Kyoya came at him with the pillow. He looked thoughtful, an expression that softened Kaoru face. Kyoya studied him and waited for Kaoru to ask whatever he was formulating in his head. 

Kyoya felt the warm, melting feeling in his chest. One that he had whenever he caught these moments where Kaoru was just Kaoru. He was completely open, genuine, and honest. Kyoya might have even tacked on naive. Except in Kyoya’s eyes, there were no negative connotations of those adjectives when speaking of Kaoru. Kyoya was grateful for Kaoru being so trusting. It was hard to find in the circles that Ouran students ran. There were never ‘best friends’, it was clearly a transaction or a ploy. A way to rekindle alliances between companies, organizations, or business partners in general. Kyoya had become skilled at spotting them. Ever since he was young, he had always been searching for alliances and it was something ingrained within him. 

Though, Tamaki’s arrival into his life had given Kyoya perspective and a good example of what an honest person was. 

As he waited for Kaoru to say something, Kyoya thanked Tamaki for crashing into his life. He thanked Tamaki for gathering a wonderful group of friends Kyoya would have never even noticed before. And in the long run, Tamaki had given Kyoya his first love. It seemed weird to even think about it. Kaoru was Kyoya’s first. An unliking pairing to say the least. He imagined many would assume he and Tamaki would be the pairing, as Kaoru did. And as much as he loved Tamaki and treasured him, Kyoya couldn’t imagine being with the dork like that. As for any other of Kyoya’s possible love interests, he wasn’t even sure that after Tamaki there would be any. Definitely not Hani-senpai for he was much too childish (Kyoya meant that in the most friendly way possible) or Hikaru for he was much too emotional, veering into what Kyoya would describe as tempestuous. Mori, maybe, for his silent persona and easy-going nature. Yet, it still wasn’t a good fit and even as friends, they rarely hung out together. Haruhi, on a personality basis, paired nicely with him but he was simply too reserved and unsympathetic for her. Though, Kyoya did admire her and wouldn’t deny attraction, he didn’t prefer women in the greater scheme of things.

Kaoru was the unsuspecting match. He shared personality traits with his brother - without a doubt. There was some immaturity with overlap in humor, they both were quite deceptive and mischievous, and had a knack for getting under your skin. The differences between Hikaru and Kaoru lied in how they achieve their shared aspects. Kaoru was much more calculating and thoughtful while Hikaru typically went for whatever he felt was much more irritating. Kaoru was also quite a bit more sympathetic, if not empathetic. When alone and facing a new social situation, Kaoru is more likely to take a backseat and observe whereas Hikaru would say and do as he pleases without tact.

“Do you want to work on the posters?” Kaoru asked. Kyoya could tell it wasn’t what he really wanted to ask. Kyoya assumed that Kaoru decided not to ask his original question or Kaoru thought it better to wait. Either way, Kyoya felt a twinge of guilt or anxiety, he wasn’t sure.

Kyoya nodded, “Yeah, I might as well. I can’t find my cuff links or socks.”

“Fuyumi-san?”Kaoru got up to grab the large tablets that he and Hikaru brought for the club last Monday. One was in his bag and the other lying on kyoya’s dresser. 

The club had planned last Monday to make the infographics, however everyone got side tracked by the tablets’ features. No one really got any work done and so Hikaru and Kaoru let them all take their respective tablets home to finish by that Saturday. They all had to send their infographics to Kyoya to be printed out. The Renaissance event was to take place on Friday the following week. Besides the posters, there was going to be food (both modern and historically accurate) as well as an after party where the members would host a dance set to popular European music from the Renaissance era. The food and music had already been planned and scheduled by Kyoya, however he was pretty busy with the arrangements that he hadn’t finished his infographic.

Kyoya nodded to him as Kaoru handed one of the tablets to him and dropped down on the floor next to his legs.

“Why are you sitting down there?” Kyoya spoke softly while opening his project.

Kaoru shrugged secretly fawning over the quiet voice Kyoya only used with him, “I don’t know. Do you need a stylus?”

“Sure.”

Kaoru handed Kyoya his stylus.

“Don’t you need yours?”

“I’ve finished all I needed to use it for. Right now I just need to type out the information.”

Kyoya hummed his acknowledgement. 

They both worked in silence for the rest of their time. Kaoru had gotten up sometime while Kyoya was trying to find the best picture of Italy to get his laptop to research more information. By the time Hikaru was blowing up Kaoru’s phone, Kaoru had somehow finished his infographic for his poster and Kyoya was almost finished decorating his (he had already gathered all the information he needed). 

Kaoru huffed, “I think I need to go. Otherwise, Hikaru is going to throw a tantrum.”

Kaoru’s words brought a small smile to Kyoya’s face. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer. I could have helped you find your cuff links.”

Kyoya lost his smile but the warmth didn’t leave his eyes, “I won't bore you with such a task. I’m planning on calling Fuyumi anyways and if she doesn’t remember, I’ll just buy some new ones.”

“Oh,” Kaoru had a gleam in his eyes. It was a telltale sign that he was planning something in his head. “Well, I hope you find them before tonight.”

“I hope so, too.”

.

.

.

.

Kyoya did not find his cuff links in time for the dinner his father had planned that night. Fuyumi had laughed at him over the phone and insisted that she hadn’t been over at the house since Akito’s birthday. It still left him without cuff links. He then asked the maids who hadn’t seen them. After another twenty minute search, he found a dark purple button-up with gold buttons on the ends of the sleeves that looked enough like cuff links to pass. He then found a black undershirt that appeared from the old folded clothes he had on the tops of his closet shelves. Finally, he finished with the suit pants and jacket. Honestly he was pleased with how it turned out. The gray suit went well with the dark purple and gold buttons.

That’s when his phone pinged with a text message from the family driver. His father was waiting. Kyoya quickly gathered his wallet and phone before leaving his room. 

His phone buzzed in his hand right as he turned the sound off. 

Kaoru: _did you find your cuff links?_

Kyoya typed a short negative and continued down the hallway towards the entrance.

Kaoru: _damn. Can I see?_

Kyoya: _see what?_

Kaoru: _your outfit dummy!_

Kyoya frowned at the name but felt fond.

Kyoya: _hold on_

He made it to the entrance where some of the staff were waiting including Kyoya’s trio. Kyoya veered to the left to the alcove where there was a mirror. He pulled out his phone and made a pose similar to an Instagram model. Flash and all. He knew Kaoru would find it amusing.

“Young Master?” 

Kyoya quickly caught up with them putting his phone in his breast pocket. The car was parked in front of the door waiting to collect Kyoya and as he was descending the stairs, Kyoto’s father was getting into the vehicle. Kyoya went around opening his own door unlike his father. He slipped in without ceremony.

“I asked you to be ready by a quarter till five.” His father spoke calmly and without emotion.

“Yes, father.”

“The time is currently five-oh-eight.”

Kyoya didn’t hesitate, “It is, sir.”

“Luckily, this event is merely a gala and not an important conference or forum.”

Kyoya felt his phone vibrate in his breast pocket, “Yes, sir.”

“I do not want to see you late again.”

“Yes, sir.”

Kyoya waited a few beats before slowly pulling out his phone.

Kaoru: _damn_

Kyoya wanted to react but he couldn’t do so in front of his father. Kyoya quickly flicked his eyes up to him and studied if he was watching Kyoya. His father was most definitely keeping tabs on Kyoya’s actions at that moment but not actively. So Kyoya typed a few short texts and knew Kaoru would understand.

Kyoya: _thanks_

Kyoya: _father_

Kaoru: _I’m sorry. But you do look good. Nice “cuff links”_

Kyoya was satisfied.

.

.

.

.

Kaoru looked at the picture Kyoya sent. His mouth was dry instantly. He typed the only other word he could think of, _damn_. The other word not as nice, much too vulgar.

Kyoya was framed by a thick-edged, black mirror showing about three quarters of his body. The mirror cut off at his knee yet hung high enough to show some room above his head in the reflection. He held his gray suit jacket open with a loose fist. His right hand held his dark phone, the flash whiting out a bit of his chest and neck. Kaoru would have happily stared at Kyoya’s slender fingers if it weren’t for the part that not only made him laugh but really did it for him.

Kyoya has his head cocked to the right and slightly tipped back. His face for the most part was neutral yet for where he was biting his bottom lip. His eyes fell onto his phone screen hidden from view. 

It would under any other circumstance strike Kaoru as douchey. However, the stance was so unlike Kyoya that he knew it was meant to be ironic. Yet Kaoru couldn’t help feeling a bit turned on. The dark purple really suited Kyoya. And, in Kaoru’s opinion, Kyoya could wear any suit and still look good. The suit he had on was practical much like the man who wore it. Yet, with it on Kyoya, it raised the suit’s appeal to Kaoru. 

Before Kaoru could study it further, a few more texts came in from Kyoya.

Kyoya: _Thanks. Father._

Kaoru went back to the picture and realized that maybe he should have said something more but now that Kyoya was with his father, he would have to wait. He saw on Kyoya’s left wrist the gold buttons that looked similar to cuff links and said:

_I’m sorry. But you do look good. Nice “cuff links”_

.

.

.

.

“Kaoru! Stop talking to Kyoya and help me!” 

Hikaru was trying to finish his infographic on Portugal while also trying to finish homework for his classes.

Kaoru sighed and stood up. “I’ll work on the poster but everything else is on you.”

“I wouldn’t have suggested it any other way,” Hikaru grinned.

Of course he would have. Hikaru was working on a rather monstrous essay and Kaoru was definitely the better writer of the two. Not to mention Hikaru hated reading a lot of the stuff that was required for the class, so he either winged it or looked up the synopsis. The only highlight to Hikaru’s situation was that he had read the book this time. Though, he really didn’t understand it and would probably continue to pester Kaoru with questions about comprehension. 

“Uh-huh.” Kaoru grunted in response.

“Oh, c’mon Kaoru! I thought you’d be in a better mood after seeing Kyoya!” Hikaru clasped his hands and held them close to his chest in similar fashion as a Disney Princess. “Your dark knight, your lover, your man.”

Yes, seeing Kyoya put him in a good mood but Kaoru wasn’t in the mood for Hikaru’s antics.

“Do you want me to help or not?” Kaoru asked rather tiredly.

Hikaru stood up from his crossed-leg position in the middle of their shared bed. He walked down towards the foot and jumped off. Approaching Kaoru as if he were a wild animal, he sat slowly next to Kaoru who was messing with the tablet.

“Kaoru?”

“What?”

“Are you mad at me?” Hikaru cocked his head.

Kaoru felt like yelling or crying, or both. He laughed to cover up the emotions running within him. “Wow, you came to that conclusion all by yourself?”

Hikaru sneered, “Why are being so difficult, can’t I have my fun?”

“You can, Hikaru.” Kaoru’s warbled voice echoed in the large room, surprising Kaoru himself, as he struggled to maintain his composure. “Just not with this. Kyoya is someone who’s actually helping me like my twin brother should be. Instead, my brother is trying to get into Haruhi’s pants.”

It wasn’t like that, Kaoru understood how Hikaru felt about Haruhi. He wasn’t pursuing her for sexual benefit.

“Oh?” Hikaru breathed. “That’s rich coming from you. You who said you felt the same as me regarding Haruhi. Are you lowering yourself to my level or should I pull out the fact that you’re messing around with one of our friends while stringing him along?”

Tears were pricking in Kaoru’s eyes but he quickly blinked them away, “It’s not like that.”

“Isn’t it?” Hikaru continued. “You can’t have both, brother.”

Kaoru went to leave. He didn’t want to fight, especially with Hikaru. He couldn’t handle this right then. He couldn’t handle the way Hikaru spat those words at him with such animosity. It was so corrosive, it burned at the back of Kaoru’s throat.

“It’s okay for you to like Haruhi as I do _AND_ Kyoya as well. That’s perfectly fine! But if I want to like someone out of the group of people your gathering for yourself, it’s just to get them in bed? As your free love is anything more?”

Kaoru wanted to slam his head repeatedly into a wall. He was stuck with conflicting urges to run and hide or stay and fight. He found that he could both by getting up and nervously pacing around the bed as Hikaru kept at him.

“I found someone who I like, who I could picture a life with. I wasn’t even mad that you liked her too. We have always shared things, so I didn’t care Kaoru! I didn’t care if you liked someone I liked as well! Yet, I was hoping that since you had Kyoya maybe I would have a chance! That maybe there would be something we could both like without having to share.”

“YOU MORON!” Kaoru exploded. “I was never going to take her away from you! I had decided from the moment you showed interest, I wouldn’t fight you for her.”

Kaoru has paused his pacing in front of Hikaru. He could see as Hikaru’s face go from anger to confusion to a painfully pale realization.

“I need Kyoya because he understands the shit I’m going through right now. He’s someone I can trust. Someone who doesn’t say stupid shit like you! He isn’t my friend with benefits either! We haven’t done anything close to even categorize our relationship as even boyfriends! We hang out, talk, and do homework. That’s it! I was hoping I wouldn’t have to explain it to someone who should know me by now. I’m not whoring around with my imaginary friends with benefits group!”

Hikaru sat as still as a statue.

“You don’t realize how much I hated myself for liking guys,” Kaoru’s voice dropped down a few volume levels to a mere shaky mutter, “I was afraid of what you would think. Even though I knew you wouldn’t care, I worried. Then, I started developing feelings for Haruhi which threw me in for a spin. I wasn’t just gay, I still liked women and I had fallen for a girl who my own twin had fallen for as well. Yeah, how screwed up is that?”

Hikaru let his head bow as his hands gripped the edge of their bed.

“I know it wasn’t exactly unexpected or that terrible. Though, I decided I didn't want to compete with you or put you through that fight especially when I’m not ready to enter a relationship. Not now, at least.”

Kaoru sat down again and grabbed Hikaru’s fist.

“I don’t know if what I have with Kyoya will work out. I haven’t come out to anyone except you and Kyoya. I don’t know what Mom and Dad will say, I don’t know what our friends will say, and I certainly don’t want to cross the Ootori’s. But, here I am, ruining expectations and making it so much harder on myself because I apparently like torturing myself with things I can’t possibly have.

“And, I’m not mad at you. I don’t think I’ll ever be truly angry with you. I’m more angry with myself for not telling you sooner or explaining it to you. I just didn’t want you to worry or to try to protect me. Or for that matter, try to understand. It’s not fair to you. It’s my fault for even starting this argument.”

Hikaru didn’t say anything but he opened his hand to Kaoru’s. They held hands in silence for a long time. It reminded Kaoru of how they always kept their hands locked as kids. They never wanted to let go.

“I’m sorry.” Hikaru spoke. “I said . . . I said —”

“Seriously, don’t worry about it. I’ve already forgiven you.” Kaoru assured. “Let’s just try to get your work done before another fight breaks out. Otherwise, Saito-sensei will have your neck.”

Hikaru nodded curtly and robotically. He didn’t say anything but returned to his essay as Kaoru returned to the tablet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, Kyoya as a instagram model is almost unimaginable for me, but damn, he would so great at it. Also it looks like I need to add five angst tags for the emotional battering Kaoru's getting. I honestly don't like angst but now I see why its so fun to write.
> 
> Please leave comments about really anything (how your day is, what's going on in your life, what you ate for breakfast/lunch/dinner, what is/are your pet(s) name(s)). They feed my soul.
> 
> (Side note: Saito-sensei is a made up teacher from Ouran)


	3. "Can't get rid of you even if I tried."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slightly late update. I was quite busy tonight! Nevertheless, enjoy this dumpster fire :)

The event Kyoya attended went off without a hitch. In fact, him and his father made it there just in time. Kyoya did his part by charming the attendees and his father did his part by showing both Kyoya and the Ootori group off. He had to admit that this wasn’t just the party sort. Many of the guests were there to do work in a more fun and social atmosphere. It was casual despite the formal attire and it reminded Kyoya of a more regal science fair. The whole point of the gala was to raise money to send medical supplies such as vaccines to Mali, Burkina Faso, Niger, and Nigeria. Of course, the Ootori group would produce the equipment needed to handle the vaccines and several other representatives were there as well from pharmaceutical companies that manufactured them. 

However, the rest of the attendees were professionals in an array of careers in the scientific field. Kyoya asked why mathematicians and physicists were there; their answer was to support the cause and be able to talk with a large group of people who may not be within their field but interested in their work. A bit of networking and social bonding across disciplines, Kyoya thought. He actually enjoyed his time as many of the people who spoke with weren’t businessmen and were genuinely passionate about what they do. It wasn’t lost on Kyoya either. His excellent education gave him the opportunity to understand what they were discussing, not to mention the language to do so as many were English speakers, not Japanese. All in all, he had a good time. Maybe too good as his father had commented on Kyoya’s authentic enthusiasm and willingness to speak with a lot more potential partners than usual.

Sadly, the night had to come to an end. Kyoya and his father went back to the car as the hosts were announcing the total amount of contribution and the winners of some raffle they were doing. The Ootori’s had pledged a donation of $15,000 USD to the charity along with the supplies. They did not participate in the raffle for baskets filled with nice chocolates, fruit, jewelry, and technology. It was simply too late otherwise Yoshio would have stayed. Not to mention, Kyoya had to go home and make sure all the host club members had sent their infographics to Kyoya correctly, if not at all. He had to format them again and send them by Monday morning to the printing shop near Ouran to ensure they were ready by Friday. 

Kyoya checked his phone. It was around twelve thirty and he knew it was a good possibility that Kaoru was still awake. So, he sent him a message to say goodnight.

Kyoya:  _ gala wasn’t too bad, actually enjoyed myself. No one noticed the missing cufflinks _

Kyoya smiled this time as the darkness hid most of his face. He glanced out the window at the scenery passing by, only small circles were fully illuminated by the street lamps. He felt an urge to roll down the window and take in the crisp air and feel the cold on his face, however his father would probably tell him to roll it up.

Kyoya’s phone buzzed and lit up.

Kaoru:  _ hahaha good. Wouldn’t want anyone thinking you were a degenerate for not having them _

Kyoya was keeping his smile with the light on his face. Though, the emotion rising in his chest intensified regardless of what his face was doing. He almost put his phone back into his pocket but it vibrated again.

Kaoru:  _ btw Hikaru didn’t finish his infographic and made me do it. It might not get done tonight _

Kyoya:  _ that’s fine just send it ASAP _

Kaoru:  _ thanks!!! Good night ;) _

Kyoya:  _ good night  _

When the Ootori duo returned to their main estate, Kyoya was still trying to school his expression into one of indifference. His father didn’t seem to notice or care that his youngest was grinning like an idiot.

“Kyoya,” Yoshio called.

Kyoya stopped as his father did in front of him.

There was a short moment where Kyoya waited for his father to speak once more. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself tonight.”

Kyoya was in disbelief. He didn’t move as he waited for his father to say more. That couldn’t have been all he had to say, could it? Kyoya had expected an insult or a lecture after, as his father didn’t give out his feelings even sparingly. It was rare borderlining impossible. As the moment passed, his father continued without another word. His small group of staff followed him inside leaving Kyoya unsure and feeling something he couldn’t describe. It was wrapped in dread, tasted sour on his tongue, submerged in grief, yet filled with warmth and love. It would appear his father had been watching him intently enough during that evening to see Kyoya’s happiness. Despite Yoshio’s iron grip on his children, he often didn’t give them that level of attention unless they did something wrong or they were being tested. Kyoya might even say Yoshio was neglectful and uninvolved only until the family business was brought up. However, in that moment, Kyoya might have let himself think that he could have been wrong about his father. Though, just as soon as that flicker of hope seeped into his chest, it was extinguished. 

Kyoya knew better. People didn’t change overnight, or in a night. His father had done that on purpose to see his reaction, for what Kyoya felt around irritatingly in the dark for an answer. It didn’t come to him. Of course, Kyoya had theories but they weren’t as concrete as he would have liked them to be. The first thought was a new business development. Yet, Kyoya had been watching closely for such a thing via stocks, newly formed alliances and merges, deaths, promotions and demotions, losses and gains, and the like. Kyoya hadn’t seen anything unusual there. His second thought was possibly one of his brothers had pissed off his father and his father was trying to read Kyoya for information. Though, Kyoya wouldn’t know if something did happen, so if that was the case, his father hadn’t got anything from Kyoya. But, Kyoya knew it wasn’t a strong possibility that was what transpired. His last thought was the most likely and the most terrifying. His father knew about Kaoru, or at least parts of what was going on between the two. 

It wasn’t hard for Yoshio to see, Kyoya knew. Not only did Yoshio have eyes and ears on Kyoya at all times (maybe not in school, but definitely while at home), Yoshio was able to see Kyoya’s messages and emails. He probably saw the influx of conversations between Kyoya and Kaoru and while the messages didn’t give anything away, the amount surely did. Kyoya’s never talked to somebody that much by text, not even Tamaki. 

As Kyoya passed through the threshold to the main entrance, that’s when it dawned on him that Yoshio wasn’t necessarily speaking about the gala. He could have meant it to sound like so, yet spoken with a double meaning.  _ I’m glad you enjoyed yourself tonight _ could have referenced Kaoru’s visit earlier in the day and it could have referenced Kyoya’s behavior while texting Kaoru. Either way, Kyoya was screwed wherever Kaoru was brought into the picture.

He took a quiet, steadying breath and made his way to his room. Once there, he shut the door and locked it. He climbed the stairs to his bed and found it covered in the possible outfit combinations for the gala he pulled out earlier. He had forgotten that he left it as it was because he was running late. 

Kyoya began picking up his mess. The clothes went on hangers in the closet or folded and put into drawers. His pillow he used to hit Kaoru was placed back at the top of his bed. After, he undressed and put his night clothes on, admittedly tired and ready to sleep half the day away tomorrow. Before he did, he checked his phone and saw it was now a little after two o’clock. Underneath, the time he saw an email from Kaoru with an attachment. Apparently, he decided to stay up to finish Hikaru’s poster. Kyoya saw the email was sent to him five minutes ago. Kyoya wanted to clobber Hikaru for making Kaoru do the work for him. Especially, since it was so late. Luckily for Hiakru’s sake, it was the weekend and Kaoru could rest.

Kyoya got into bed and laid his phone on his night stand. He had thought he would be able to sleep well after such an eventful night but he was wrong. For a good portion of the time he tossed and turned. His mind was full of ideas and plans for the upcoming week and how to find out if his father was aware of Kyoya’s and Kaoru’s evolving relationship. He gave up after the sky had lightened up significantly and the birds started chirping. He quickly sent a message to the head of kitchen for personal coffee. It was brought up within twenty minutes. He gratefully sipped the dark brew hoping the caffeine would keep him awake.

He was enjoying the peaceful morning by catching up on social media when his phone rang.

“Kyoooo-Yaa!” 

_ Tamaki _ .

“Good morning, President. What is the purpose of your call?” Kyoya used his formal voice sarcastically.

“I just got the perfect idea on how to get Haruhi to go on vacation with us!”

Kyoya frowned and took a sip, “You do realize we’re in the middle of term, right?”

“Of course, I do!” Kyoya could hear the smile on that idiot’s face, “I meant for winter break! I want to go somewhere warm for New Year’s. I overheard Haruhi talking to Mori-senpai and Hani-senpai about going away for New Year’s weekend! This is the perfect opportunity!”

“Uh-huh.” Kyoya had spoken to Ranka-san last week about it. He had given his daughter his blessing to plan a weekend at an onsen for New Years. Though, Kyoya knew Haruhi’s plans weren’t set yet, it still seemed a bit rude to invite himself to change them. Of course, Tamaki hadn’t thought of that nor would he ever.

“What do you think, Kyoya?” He pictured Tamaki as a dog with a furiously wagging tail.

“Tamaki, I believe Haruhi wants some alone time. She has been working very hard lately, I think she deserves a weekend away from the Club.” Kyoya explained as if he were talking to a child.

Tamaki screeched, “I know that! But can’t she relax with us?”

“Hardly,” Kyoya almost choked on the last sip of coffee.

He heard Tamaki moving around on the other end of the line, “I mean, we can go to the onsen if that’s what she wants. We won’t force her to go somewhere tropical. I mean she doesn’t even have a passport!”

“Why ‘we’? Why are you dragging me into this?” Kyoya muttered annoyed.

Tamaki obviously wasn’t listening to him as he continued on like nothing happened. “Please, Kyoya! Could at least try to persuade her?”

Kyoya laughed inwardly, “Why don’t you ask her?”

Tamaki made a sound that sounded like a wounded dog, “She’d shoot me down. She actually listens to you, though. That’s why I’m asking.”

Kyoya rolled his eyes. Haruhi wouldn’t listen to him under normal circumstances. However, she did with the intentional poorly veiled threats he made. They really didn’t hold any weight to them, but Haruhi didn’t need to know that.

“Fine, I’ll talk to her. No guarantees.” 

He heard Tamaki celebrate on the line for a few seconds while he thought about hanging up. He decided not to hurt Tamaki’s feelings and stayed on the call. He rubbed his hand across his face and took a deep breath. It was going to be a long week.

.

.

.

.

Kaoru woke up early much to his annoyance. He was glad, though, for not being kicked out of the bed by Hikaru. Instead, he was on the edge with an arm and leg dangling off the side. He slowly sat up feeling stiff all over and winced every time one of his joints cracked. Most of all he felt  _ tired _ . It was the thing he felt even above his stiff joints. It was as if there were a fog around his head and in his ears. His eyelids were weighted and no matter how hard he fought, he felt them slipping down. 

He got up without regard to waking Hikaru because he would probably sleep through a tornado if given the chance. He went straight for the kitchen to get one of the maids to make some coffee when he saw his mother and father at the breakfast bar.

“Kaoru!” His mother seemed just as surprised to see him as he was to see her. So surprised that she didn’t pretend to confuse him with Hikaru. “You’re up early.”

He shrugged. He was finding it a bit odd to be standing shirtless in his kitchen with his parents there.

“We’re back,” Yuzuha smiled and gestured around with her hands. 

“You’re back from . . .?” Kaoru didn’t remember when he was fully awake, and couldn’t then with his brain barely functioning.

“Hong Kong for me, but,” His father chuckled, “Your mother was in London.”

“Oh.” Kaoru breathed. “I came for coffee.”

“Well, get some. It already been brewed by the other set.” His mother motioned to the twins that worked on their staff.

“Yes, still piping hot.” The girls said in unison. “Though, it’s not the way you like it.”

“That’s fine. I just need something with caffeine in it.”

The twins worked together to get Kaoru’s cup filled and handed to him in record time. 

“Enjoy.” The said.

Kaoru sipped the stronger than usual coffee. It was definitely his mother’s roast. She preferred the darker and stronger while he, Hikaru, and their father preferred the light blend. However, he didn’t care less because he needed to wake up and the gross, bitter, black stuff was going to have to do it.

Yuzuha smiled and grabbed her own mug and sipped on it. His father returned to his phone and once again the kitchen fell into an easy silence. Kaoru didn’t like standing there awkwardly so he moved to the den, where he and Hikaru would be if they weren’t in their room. He fell back on the comfy sofa that sat in front of a large television and cabinet that held every gaming console known to mankind. He could hear from the breakfast bar his mother’s laughter as she and his father must have picked up a conversation without him. Could they be talking about him? Or Hikaru for that matter?

Kaoru pushed further into the cushions with his hands wrapped around the warm cup. He felt, for lack of a better word or phrase, out of whack. His lack of sleep was affecting his body and his mind. He was in a weird mood where he was bored yet didn’t want to invest the energy to get up and do something. He had a fleeting thought about taking a nap later after accomplishing something but he could feel his eyes closing against his will. He forced himself up straighter to keep from sinking into the soft cushions and falling asleep. He took another sip of coffee when Hikaru barrelled down the stairs and stalked into the kitchen.

“Kaoru! Oh, I mean Hikaru. Or is it Kaoru?” Their mother chirped. “Good morning, either way!”

Kaoru heard Hikaru mumble a half-hearted good morning before asking for coffee as well. Yuzuha chuckled and commented about how Kaoru wanted the same.

“Your brother is in the den if want to sit with him.” She told him.

Kaoru didn’t hear anything from Hikaru but with in a few seconds he was standing in front of him with a terrible expression. Hikaru had probably got less sleep than Kaoru since he stayed up to finish at least half of his essay. Kaoru went to bed while Hikaru typed away on his laptop next to him.

“When did you go to bed?” Kaoru spoke.

Hikaru flopped down beside him, “Five.”

Kaoru’s eyebrows rose, “Nice.”

Hikaru’s frown deepened, though he didn’t say more. He took a gulp of the coffee and hissed.

“It’s hot,” Kaoru joked.

“It’s also Mother’s coffee,” Hikaru stuck his tongue out.

“Well, she beat us to the kitchen so the maids made her coffee.”

Hikaru sat his mug on the coffee table in front of the sofa and snuggled into the back cushions the same way Kaoru did earlier. Hikaru didn’t want to talk so Kaoru took the time to think. He wanted to hang out with Kyoya again this upcoming week and maybe with Haruhi and Hikaru as well. He knew that on Thursday he would be with Kyoya helping organize the event for the Host Club after school. They would probably get plenty of time together on Friday as well. As for Haruhi and Hikaru, he thought maybe they could do something after club on Tuesday or Wednesday. An idea popped into his brain as he thought about Thursday. He knew Haruhi and Hikaru’s schedules were a bit more open that day. Kaoru thought about possibly setting Hikaru up on a date with Haruhi again while he was helping Kyoya. It was a great opportunity. 

Kaoru looked over at Hikaru whose head tipping backwards onto the sofa, his eyes shut and his mouth open. He nudged Hikaru with an elbow which caused him to jump. He looked over to Kaoru with sad, blood-shot puppy-dog eyes.

“Why did you have to do that?” He whined.

Kaoru ignored his question and asked, “Did I wake you up this morning?”

Hikaru processed Kaoru question as fast as his sleep deprived brain could and said, “No. I don’t think so. I just woke up.”

“Same here,” Kaoru said.

Hikaru groaned and fell onto his side and laid his head in Kaoru’s lap. “I wanna go back to sleep.”

“Too bad, you have work to do.” Kaoru told unsympathetically.

Hikaru shook his head, “Somehow I finished it so I think I deserve at least a nap.”

“Why don’t you go back upstairs for a nap instead of falling asleep on me?”

Hikaru pulled one of the throw pillows from his feet and put it under head. He didn’t bother responding and got comfortable on Kaoru. Now, it wasn’t like Kaoru couldn’t knock him off, he could. To be honest, Kaoru was just as tired and wanted to fall asleep on the insanely plush sofa. He relaxed himself a bit and reached over Hikaru to put his mug of coffee on the table next to Hikaru’s. Kaoru then settled and closed his eyes.

“Kaoru.”

“What?”

“Why did you worry?” Hikaru slurred a bit.

Kaoru didn’t open his eyes, “Worry about what?”

“About you being into guys? Why were you worried?” Then Hikaru said softer, “Why did you hate yourself?”

Kaoru didn’t want to say. He wanted to sleep, too tired for this talk. Though, he suspected that Hikaru had let his inner thoughts slip only because he was so sleep deprived. 

Kaoru kept a lot of the emotions and thoughts surrounding his sexuality in a box because dealing with it out the open seemed too painful. Even after his first obstacle of telling someone, not exactly coming out but recognizing he was different, Kaoru continued to have the idea that speaking in depth about it would only make it hurt worse. It was like picking a scab on a wound. He needed time so Kyoya’s promise was perfect for him. Kyoya wasn’t interested in delving into their relationship so soon, not until he was able to be with Kaoru freely. That was the deal. What Kyoya was thinking about doing was a long way off. The time it took for Kyoya to have everything prepared would take years and though Kaoru hoped he wouldn’t take that long, it appeared likely.

“Don’t worry Hikaru.” Kaoru whispered. “I’ll tell you eventually.”

“I can’t not worry, you know.” Hikaru countered.

Kaoru shook his head even though Hikaru couldn’t see him. “I don’t have anything to say. I’m figuring it out on my own first.”

Hikaru pinched Kaoru’s knee through his pajamas, “Remember I’m still here, though. We share each other’s pain. You can’t stop it even if you moved to the other side of the planet.”

“I know,” Kaoru sighed, “Can’t get rid of you even if I tried.”

Hikaru pinched harder and Kaoru laughed.

.

.

.

.

Eventually, the two fell asleep on the sofa together much to Yuzuha’s delight. She sneakily snapped a few photos to post on her private Facebook page. The only people friends with Yuzuha were close family members, colleagues, and without a doubt, the host club. She knew that her sons wouldn’t too happy and a bit embarrassed since Kaoru’s mouth was open and Hikaru was drooling onto the throw pillow. Nevertheless, Yuzuha inwardly gushed at how adorable her twins were. With the picture, she wrote in the post about what the two were getting up to in school and beyond. Simply, a little check up for family members who lived far away and of course, an excuse to post the picture.  _ They work so hard they fall asleep wherever they can! Love from Hikaru and Kaoru XX _ , she wrote at the end of the caption.

Kyoya had quickly got off the phone with Tamaki before he started talking about how cute chinchillas are and how they require dry, sandy baths, not wet, watery ones. When Kyoya hung up, he got a notification from Facebook about Yuzuha’s post. On any other day, Kyoya wouldn’t bother looking at it. He wasn’t a fan of social media in the way some of his peers were. If he were to have to choose his favorite, Facebook would be at the bottom of that list undoubtedly. However, he decided to look as she rarely posted on her private page. The photo was popular already among Yuzuha’s friends and she had garnered many comments about how precious the twins were when they were sleeping. Kyoya assumed that Kaoru didn’t get much sleep like him, judging by the dark rings around his eyes. He must have gotten up only to fall asleep on the couch again. The same went for Hikaru.

Kyoya smirked and took a screenshot sending it to Kaoru. He knew Kaoru would look at it right away if he had sent it. He had to admit, it was pretty cute and said so in a message sent along with the screenshot. 

He got up and searched for some clothes to get ready for the day. He really didn’t have that much to do other than what he did in his daily routine checking up on things. He did a few bits of homework but he was certain it would get finished fairly quick.

Most of the day was spent fulfilling these tasks. He stopped briefly to have very small lunch and returned to his work. When one-thirty rolled around, he had a short nap to quell the headache beginning to form. He woke up thirty minutes later to a few texts. One was from Haruhi asking for volunteer time slots to set up the Renaissance event on Friday. The other was from Kaoru who sent an angry-faced emoji followed by  _ Everyone’s seen it on Facebook, we’re ruined _ .

Kyoya:  _ At least, I wasn’t planning on selling it for club profits. I know many young ladies who would love to see the brothers snuggling on the sofa together. _

Kaoru:  _ You. Wouldn’t. Dare. _

Kyoya:  _ You know I would. But I won’t since drooling is unattractive. Or getting a fly in your open mouth. _

Kaoru sent a crying emoji and an accusation that Kyoya was being too mean. He added that no flies flew into his mouth either. 

Kyoya:  _ Regardless, I like the picture because you’re in it. _

Kaoru:  _ as much as I like you sappy, the Shadow King cannot canonically give cheesy, half-assed compliments in my narrative. _

Kyoya:  _ Oh, really? How about deep, passionate, intimate compliments? Does it suit your Shadow King better? _

Kaoru was unresponsive for a few moments. Kyoya hoped it was because he had made the younger Hitachiin flustered.

Kaoru:  _ yes _

That’s all it took for Kyoya’s poorly rested brain to take off without permission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> P.S. I'm open to requests! I feel bad for saying it a lot but the fact of the matter is I'm so very not creative. I would love to write your AU's or head-canons. It doesn't have to be OHSHC either. I have enough knowledge from a few other anime to write about them. Also stuff outside of anime. 
> 
> P.S.S. You can leave them in the comments or maybe I should post my tumblr profile so I can have them sent in anonymously (if you prefer). idk im procrastinating and not doing important stuff for school.


	4. "Death threats, already? We aren't even dating yet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, again. It's that time of the week.
> 
> So two things: 1) this fic is longer than expected and 2) after school starts for me, I will have to put it on hold-ish. Don't get me wrong, I will still be trying to update as fast as possible but with the new semester and harder courses coming up (chemistry, the bane of my existence), I won't be able to get a chapter out once a week. But fret not, I won't be having this problem until the last week of August (which is when classes start). 
> 
> Unfortunately, there's more problems: writer's block + being a very slow writer/typist. Yes, I am slowing down on my writing since I'm struggling to get past certain parts or not knowing where to go. On bad days, sometimes I only write a sentence or so, and then I crash. Also, I'm really slow with doing the work of typing. Like even when I'm in the zone (*cringes*) and typing away, I might only get ~400 words out of it. Yikes.
> 
> Good news, is I'm working on the side one-shots that come from the "deleted scenes" from this story. The first one will be about the winter break in which Haruhi wanted to have a nice trip to an onsen ALONE. However, the host club always butts in. This is mentioned by Tamaki who wanted to go somewhere tropical/warm and tasked Kyoya with asking Haruhi to come. Though, things don't go according to plan. It's going to be Haruhi-centric in a 3rd person POV. It's about half-way done as of now (~2000 words).
> 
> Anyways, enough with the announcements! I hope you guys are doing well and enjoy this update. :)  
> Update: tumblr! Catch me at anxtheroliveinthehouse (https://anxtheroliveinthehouse.tumblr.com/) for everything else! Requests will be opening soon!

Kaoru had gone upstairs with Hikaru after waking to the early afternoon sun shining through the windows. Of course, he and Hikaru had saw what their mother had posted and immediately retreated to their room for a pride repair session between twin brothers. Hikaru was absolutely mortified to be seen drooling such an obscene amount. Kaoru thought it was a bit cruel considering Haruhi was on their mother’s Facebook page. He wasn’t sure if Haruhi even got on Facebook enough to see the post or get the notification. Well, he guessed it didn’t really matter now because what’s on the internet stays on the internet forever. May close family and friends always remember that throw pillow. It had done its job for nothing in return providing comfort for all who sat on that sofa only to be drowned in Hikaru’s spit. Rest in peace.

Though, Kaoru did lock himself in the en suite bathroom and to find Kyoya’s message. The blood rushed to his cheeks and his ears. Of course, Kyoya, out of all times to actually check Facebook, he does it and sends Kaoru a screenshot of the post. 

Kyoya: _I didn’t know a little devil could be this cute while sleeping_

Kaoru: _ >:( Everyone’s seen it on Facebook. We’re ruined. _

He couldn’t hold back the dramatics. It wasn’t really affecting him (it was affecting Hikaru, though) but he liked to have his fun. He was more excited about where this conversation with Kyoya was going.

Kyoya: _At least, I wasn’t planning on selling it for club profits. I know many young ladies who would love to see the brothers snuggling on the sofa together._

The bastard! Even though Kyoya was almost always altruistic and benign towards Kaoru, it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try to make a profit off him for the host club. Kaoru understood he was joking, yet he couldn’t be too sure. He laughed and typed out his next message.

Kaoru: _You. Wouldn’t. Dare._

Kyoya: _You know I would. But I won’t since drooling is unattractive. Or getting a fly in your open mouth._

Kaoru: :,(

His pride was already hurt, he didn’t have to put salt in the wound.

Kaoru: _Kyoya, you’re being very unkind. We have just been dealt a serious blow to our reputation and this is how you treat us? Also, no flies were harmed in the making of that post so suck it, Ootori!_

Kyoya started texting again and Kaoru watched the little gray bubble with dots as Kyoya replied.

Kyoya: _Regardless, I like the picture because you’re in it._

Okay . . . Not what Kaoru was expecting but he’d take it. He got annoyed with how his blush intensified. Kyoya held so much power over his body, it wasn’t funny. Not that Kaoru could control when and how much he blushed, but it was like Kyoya had a switch to Kaoru’s body. Everytime Kyoya hit the switch, Kaoru’s body went haywire completely out of Kaoru’s control. Hell, Kyoya didn’t have to be physically present to do it. He could send a somewhat suggestive text and Kaoru would be writhing on the floor in ecstasy.

Kaoru cringed. He thought as he continued his conversation with Kyoya that maybe he ran away with his thoughts too easily. He could be so overdramatic. Who the hell ‘writhes on the floor in ecstacy?’ Certainly not Kaoru.

Kaoru: _as much as I like you sappy, the Shadow King cannot canonically give cheesy, half-assed compliments in my narrative._

Kaoru meant it. Kyoya had enough time and experience as a host to know better lines.

Kyoya: _Oh, really? How about deep, passionate, intimate compliments? Does it suit your Shadow King better?_

HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. 

Kaoru’s brain short-circuited. He did not read Kyoya’s message correctly or something. Did Kyoya really say that? 

While his brain went around in circles, his body sagged numbly onto the toilet seat he was sitting on. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He wanted Kyoya so bad, not just in the physical sense as some might assume, but the entirety of Kyoya. Kaoru wanted Kyoya’s affection, his kisses and hugs, his hands, his smiles, and his kind and honest words he only used when the people he cared about were around. Kaoru wanted time and companionship. A best friend who was allowed to see him fully, one who could see past his facade he had to put up.

After the inner monologue, Kaoru had yet to send another message. So, he took a chance.

Kaoru: _yes_

Kaoru waited for Kyoya to respond. He was anxious and impatient. What exactly did Kyoya have in mind? Kaoru wished he could peek into Kyoya’s mind, not to try to understand or read it. He wanted to watch the mastermind work. All the complexities, all the pieces as they moved as one. 

Kyoya: _I find you adorable in your mother’s picture. And you might have interpreted my comment as cheesy and half-assed. However, I truly meant it. As someone I know who can be so very vexatious and maddening, you look like a cherub among angels. A jarring innocence compared to the titillating behavior you have used on me. I suppose you are the deceptive one._

Kaoru was red all over. He imagined steam billowing out his ears from the way his brain exploded. He brought up his hands to cover his face. He didn’t know why he was hiding, there was no one but him in the bathroom. No one could see the tomato red he became from Kyoya’s words.

Kaoru waited for more, but nothing came. He then realized Kyoya was waiting for his permission to continue.

Kaoru: _go on . . ._

Kyoya: _The devilish cherub is an oxymoron. Yet, the petal pink lips that have said such vulgar things and the fanning eyelashes that frame flirtatious eyes tell me my conclusions are correct. To have something so wild and ribald be so precious to me, simply has me unbelieving._

Kaoru was moved to gush to Kyoya that he could have him all. Being Kyoya’s and calling Kaoru precious. The wording was too much.

Kaoru: _precious?_

Kyoya: _You are precious._

Kaoru: _And you have me?_

Kyoya: _As I’ve told you before, only if you’re willing._

Kaoru: _I am._

A loud knock at the door made Kaoru jump. His phone slipped out of his hands and thankfully, his fumbling allowed him to catch it before it landed.

“Hurry up! I have to go!” Hikaru yelled muffed behind the door.

Kaoru had a wave of annoyance wash over him. There were plenty of bathrooms in the Hitachiin household, why couldn’t piss off and find one of them.

“Why don’t you go to another bathroom?” Kaoru shouted. He flinched at the way his voice bounced off the hard surfaces of the bathroom and assaulted his ears.

“Why don’t you talk to Kyoya somewhere else?”

Kaoru groaned. He unlocked the door trading places with Hikaru. Once Hikaru had shut the door, Kaoru snuck out of their room and slipped into the guest bedroom across the hall. He locked himself into the bathroom there and went back to Kyoya’s messages on his phone.

Kyoya sent a short message, nothing more while Kaoru dealt with Hikaru.

Kyoya: _I’m honored._

.

.

.

.

Friday came sooner than expected. The Host Club packed into the side rooms of Music Room #3 to get ready. Haruhi and Renge dressed in their own room while the rest of the boys tackled the admittedly complex clothing together. Tamaki said historical accuracy and that’s what Kyoya paid for. Kyoya wore tan, puffy trousers that rolled at the knee with long white socks made to look like the undergarments as well as a billowing white shirt underneath with what looked like a corset that fastened with silver clips at the front. The corset-like thing was quite beautifully embroidered with leafy designs. However, another article of clothing was placed on top, a long and heavy jacket-like thing (Kyoya hadn’t bothered to remember the names) that covered half of his arms and went down to the start of his thigh. A tight collar-like piece that covered his entire neck was added for effect. The whole costume was finished with a large robe-like coat that reached his knees done in black and silver and a flat,wide hat with a feather on the side.

The rest of the club members had other ridiculous amounts of clothing articles as well. The twins Spanish and Porteguese outfits were extremely similar to Kyoya’s but with larger collars and without the robe-like coat Not to mention different color combinations. Tamaki’s French outfit was a mitch-match of designs on the pant with some ruffles ending in a shoe that Kyoya was sure he knew the name off, but regardless was atrociously ugly with how long and pointed they were. Mori and Hani-senpai’s outfits were much more long and flowing than the other’s (looking straight up like layers of robes)with capes and pointy shoes as well, though Mori-senpai’s Hunagrian outfit was way more decorated in the notable Hungarian style. Renge wore an elegant but extravagant gown that was emerald and a strange head piece that was tied to a small hat over her braided updo and hung a white cloth just under her chin. Haruhi’s outfit was the most simple of them all. Black pants, boots, two shirts and a red decorated coat topped with a fur-lined hat. Of course, everyone had to add the jewelry and other accessories like small purses to be completely finished.

After everyone was done, they were sweaty and exhausted. Especially Renge who, when prompted to tell how many layers she had on, gritted out ‘don’t ask.’

In Kyoya’s opinion, the event went off without a hitch, even with the rough start. The host club saw more attendees than usual and some boys as well. A lot of Ouran’s populace had shown interest and they turned out. The club was positively making a profit and Kyoya couldn’t help but feel great. It was a return investment that could quite possibly give three times the amount back. The infographics weren’t necessarily the attraction but the hosts themselves. Many students gravitated towards the more interesting costumes like Tamak’s or beautiful like Renge’s. The one group who didn’t follow the pattern was the Hitachiins who’s infographics were at a whole different level when it came to design. A lot of students clustered around their posters admiring the paintings the twins choose to use as well as the symbols and designs. Overall, the twins used less words and more pictures to convey the culture and society of Spain and Portugal during the 1400 and 1500’s.

Haruhi’s was also a popular poster as Russia didn’t necessarily get to participate in the Renaissance because of extreme distance, however the architecture was notable. Haruhi did a collage of photos of Russian buildings built in the specific style as well as included poems (in the original Russian as well as the translated Japanese) that spawned from the time period. It was simple yet effective. 

The host club socialized with the students for about forty-five minutes. As everyone finished their rounds looking at the posters, Kyoya and Tamaki announced the commencement of the second part of the event. The food was brought from the kitchens by the staff Kyoya hired for the event. The trays were placed on long tables covered by white table clothes. The food inspired by historical meals had small placards naming and describing the food. The other platters were more modern dishes or common Japanese foods. The guest formed a line wrapping around both sides of the stables. The Hosts dug in trying all the foods they never had before. Tamaki however had seen some of the dishes in French restaurants and spent a lot of time speaking instead of eating. 

By the time seven o’clock rolled around, the after party dance commenced. The rest of the dance is left up to your imagination as Kyoya wasn’t paying as much attention to the club and their guests. He only had eyes for Kaoru. He was enjoying himself and it made Kyoya weirdly happy. Kaoru was the only person in Kyoya’s life that could make him happy just by being happy. Kyoya watched him dance with some girls and entertain them with Hikaru by his side. Kyoya danced with some of the girls who he hosted before. Many of whom kept great conversation, he made it so. Whenever someone new came to the club, they would have to make through a conversation without being persuaded to visit another host. The clients who visited on occasion, not like the other guests did, had either kept the conversation going without being persuaded or saw right through the ruse. Those who stayed became a part of Kyoya’s clientele while those who left were none the wiser to what had occurred. Those who left would usually be better off as Kyoya wasn’t the right fit.

Kyoya didn’t mind dancing with the girls. They kept his mind occupied. Otherwise, he’d stand in the shadows staring at Kaoru the whole time. Though, when he had bowed to a girl seeing her off as the song ended, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Kyoya turned to find Hikaru as the source.

“Hey, can we talk?”

Kyoya cocked his head. Hikaru and Kaoru always seemed to have excellent timing and he said that sarcastically. He began to wonder why Hikaru would wait until the event to say something to Kyoya. Either way, Kyoya nodded because no girls had gotten to him for the next song. He followed Hikaru out into the hallway and into one of the smaller stairwells at Ouran. There on the landing between floors did Hikaru stop to address Kyoya.

“I don’t have the full picture of you and Kaoru,” Hikaru leveled his voice, “And I don’t want it. It’s private. But, I want to know how serious you are with Kaoru.”

Kyoya didn’t answer instead he took the time (a long time) to formulate an answer. He could see it irritated the older Hitachiin. However, Hikaru kept himself calm. 

“I haven’t seen Kaoru like this.” Hikaru said to fill the space. “Like _ever_. He’s always texting you and smiling. When it’s not the host club or school, he’s talking about you. Whenever we aren’t together, nine times out of ten, he’s with you.”

“I’m sorry if it makes you angry,” Kyoya apologized.

“Don’t say sorry. I’m not asking for ‘sorry.’” Hikaru waved his hands in front of him and shook his head. When Hikaru looked up at Kyoya, there was a smile on his face. “Kaoru’s been like this for a while and since you have opened up the possibility for you two to be together, he’s been happier.”

Kyoya felt the melting feeling again.

Hikaru rubbed the back of his neck underneath the ridiculous collar. “I’m the one who should apologize. I . . . I’ve said pretty nasty things to Kaoru about his relationship with you. I had said it wasn’t fair for him to have Haruhi if he had you, you know?”

Kyoya nodded and turned to lean against the wall.

“He won’t let me apologize since he thinks it’s his fault.”

Kyoya’s glasses flashed with the small but quick head movement. He had a feeling that Kaoru didn’t have any coping mechanisms without Hikaru. Kyoya saw the two pushing through obstacles in the past because they could rely on each other and could knew what the other was feeling. The problem was Kaoru’s sexuality was a burden on Kaoru alone. Hikaru could offer comfort, but he could never really feel how Kaoru did nor could he understand what it was like. It created a never before seen conflict between the twins. On top of that, they weren’t able to work through things as a duo. Now Kaoru had no one, or so he believed. It was likely, Kyoya thought, Kaoru had subconsciously sought out Kyoya to talk to the evening the twins argued after the Renaissance meeting. Kaoru needed another person to talk to since he was used to having Hikaru. He couldn’t deal with what he was feeling alone. Kaoru must have been desperate because it was shot in the dark. If Kyoya hadn’t been able to talk to Kaoru and understand, who knows how that night would have ended.

“I don’t want my brother to be heartbroken, that’s all.” Hikaru admitted. “I’m surprised it was you, don’t get me wrong. Though, I’m glad it wasn’t someone else.”

Kyoya cocked his head, “What do you mean?”

Hikaru looked embarrassed, “Kaoru could fall for anybody. An asshole like you or someone way worse. He could have his heart shattered by a stranger. With you, despite who you are, it’s different. You’re our friend and best of all, you have a good understanding of us. I also know you keep your promises.”

Kyoya wanted to be contrary and argue that Hiakru didn’t really know him as well as he thought. Afterall, Kyoya had never promised Hikaru anything. Though, Kyoya thought it best to stay silent.

“What I’m trying to say is,” Hikaru reddened even further and struggled to carry on after Kyoya’s elected silence, “I trust you.”

“You’re giving me your blessings?” Kyoya let his lips curl into a small grin. He had to poke fun at the Hitachiin when he got the chance.

Hikaru went from embarrassment to anger, “Of course, you’d think of it that way! You’re such an Oootori!”

Kyoya hummed, “I thank you for at least talking to me.”

Hikaru crossed his arms over his chest, “I do want to be clear: if you break his heart, I’ll break your neck.”

Kyoya turned to walk away, back to the party. “Death threats, already? We aren’t even dating yet. Not to mention, I’ve already received blessings from Yuzuha-san.”

Kyoya wished he had stayed longer to see Hikaru’s face. Kyoya was picturing it in his head as Hikaru screamed. 

“WHAAAT?!”

.

.

.

.

Kaoru had finished out the song with a girl in a beautiful blue dress while Kyoya and Hikaru were gone. He bowed to her and wished her a good evening. She gushed a bit before wandering off to her group of friends. The friends cheered her on as she returned to the ranks. Kaoru was left standing alone among the throngs of people. He looked for Hikaru but found he wasn’t anywhere near him like he usually was. Kaoru felt a twinge of panic, but he soothed it out with reasoning. Hikaru probably went to the bathroom or something. It annoyed him how easily his mind jumped into panic mode when Hikaru wasn’t around. He was old enough to not feel stressed out everytime he and his twin were separated. It wasn’t like they were kids anymore.

The next person he searched for was Kyoya. Kaoru walked around the perimeter of the room since Kyoya could be hiding somewhere in the recesses of the crowd. Kyoya was someone who hid in plain sight which meant Kaoru had to be vigilant and double check every spot. He was almost through his first lap around the room when Hikaru grabbed his shoulder.

Kaoru whipped around, “Where were you?”

Hikaru shrugged. Kaoru could see he was debating what to say; to be honest or to lie. “I went to talk with Kyoya.”

Kaoru felt his frame sag, “Why?”

“I don’t know.” He was sheepish. “I wanted to hear what he had to say.”

Kaoru rolled his eyes. “About us? Well, knock it off.”

Hikaru stuttered as he tried to find a response to Kaoru. “I-I . . . W-Well, you know?”

Kaoru grabbed Hikaru’s hand and pulled him back into the fray. He was simultaneously embarrassed and happy. He wished Hikaru would ask him things directly instead of going behind his back and making a fool out of himself. However, Kaoru could only assume that maybe Hikaru swallowed his pride and had a conversation with Kyoya. Especially since he was acting sheepish, it was not how he normally was. Because of that thought, Kaoru felt extremely happy.

“I think we should help this dance come to a close, no?” Kaoru looked back at Hikaru who was strung along by their connected hands.

Hikaru’s face morphed into a wicked grin. “Something that’d give Tono a run for his money.”

Kaoru nodded and mirrored the grin.

They broke through the line of people surrounding the dancing couples and pushed onto the dance floor. They easily took up a waltzing stance and began to glide across the floor. It amused the crowd around them and made some of the Hitachiin fangirls burst out screaming. Tamaki stopped dancing with on girl completely horrified.

“That’s not a Renaissance dance!” He yelled. “It’s three hundred years too late!”

“Sorry, Tono!” Hikaru called and spun Kaoru around.

“I don’t think your dances were historically accurate anyways!” Kaoru added.

“Why should it matter?” Hikaru finished.

Tamaki shook his fist at the twins. The Hitachiins laughed and told him he looked like an old man. The rest of the guests watched entertained by the show. 

Towards the back of the onlookers, Kyoya stood with his phone out. He watched as the twins danced around Tamaki. Kaoru saw him over the heads of the girls. For a brief moment, he shied away from Kyoya’s gaze. He bent his head down to Hikaru’s shoulders trying to hide the blush. When he looked up to Kyoya again, he saw Kyoya had his phone up in front of his face. Kaoru was confused for a split second and it wasn’t until he realized Kyoya was taking a photo did the camera on his phone flash. Kaoru frowned, only an Ootori would want to monetize their pranks. This really didn’t bother Hikaru as it did Kaoru as Hikaru hammed up the performance by dipping Kaoru down. Kaoru was a bit slow to the uptake almost forgetting to raise a leg to keep the balance.

“Do you realize how ridiculous we look in these outfits while waltzing?” Kaoru groaned into Hikaru’s ear.

Hikaru chuckled, “Would you rather us do the tango instead?”

Kaoru pouted but didn’t continue.

After the short banter, Hikaru let Kaoru take the lead. It was then that Tamaki decided to try to stop the duo by physical force. It led to a very amusing chase around the room. Kaoru was able to move through the crowd with Hikaru avoiding Tamaki. The twins taunted their club president and cracked jokes. The rest of the host club didn’t bother to help either party. Though, Haruhi seemed very disappointed in both.

Eventually, the president tired while the twin hosts scurried off into one of the side rooms to hide. Kaoru and Hikaru quickly hid in the changing room for Haruhi knowing that no one would come in besides maybe her. However, the twins didn’t care if she overheard anything.

“That was pretty good!” Hikaru laughed while clutching his stomach.

“It was!” Kaoru agreed. “Now what?”

Hikaru stopped laughing and a serious face replaced the one filled with mirth. His hand came up to touch his chin as he contemplated their next move. While he was waiting, Kaoru rocked back on his heels in his crouched position and thought of Haruhi. If she did come in here, what would happen? He doubted Haruhi wanting to be involved but that hasn’t stopped him and Hikaru from including her before. It would make it more fun to have Haruhi ending the night with whatever Hikaru came up with.

However, Kaoru thought about how cute she looked in her costume. He didn’t want to have her doing anything that might ruin it. Kaoru had Haruhi in his mind’s eye and fawned over it. Kyoya really did a good job of finding an outfit that was small enough for her. He doubted it was easy. Though, Kyoya could have had something made for her specifically. Kaoru had the sudden urge to know Haruhi’s exact measurements so he could get something from his mother’s line for her or better yet, make something himself. He wanted to have his pencils and his drawing notebook in his hands. He had ideas for Haruhi already. Though, it would really depend on her whether the ideas he had were realized. 

It felt weird knowing that he had this thing for fashion design. It wasn’t like Hikaru wasn’t talented in that aspect either. The difference was Hiakru wasn’t interested in it as Kaoru was. Not to mention, his mother had already made both of them try working with different fabrics, materials, and the tools used to bring a new piece of clothing together. She wanted at least one of them to take up a career in the fashion industry. Though, the one day Hikaru did participate, he intentionally broke the fancy sewing machine their mother had. Kaoru didn’t know how, but Hiakru had somehow made the thing smoke and catch fire. Their mother knew better, Hikaru tried to play innocent and it did not work out well. He ended up grounded and not allowed to play any games, have his phone, or even leave the house. Kaoru, of course, spent that time with Hikaru. Hikaru didn’t seem bothered by the grounding. He actually was a bit happy because he knew his mother wouldn’t try forcing him into sewing lessons again. He had made it clear to Yuzuha that he was NOT interested in fashion. 

The thing was, Kaoru felt guilty for Hikaru’s grounding. He had the ability to work as his mother did and yet, she still had both of them doing it. Hikaru had said before that he would rather do something closer to what his father did in technology. However, Kaoru believed he wasn’t talented enough to show his mother he should be the one instead of Hikaru. Kaoru couldn’t perform well enough to allow Hikaru to follow his dreams and do what he wanted to do. He was adamant it wasn’t his mother’s fault, even if Hikaru might say so. She probably did what she did so that she didn’t separate them. They, at the time, were still pretty intertwined and never did any activity alone. Not to mention, despite Hikaru’s clear disinterest, Kaoru never really spoke up about his countless notebooks filled with pages of designs that his mother would sing at proudly. Kaoru knew he wouldn’t have worked with his mother without Hikaru there beside him.

So, he blamed himself. Everything that went wrong could be traced back to Kaoru being afraid of separation. He knew Hikaru felt it too, yet Kaoru couldn’t help but feel responsible for not being enough for both his mother and his brother. He and Hikaru had to stay together but they also had to go their own ways. It was a constant tug in opposite directions. One force of gravity between them, pulling them together, and another dragging them away. Kaoru felt like he was being torn down the middle. Maybe it was a good idea to be torn into two. One part could be with his brother while the other part with his future. He wouldn’t have to worry about being in both places at once if there were enough parts of him to go around.

But, he couldn’t do that. Not any sense, whether physical or metaphorical. He could give everyone a piece of him metaphorically and then there wouldn’t be some Kaoru left for himself. Or he would have to start breaking the pieces down into smaller and smaller bits to make sure everyone who wanted one, had one. Then, at that point, having any bit of him would be worthless.

Kaoru shook his head. He needed to stop thinking like that. It wasn’t good for his mental or emotional health.

“Hey, Kaoru,” Hikaru broke Kaoru out of his trance, “How about . . . ? Are you okay?”

Hikaru could see Kaoru’s pale face before him. His twin looked small and unhappy. It was a sudden change for Kaoru.

Though before Kaoru could respond, Haruhi pushed back the curtain they hid behind.

“There you two are.” Haruhi huffed. “That wasn’t very nice of you to interrupt the dance.”

“Well, I thought it was boring.” Hikaru remarked.

Haruhi frowned and drawled, “That’s your opinion.”

“Oh?” Hikaru caught on. “Were you enjoying yourself, Haruhi?”

Haruhi’s frown deepened yet she didn’t say anything.

Kaoru let them squabble. He didn’t want to get in it. He stood there feeling out of place while Haruhi and Hikaru went back and forth, well it mostly one sided as Hikaru continued to poke fun at her while she stood her ground. Eventually, Tamaki and Kyoya rescued him from having to listen to Hikaru flirt with Haruhi in the most indirect way possible.

Tamaki nearly had a heart attack when he saw his precious daughter alone in the dressing room with two other boys. Kyoya stood behind passively watching the scene unfold.

“WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING TO MY DEAR HARUHI?! If I find out one of you perverted idiots did something to her, I’ll make you pay!” Tamaki grabbed Haruhi and spun her into his arms. He pointed a finger at the twins accusingly.

The twins spoke in unison, “Nothing happened.”

The twins stretched and put their arms behind their heads synchronized. The two grinned like the Chesire cat from _Alice in Wonderland_ and went around Haruhi and Tamaki. When they passed Kyoya, Kaoru stole a glance. Kyoya didn’t look over but Kaoru had a feeling Kyoya was watching him from his peripheral.

“Whether or not they did something to Haruhi is none of my concern,” Kyoya began while Haruhi muttered a sarcastic _Thanks, good to know you care_ , “What you did tonight was great for business. A lot of the photos I took and posted to the club’s website have already picked up a considerable amount of traffic.”

“Great.” Haruhi deadpanned still tucked in Tamaki’s arms.

“However,” Kyoya turned to the twins who waited for him to finish, “It was against club rules.”

“How so?” Hikaru snapped. “What we did was tame compared to some of the other things we’ve done. I wouldn’t even consider it a prank!”

“Indeed.” Kyoya pushed up his glasses. “However, a lot of those pranks were done outside of the club or outside of school. Hence, not within the sphere of authority for the host club’s executive board, A.K.A Tamaki and me. What you did tonight was against the guidelines of this events; not only dancing an historically inaccurate dance, which I find unconcerning, but causing a chase in a very crowded room and leaving the party without permission barring bathroom breaks and emergencies.”

“Oh c’mon, Kyoya.” Kaoru pleaded. “It wouldn’t have been a chase if Tamaki-senpai hadn’t followed in pursuit.”

Kyoya shook his head. “We’re lucky you two didn’t knock someone over.”

“Hey, Kaoru’s the best at avoidance,” Hikaru joked. “You’re not giving him enough credit, Kyoya-senpai.”

“Gentlemen,” Tamaki spoke, “I agree with Kyoya. Though, I’m not going to punish you.”

Kaoru heard Hani-senpai gasp from the doorway behind them where both he and Mori-senpai lingered. Kyoya crossed his arms but his face was neutral, not letting anything show.

“At least, not in the traditional way of suspension. We need you two.” Tamaki admitted letting Haruhi go. “Kyoya?”

Kyoya hummed as Tamaki called for his attention.

“I’ll be thinking of some punishments for them, I’d like to hear your thoughts on the matter as well.”

Kyoya nodded and let his gaze fall onto Kaoru for a split second before his glasses reflected the light in the room, covering his eyes.

“We’ll have our decision by Monday.” Tamaki ended the conversation. It was in moments like these when Tamaki was being serious that reminded Kaoru of Suoh-san. Suoh-san might be plenty charismatic and Tamaki definitely did get the charm from his father, but it was the straight-faced, business-only Tamaki that was a Suoh trait through and through. 

Kaoru could tell Hikaru was upset. He stayed quiet as the rest of the host club filtered out of the room. Eventually, it was just the twins and Haruhi again. Hikaru remained silent with his head down. Again, Kaoru felt that guilty feeling pulling down on his rib cage and leaving a burnt taste in the back of his throat. He wanted to reach to Hikaru to apologize. He was going to, his hand raised to find Hikaru’s shoulder, however he didn’t get the chance as Haruhi wrapped her arms around him. It caught Kaoru (and Hikaru) off guard. It left Kaoru stuck in that position with his hand out waiting to see what would happen.

“I think they are being overdramatic.” Haruhi said against Hikaru’s chest. “However, we all know the host club king is actually a drama queen.”

Hikaru lifted his head as Haruhi looked up to him. Kaoru could see the blush spreading on his cheeks. “I just don’t think it’s fair.”

“Maybe not.” Haruhi sighed. “I doubt it will be anything crazy. If I find it a little too harsh, I’ll say something.”

“Thanks, Haruhi.” Kaoru finally unfroze from his surprise. 

That’s when Haruhi smiled and Kaoru’s heart fluttered like it did when she looked cute. He instantly clamped down on the feeling and tried to swallow it down. He wasn’t going to allow himself to continue his crush on Haruhi. It was for his sake as well as Hikaru’s. 

He remembered what Kyoya said the night he came out to Kyoya. He had said it was perfectly fine to be attracted to him as well as Haruhi. Again, Kaoru felt guilty and Hikaru’s outburst pointing out that it wasn’t fair for Kaoru to have both still weighed heavily on his mind. Whenever Hikaru acted out of anger, he would say things that he really didn’t mean. Yet, Hikaru was unashamedly honest when he wanted to be and Kaoru was without a doubt that Hikaru meant what he said.

“I think you guys should go home and rest.” Haruhi said pulling away from Hikaru. “I hope after Tamaki’s slept on it, he will reverse his decision.”

“I hope so too. Hopefully, he won’t kick us out.”

“He won’t,” Haruhi smiled.

“He said he needed us.” Kaoru added.

“Besides, like you said, you guys really didn’t do anything that bad.” Haruhi chuckled. “You’re going to have to do something a lot more extreme to be kicked out.”

Kaoru and Hikaru glanced at each other.

“It wasn’t an invitation to try either.” Haruhi scolded.

“Yes, Haruhi. Of course!” The twins reassured in unison.

She shook her head and began pushing the two out the door. “I’ve got to change and so do you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I don't need to mention it but . . . this was edited by me, so there could be some typos I've missed or weird sections. Thank you for your patience and have a great day.


	5. "He's a pain in the ass and hard to get along with."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up. It's ya girl coming at you with an entire chapter of Kyoya POV. I wanted to have an alternating POV, but alas, there was too much story/text. This chapter is shorter than usual because of how I had to divide the text up. Next chapter will be hella long and will only be in Kaoru's perspective. Also get ready for come SICK TIME JUMPS.
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy this one! (also thank you for ~150 hits!)  
> Update: tumblr! Catch me at anxtheroliveinthehouse (https://anxtheroliveinthehouse.tumblr.com/) for everything else! Requests will be opening soon!

Kyoya sat in front of his laptop while listening to Tamaki. Tamaki wasn’t sure what he wanted to do in regards to the twins. It left Kyoya struggling to comprehend Tamaki’s ideas. Kyoya hid his calculating mind behind a book as he leaned into his couch nonchalantly. Tamaki had two ideas he was set on while the rest were way too expensive, too complicated, or too harsh. Or a combination of all three. Kyoya looked over his book to the laptop screen sitting on his coffee table. Tamaki was in his bed shirtless with a pair of earbuds dangling limply from his ears.

“Kyoya, this is stupid.” Tamaki huffed a little too close to the microphone in his earbuds.

“You were the one to suggest it.”

Tamaki groaned and covered his face with his hands. “I know. I didn’t want to really punish them. I guess I used tonight as an excuse to get them to do something . . .”

Kyoya heard the uncertainty in Tamaki’s voice as he trailed off. “Yes?”

“I want their so-called punishment to something they do alone. Something fun for both, something they don’t share, I think — Kyoya!”

Kyoya dropped the book onto his lap and stared directly into the camera, “What?”

“You understand what I’m trying to do right? I think I have the perfect idea!”

Kyoya wanted to go to bed, a rare occasion for him. It was three in the morning after a pretty large club event that he had planned for the entirety of five weeks in total. In fact, he started planning even before Tamaki was set on the idea and announced it to the club. Then, the setup on Thursday and Friday which he was extremely grateful for Kaoru’s help. It had left Kyoya exhausted. Yet, Tamaki seemed to be functioning as usual as if he hadn’t been dancing non-stop for two hours just mere hours ago.

“I understand, but really what do you want them to do? Please,” Kyoya begged sarcastically, “Tell me. I’m dying of anticipation.”

“Why don’t we have them do more work for the host club!” Tamaki sat up from his bed excitedly. “I can take Kaoru and you can take Hikaru.”

Kyoya didn’t like this plan. Though, he kept his mouth shut in the meantime.

“I know Hikaru is really good with tech, I mean they both are. But, doesn’t Hikaru enjoy it more? He could be really useful in assisting you for a week.”

Kyoya nodded, again opting for silence until the president was done.

“Kaoru.” Tamaki spoke. “Kaoru. What does he like to do?”

“He likes designing clothes,” Kyoya finally spoke. “I haven’t seen much of his work, but I’ve heard from his mother that he shows talent for it.”

“Really?” Tamaki sounded surprised. “I thought they both did that.”

“They do.” Kyoya pushed his sliding glasses back up. “They have designed stuff for the host club before. However, Hikaru is very much disinterested while Kaoru seems to be passionate about it. Though, he’s never really done it on his own before.”

Tamaki’s face lit up. He rubbed his hands together and instantly jumped up. He grabbed his laptop to take Kyoya wherever he was going. “This is perfect! Hikaru and Kaoru as our assistants! I thought I’d never see the day!”

Kyoya watched Tamaki descend the stairs, “You know we should be careful.”

“How so?” Tamaki asked and sat down the laptop. He looked down to what Kyoya believed to be a drawer. Tamaki shuffled through the contents haphazardly and pulled out a notebook and pen.

“Knowing Hikaru, at least. There would be some major issues with him intentionally trying to ruin the plan. Kaoru is just as capable of doing the same.” Kyoya stated.

Tamaki shrugged and continued to write. “Well, they should know by know how stubborn I am. I don’t give up easily.”

Kyoya smirked but hid it behind the book as he began to read it again. “No, you don’t.”

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.

Kyoya woke to the sun streaming in through his windows. He grabbed his phone to check the time. It was around ten in the morning, still too early for him. He rolled back onto his back but kept his phone in hand as he looked up to the vaulted ceiling over his bed. His eyes slid shut again, but his mind was too awake to drift back into wonderfully peaceful unconsciousness. Not to mention, Kaoru had texted him about an hour ago. Kyoya really wanted to see what he said.

He brought the phone extremely close to his face to be able to see the texts without his glasses.

Kaoru: _I hope our punishment isn’t too bad ;)_

Kaoru: _Can I get a good word in with the VP to lessen my sentence?_

Kyoya rolled his eyes. _Absolutely not._

Kaoru: _Awe :( Pretty please_

Kyoya: _It’s really not that bad. Though, I can’t say how you’d feel being Tamaki’s “assistant”_

Kaoru: _NOOooOooOoOOoOoOooo_

Kyoya: _Well, our president as made up his mind. I get to have Hikaru as my assistant and you as Tamaki’s_

Kaoru: _Tamaki must be blind to not see how much you hate Hikaru_

Kyoya: _I don’t hate anyone_

Kaoru: _then you very much don’t like him_

Kyoya thought about what his next response was going to be, though Kaoru was typing and said something before Kyoya.

Kaoru: _idk care if you don’t like him. He’s a pain in the ass and hard to get along with_

It amused Kyoya. _I won’t disagree_

Kyoya didn’t see Kaoru start typing again so he decided to get up. He still needed to find those damn cufflinks. He used to have multiple sets for different occasions but between his sister moving everything around and his own wear and tear, his collection had diminished considerably. There was also a small list of people who have either lost or broke his cufflinks. And guess what, Tamaki was on both. And sadly enough, Kyoya’s last pair of cufflinks were his favorite. They were a pair his father had gifted him on his thirteenth birthday. They were gold plated and had a black face with the Ootori name in the middle. Along the edges of the face was an intricate design. All of the Ootori sons had a pair like Kyoya’s except the designs around the sides were different. It was done so to distinguish each pair and who it belonged to. Kyoya’s were braided and intertwining rose stems that ended in a bud of a blooming rose. Yuuichi’s pair was similar, it contained what looked like the leaves from a damask pattern. It was much more traditional and formal than Kyoya’s, however. Akito’s pair were the complete opposite and had a very straight lined, geometric pattern around the edge.

It bothered Kyoya to lose them. Afterall, it was as thoughtful of a gift as Yoshio was capable of and Kyoya really liked them from an aesthetic perspective. Yet, it wasn’t too big of a deal since he could always have them remade or buy a new pair. Objects weren’t what was important to Kyoya and despite the cufflinks having more importance than any other pair, they were still just cufflinks.

As long as his father didn’t notice . . . Kyoya knew he’d probably notice, but there was still some time left to find them.

Kyoya heard a knock at the door as he was rummaging through his drawers for fourth time looking for the cufflinks. He called whoever was at the door to come in. He didn’t look up right away and it wasn’t until he saw the shoes did he raise his head. He had the strangest sensation wash over him as he looked up to the eldest Ootori son, Yuuichi. He looked as he always did. He stood up straight, arms crossed over his chest as he observed Kyoya. He’s hair was swept to the side neatly and his clothing was just as pristine. A pair of glasses similar to Kyoya’s perched on his nose. His wedding band shone on his ring finger and caught Kyoya’s eye.

“Nii-san,” Kyoya greeted.

Yuuichi’s smile was amiable yet his posture was closed. Kyoya could see that his older brother was uncomfortable.

“What on Earth are you doing, Kyo-kun?”

Kyoya frowned at the name his older brothers placed on him. “I’ve lost something.”

Yuuichi’s mouth quirked upwards. He turned to lean on the dresser that Kyoya was searching through. “What did you lose?”

Kyoya didn’t answer right away. Instead, he pulled one of his nice watches out of his pants drawer. It was hidden under the wads of clothing that had been hastily stuffed back in about a week ago.

“My cufflinks,” Kyoya murmured as he sat the watch onto the top of the dresser.

Yuuichi cocked his head. “Why are your drawers so messy?”

Kyoya wanted to ask him why he was even here, why was he asking questions, why was he even talking to Kyoya? How long had it been since Yuuichi actually spoke to Kyoya directly? Kyoya sat back on his heels pausing his movements as he thought. Four? No, five years. Five years since Yuuichi even said his name in front of him.

“I believe our dear sister decided to reorganize my things again.” Kyoya sighed.

Yuuichi chuckled, “Again?”

“Well, she liked to do so back when I was in middle school.” Kyoya explained getting out of the kneeling position he was in and facing Yuuichi. “Though, she swears she hasn’t been here since Akito’s birthday, or something like that.”

Yuuichi’s look of confusion was all Kyoya needed to see to confirm that Fuyumi had, in fact, been at the Ootori estate since Akito’s birthday.

“Well, if you’re too busy, then I’ll leave you to find your cufflinks. However, I do want to talk to you.”

This was down right suspicious. Kyoya half-wondered if his father had something to do with the impromptu visit.

“I can talk. The cufflinks can wait.” Kyoya brushed off his pant legs and mirrored Yuuichi’s crossed arms.

Yuuichi nodded. “I spoke with Father about you. About your future.”

Kyoya inwardly sighed.

“I was surprised to hear your decision.”

“My decision?”

“Yes,” Yuuichi said letting a small amount of surprise color his voice, “He’s under the impression that you don’t want to work for the Ootori group whatsoever.”

Kyoya shrugged, “I haven’t made a permanent decision, yet.”

Yuuichi picked up on Kyoya’s suspicion and wariness to give a firm answer. Though, Kyoya had made it clear in his tone that he had a decision in mind, it just wasn’t ready to be revealed. “Well, whatever you decide to do, I’ll support you.”

Kyoya’s body tensed against his will. This new sensation he was having then was way more intense and unnerving than the one he had when Yuuichi walked into the room. When did his brother care this much? Thankfully, it seemed that Kyoya’s sudden and quick drop of his guard was not picked up by Yuuichi. Kyoya hastily built himself back up and regained control.

“I came here of my own volition. I’m not angry or disappointed. I was actually glad when I heard since you were really the only competition I’ve ever had.” Yuuichi continued.

Kyoya was experiencing all kinds of emotional whiplash. He hoped that it didn’t show especially since he was still trying to recover from Yuuichi’s declaration of support. He shook his head, “I don’t want to compete with you. I’ve never wanted to.”

“No?” It was Yuuichi who shrugged. “Whether or not you wanted to, our father was at one point seriously considering it. He was pleased with you after Grand Tonnerre, though he did interpret it as you forgoing the position.”

He had obtained his father’s attention by buying out Grand Tonnerre’s offer and taking the Ootori group for his own only to give back to Yoshio. Of course, this had caused quite a stir in the Ootori home. It had been the first time Kyoya’s father had realized that his youngest son had a great deal of potential and could do more than he realized. Yuuichi had been impressed, while unsurprisingly Akito annoyed. Kyoya had seen his father the day after the Ouran fair and saw pride in his eyes. Though, Kyoya didn’t allow himself to really believe that his father was anything but indifferent. Afterall, Yoshio was a great actor.

Kyoya swallowed the lump in his throat. A big ball of emotions were threatening to spill out of his mouth. Sadness, happiness, anger, disbelief, elation, anxiety. 

He must have let his inner turmoil slip again as Yuuichi immediately began backpedalling. “I don’t mean to alarm you. I suppose I came to inform you so you can be prepared for whatever he decides to do next. Though, in terms of what you want to do with your future, he told me that he wants to help you as I do.”

Yuuichi pulled his glasses off his face and allowed a moment to pass as he carefully wiped his glasses with the small cloth he produced from his pocket. “However, there are caveats. You’ve already surpassed his expectations of you and he wants you to continue pushing forward. He wants to see just how far you’ll go before he retires in whatever you do. Though, that doesn’t mean he’s _not_ going to try to entice you back to the family business.”

“I don’t think he wants me to reconsider.” Kyoya stated solemnly.

Kyoya let his arms down and he shuffled to the couch to sit down. He felt as if he’d have more control over his body if he didn’t have to think so much about trying to keep himself upright. Yuuichi followed him.

“It’s your choice.” Yuuichi assured. “Though, I would like to have someone as talented as you around even if you don't want a particular position.”

Kyoya was focusing heavily on keeping his face as blank as possible. He was certain he was shaking and he knew it was from anger.

“Of course, that’s me speaking solely as a businessman. As your older brother, I would say do what you want. You have been granted a lot more freedom. I strongly recommend you to do what you’re passionate about.”

Kyoya nodded curtly and kept his mouth shut. As soon as Yuuichi left, he grabbed the nearest thing to him and threw it. He heard the sound of glass shattering and with a sinking feeling, he realized that what he had thrown was the tablet that Kaoru gave him. Instead of letting the maelstrom of feelings that had just taken over consume him completely, he marched himself up the stairs to his laptop on his bed and immediately dove head first into work whether it be school work or club-related. He had to distract himself from Yuuichi’s words. 

Kyoya knew it was insane to be upset. It wasn’t like he hated being supported by his family or that he was ungrateful for the opportunity to work with his brothers. It was the fact that Kyoya worked so hard to show he had let go of his obsession and that he wasn’t happy jumping through hoops for his father. He would have been completely trapped if he hadn’t, stuck painting within the tight confines of what his brother’s _hadn’t_ done. Kyoya didn’t want to be under his brothers nor did he want to climb over them. And while Kyoya was glad Yuuichi recognized he wanted to do more than be with the Ootori group, it was upsetting to see that his father hadn’t cared. Yuuichi didn’t understand as he wasn’t following Kyoya as closely, yet Kyoya had felt the urge to take his frustration out on him. Kyoya immediately smothered the burning, red-hot coals starting to take flame.

Kyoya shouldn’t have been surprised. Of course his father would want to keep him close. Kyoya knew that showing his best trick at the time was a risk and for the most part, it paid off. While Kyoya had since gotten better and more strategic at avoiding or manipulating his father’s games, this new development meant more work trying to keep his father’s hand out of his life. The worst part was Kyoya didn’t know what to do next. He didn’t know what his father would do either. It was going to take some time to just think and come up with a plan. Yoshio wasn’t going to go easy on him, that much is certain.

In another line of thought, he admitted his father wasn’t as cold-blooded as he sometimes acted. He loved his children in his own way. It was hard for others to understand even that much, but it was even more crazy that Kyoya loved him still. Even with his quick-pace, high standards, and strictness, Kyoya had always found it within himself to forgive him. Because of Kyoya’s feelings, it made it so much more distressing when Yoshio played with his childrens’ lives. Even with the very rare moments when Yoshio offered positive reinforcement, as Kyoya had gotten older, he noticed more and more how manipulative his father could be. Everything was planned and performed to elicit some sort of response out his children, bending their wills to match their own. It wasn’t hard to see how suffocating it was to be an Ootori son.

Kyoya had equated being an Ootori to being caged. He was caged by his father’s expectations, the family’s reputation, and everything and everyone else who placed some sort of value on that name. Even he did distance himself from his family, his past and background would always follow him. Now, he was stuck with an impossible ultimatum. He could either continue on being free or stay within that cage. He wanted to uphold the family name, he loved his family, and sadly enough, it had been ingrained within him to want to make his father proud. Yet, deciding to not choose the Ootori group meant that his father could shut him out. He wouldn’t be able to see his mother, brothers, or sister again. He would probably lose all forms of support by anyone associated with the Ootori’s. And even though he was the mostly hidden and unheard of youngest Ootori son, it didn’t mean that Yoshio won’t cut every tie Kyoya had. Unlike his brothers, Kyoya never had eyes on him, mostly unthought of in the media and the public. In actuality, he could do what he wanted without harming the reputation and integrity of the family business, yet his father would still cut him down just to punish him.

It was clear to Kyoya as he finished his last bit of Calculus II homework that Yoshio was going to ask. It wouldn’t necessarily be the same way he did at the Ouran fair, yet it was still the same question: are you going to choose your friends or your family? 

The question was soul crushing for Kyoya. To Kyoya, the host club wasn’t just friends. They were family. Perhaps, a better family than his actual one. They didn’t expect anything of him and would do anything for him without strings attached. He wouldn’t ever tell them that, of course. Especially not Tamaki because it might just inflate his ego too much. He already had a pretty big head. Anyhow, asking Kyoya to choose between the two was hard. Kyoya had already made the decision once. He wholeheartedly choose his friends, and he would do it again, even with the more permanent and terrible consequences this time. 

Even though Kyoya knew what his answer was, there was still a storm raging within him. The internal conflict was probably what Yoshio was hoping for. Kyoya wouldn’t be surprised if this was orchestrated by his father with or without Yuuichi being in on it. Kyoya was well aware of how much his father could read him. At least, that was until he had pulled the Grand Tonnerre stunt last school year. From then on, there was an element of unpredictability. Yoshio was not a fan of it because not being able to predict what your competitor’s next move meant the downfall of your company. Kyoya was turning into a wild card that Yoshio couldn’t accurately predict or control. Kyoya supposed that’s what it was all about anyways; control. 

Then, there was the head of the Ootori zaibatsu, the position that Kyoya had been yearning for most of his life. It was his obsession to do better than his brothers without tearing them down, proving to his father that he was the true heir to the business. After all Kyoya had learned since Tamaki’s arrival, it made it him feel empty when he thought about it. He was sure that being head of the group wouldn’t make him happy. Though, if his father did give him the position, would he turn it down? Kyoya had a few ideas beginning to form in his head to turn the tables on his father. Maybe he might not turn it down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I got to say is yikes for this cliffhanger. 
> 
> Minimal editing lol.


	6. "Easy there, I was only joking."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, there may be some further editing of this chapter! This really isn't up to my standard of quality but it will do as an update to this story!
> 
> ANYWAYS I am back once again for spoopy szn. Did you miss me? I have finally finished this chapter, yay! I have a lot of the story further on already written and it's just these in between/transition parts I have to do which is really bogging down the writing. I'm much more excited for the events later on in the plot, but right now it's just me dragging my ass and trying to get through school. Sorry. Also, I realize for the last few chapters I'm like "get ready for some time jumps" and then they never happen (lol), but I realize using a time jump right away in this story would be lazy, so it will have to wait until a unspecified chapter number.
> 
> With all that out of the way, enjoy this unedited and erratic chapter that is *slightly* longer than usual (and shorter than promised, but hey you can't always get what you want in life).
> 
> Update: tumblr! Catch me at anxtheroliveinthehouse (https://anxtheroliveinthehouse.tumblr.com/) for everything else! Requests will be opening soon!

“You broke it?”Kaoru took in the destruction of Kyoya’s tablet.

  
Kaoru’s voice came out too high and strained, almost like he was whining about the bent tablet. He shook his head, he didn’t mean the tone of voice. Hopefully, Kyoya could see it.

  
He turned to Kyoya then, who put on a face of stoicism and carelessness. Despite his uncaring demeanor, Kaoru knew something was rushing just below the surface. Kyoya was trying to hide it and Kaoru was confused as to why. He couldn’t wrap his brain around the fact that Kyoya had broken the tablet in the first place.

“I apologize for breaking it. I will pay you back in full with interest.” Kyoya said robotically.

  
Kaoru inwardly sighed. This wasn’t normal for Kyoya. He knew Kyoya could be an asshole, but he wasn’t expecting it then. It sounded like Kyoya was just going through the motions of apologizing. He sounded professional, but also gave off the air that he wasn’t the least bit concerned nor did he care how insincere the apology was. It sounded like a classical, passive-aggressive technique passed down the Ootori family line for generations. It was too cool and had too much bite to it all the same.

  
“What happened?” It was quiet and soft. Kaoru didn’t want to sound too accusatory and harsh. Not like he could sound that way since his voice was not like Hikaru’s.

  
Kyoya didn’t say anything. It hurt deep in Kaoru’s chest because there was something wrong and Kyoya wasn’t being so forthcoming. He understood that maybe it wasn’t his business. It wasn’t like he should have exclusive access to everything in Kyoya’s private life, but the broken tablet was out of character for Kyoya and Kaoru wanted to know why. He wished Kyoya would be honest with him. He thought that maybe after all this time there wouldn’t be anything that Kyoya wouldn’t tell him. Yet, he cursed his stupidity for even believing that. Kyoya was taught to be composed, uncaring, and unrelenting; they were all bad habits that he couldn’t shake off so easily. It was his quote-en-quote natural state. It was his go-to skin and his armor.

  
“I threw it.”

“Obviously,” Kaoru barked out a nervous laugh, “You can’t really bend a tablet in half by dropping it alone.”

Kyoya didn’t say anything again and it caused Kaoru’s stomach to flip. It wasn’t weighed down anymore, feeling more like Kaoru was free falling. It wasn’t the good kind of weightlessness either.

“I’m not mad about the tablet, Kyoya.” Kaoru reassured.

Kyoya stood so still, his breathing was slow and even, and his face was perfectly tailored to resemble a look of boredom. Kaoru reached for Kyoya’s hand. He could tell, then, just by taking his hand how tense he was. As much as Kyoya tried to make it limp, it was trying to curl itself back into a fist. Kaoru followed up his forearm finding more straining tendons. Once Kaoru reached Kyoya’s shoulders, he gasped at how rigid they were. Kaoru thought Kyoya’s body was trying to keep itself together, straining to keep whatever emotion was inside him. Kaoru didn’t want it to rip Kyoya up.

Kaoru led Kyoya to his bed and sat him down. He still had his hands on Kyoya’s shoulders, barely touching them. He wasn’t certain on how much pressure Kyoya could handle so he kept it light and unrestricting.

“Is this okay?”

Kyoya nodded.

Kaoru sat down next Kyoya and laid flat on his back. He stretched his legs out resting the weight of legs rest on the backs of his heels. He was going to wait like that, until Kyoya said something. It didn’t have to be anything related to what Kyoya was upset about. It had to be a reassurance to Kaoru that despite how badly it was affecting Kyoya, he would get through it.

Kyoya laid down as well. Kaoru watched Kyoya for anything, yet his guard was still up. He looked unconcerned while his body showed otherwise. Kaoru wanted to say more, but his words evaded him. He was usually good at describing or explaining. He loved language and he had a vast number of words at his disposal in many languages. Yet, he couldn’t find where to start or what words to use to describe what he was feeling. He was picturing a blackhole where he was pulling in Kyoya’s sadness, his grief, his anger and it was compiling into a dense, heavy lump in Kaoru. He was being empathetic, that was the word. His empathy was drawing in the negative energy that was radiating off of Kyoya. If only he was like Hikaru who had no awareness of others, maybe he could be less worrisome and more carefree. Any kind of radiating emotion would just hit him and slide off like rain off a window.

Kyoya turned to Kaoru. Kaoru could see more of what he was feeling playing out on his face, uncertainty rising above all of the others .

“Do you trust me?”

“What?” It knocked Kaoru off his game.

“Do you trust me?” Kyoya repeated slower.

Well of course he did. Kaoru didn’t understand why Kyoya asked. He had already entrusted a lot of himself to Kyoya.

“Yeah?”

Kyoya gave him a very short and small smile. Kyoya was still tense, but at least he was more open to Kaoru. “I’m glad.”

Kaoru didn’t like seeing Kyoya in pain. It was painful to watch him try to be nonchalant about what was bothering him. Kaoru wanted Kyoya to tell him what was happening. Why was he so angry? He had never seen Kyoya act out emotionally, _never_. To see him struggling to keep his composure made Kaoru want to soothe and comfort him. He wanted to smooth the frown lines away and hold Kyoya close. Unfortunately, it felt too much like he was overstepping his boundaries. He couldn’t force Kyoya to spill his problems nor could he hold Kyoya close as he wanted to simply because he didn’t have Kyoya’s permission. For all Kaoru knew, Kyoya might not want him there. He could have been more stressed continuing to act like nothing's wrong for Kaoru, making Kaoru the biggest source of discomfort.

“Do you want me to leave?” Kaoru asked. “I understand if it’s too much trouble having me here.”

Kyoya hesitated to answer. All Kaoru could see from his expression was his pain, it intensified. It didn’t belong on Kyoya’s face. It would probably make people uncomfortable and extremely apprehensive to see the agonizing and intense expression written in Kyoya’s features. He kept his guard up around people so much and so well that he could have fooled them into thinking he was nothing but a calculating robot. Except, he most certainly wasn’t and Kaoru didn’t want to see that expression on Kyoya simply because Kyoya didn’t deserve to be unhappy. Kaoru couldn’t live knowing Kyoya suffered. He was happy when Kyoya was, and by default, he wasn’t able to be happy or content when

Kyoya was distressed.

“No,” Kyoya breathed. “Don’t.”

Kaoru nodded and took deep breaths to keep his anxiety at bay. “Then, I won’t.”

Kyoya rolled towards Kaoru and rested his head on his hand. He was very close, perhaps ten centimeters away. Kaoru was able to see the small imperfections, the slight smudges in Kyoya’s glasses, and Kaoru could smell his subtly alluring cologne that being so close allowed Kaoru a small waft of it.. It wasn’t strong like Kaoru’s cologne. Even then, Kaoru wouldn’t even call his strong or overpowering, but Kyoya’s was modest by comparison.

“If you’re wondering why I asked whether or not you trusted me,” Kyoya began, “It’s because I’m predicting things to take a turn for the worse.”

Kaoru wanted Kyoya to clarify what ‘things’ were. His face scrunched up and Kyoya noticed.

“I . . . don’t really talk about my family much, partly because I don’t need to. Right now, there’s a lot of tension between us. Specifically, me and my father.”

Kaoru placed his hand on top of Kyoya’s right hand, the one laying limply in front of his stomach. Kaoru squeezed his hand twice hoping the two quick pulses would convey he was open to more discussion and offering support. Kyoya stayed quiet while the thoughts ran wild through his head. Kaoru swore he could see the misty edges of them as they flashed in his eyes.

“When isn’t there?”Kyoya joked about the tension. He closed his eyes and rubbed them with a deft motion under his glasses. He let them fall back into place slightly askew.

Kaoru fought every fiber in his being to keep from frowning. He had to keep his own emotions out of this. Though, he couldn’t stop reaching out and brushing his fingers over the side of Kyoya’s face. He, very gently, fixed Kyoya’s glasses. Kyoya smiled and Kaoru’s fingers brushed over the corner of his upturned mouth.

“I’m glad I have you.” Kyoya admitted.

Kaoru flushed. If he were to admit something like that, something equally sentimental and exposing, he would’ve probably hid his face. Kyoya, on the other hand, faced Kaoru directly. He wasn’t afraid to let Kaoru see deeper into his tired eyes. Kaoru imagined Kyoya wasn’t opposed to letting Kaoru know how he was feeling, maybe he was opposed to what Kaoru might see within Kyoya, as if it might scare him away. Kyoya knew better, but maybe it was his vulnerable state that made him more wary of unloading everything onto Kaoru’s shoulders. He must need Kaoru’s quiet company then, so much that he couldn’t risk driving Kaoru away with the gory details.

Kaoru understood that with all families of their statue, there was some form of skeletons in the closet. While Hikaru and Kaoru had been blessed with a relatively clean family history, that didn’t mean the Ootori siblings were as lucky. Kaoru could only imagine what Yoshio-san had them keep to themselves, if they had seen anything or heard something. He could only imagine what Yoshio-san himself had to keep secret. When it came to old money, you inherited your father’s sins, it was that simple.

“Don’t be so fond.” Karou muttered. “It’s disgusting.”

Kyoya kept his smile and closed his eyes again.

“I want to help you,” Kaoru felt another wave of aching pain fill his chest, “and I don’t know how.”

Kyoya shook his head and reached out to Kaoru. His arms were open in clear invitation of what Kyoya wanted. Kaoru settled in them, pressed chest to chest with Kyoya.

“This is helping,” Kyoya breathed. “Don’t worry too much about me.”

“Kyoya, I can’t stop worrying about you.”

Kyoya groaned and buried his face into Kaoru’s neck. Kaoru felt himself blush and cursed his bodily reactions. This wasn’t the time nor the place for him to get flustered, especially since Kyoya wasn’t holding him for any sexual or romantic reasons.

“I don’t want you to worry,” Kyoya began, “ I don’t want to burden you, you have enough to worry about already. If anything, I want to lift those weights off your shoulders so you wouldn’t have to worry about anything anymore.”

“Not being worried at all is bad, you know.”

Kyoya made a small questioning sound.

Kaoru sighed, “I guess . . . that’s how I show my love. I worry for those who I care about. I do things for them without being asked and I want to keep them safe . . . and happy. If I don’t worry, then it means I don’t care.”

Kaoru felt Kyoya’s light breathing against his sensitive neck and swallowed the arousal before it grew any further.

“I realize how self-sacrificial I am,” he continued, “You’re the same way. We always give up what we have for those we love. I know you had eyes for Haruhi, you can’t tell me otherwise. I remember what you said the night I asked you if you had any feelings for Tamaki or anyone else. You said you never did, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t have been attracted to them. Haruhi is special, not only is she cute, but she has a personality to match. It would be foolish not to at least try with her. But you decided to let her go so that Tamaki could be happy, or at least had the opportunity to be happy with her. The same way I did for Hikaru.”

Kyoya didn’t correct him or argue otherwise. He listened to Kaoru soft voice and relaxed into Kaoru further.

“However, there’s one thing I want to be selfish with. One person I’d never give away.”

Kyoya pulled away from Kaoru’s neck to look into his face. Kaoru could see the intensity in his expression and felt Kyoya’s grip become tighter on his body. Even with the mere centimeters between them it felt like Kyoya’s mouth was too far away from his. They both began leaning into each other, so close to crashing like waves against a rocky coast. It probably would have felt just as magnificent as watching the foamy white waves as they rushed against dark stone during a storm if it weren’t for the loud and rapid series of knocks on Kyoya’s door.

“ _Young master?_ ” A muffled voice called beyond the door. “ _Master Hitachiin’s chauffeur has arrived to collect him_.”

“Yes, thank you Hotta. He’ll be out in a moment.”

If looks could kill, Kaoru was sure the expression Kyoya wore would do the job. After his attention was diverted for those few seconds, a calmer Kyoya looked to Kaoru again disappointed.

“Looks like it’s time to go.”

Kaoru frowned. He slowly sat up and Kyoya let him. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help today.”

Kyoya took one of his hand and squeezed, “You helped more than you realize.”

Kaoru must of looked unsure, so Kyoya took the hand he had squeezed and kissed it. It was a simple gesture, one Kaoru had seen Tamaki do ten thousand times to all of his clients. It seemed very superfluous and overused. A romantic motion that has been around for centuries that didn’t hold that much value in Kaoru’s eyes, until then. Kyoya’s lips were soft and pressed lightly on his knuckles. Kaoru wished he could have felt what it was like to have Kyoya’s soft lips on his own. The thought left him extremely frustrated that this was how their meeting had turned out.

“Thank you for being patient.” Kyoya said. “I really am sorry for breaking the tablet.”

“It’s alright. It’s just an object. As long as you didn’t murder anyone, we’re fine.”

Kyoya chuckled and sat up as well. He helped Kaoru gather his things and walked him to the door. On their way to the foyer, they past the family den and Kaoru caught a glimpse of Yoshio having a cup of tea. Across from him sat Akito. Kaoru grimaced. Akito also noticed him and Kyoya’s departure and scowled at Kaoru. The feelings were mutual. The walk, though, was too short and Kaoru wanted to hang on to those last few moments he could spend with Kyoya. He wished he could steal a kiss then and there, but it was too much of a risk. In fact, they didn’t do or say anything that would give away what had just happened before Hotta came knocking on Kyoya’s door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Kaoru said slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“Of course,”

“Well,” Kaoru opened the large door to see the family car waiting in the curved driveway, “I’m off.”

“Be careful,” Kyoya whispered.

Kaoru flashed a coy smile and slipped through the door. Once it closed and he could only hear the sound of the SUV’s rumbling engine and his footsteps on the pavement, he felt his heart sink. He was worried about Kyoya, even with Kyoya’s reassurances. He wanted to stay longer.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
The ride home took much longer than usual. Kaoru was wrapped in his negative feelings and thoughts, and they seemed to make the time it took to return home much stretch slower and slower. He found himself pulling at the loose threads of his ripped jeans nervously. He watched as he pulled and unraveled the material further. He couldn’t take his mind off Kyoya’s cold manner and how the tablet looked. God, how hard did he throw that thing? He didn’t know how he was supposed to explain it to his parents or what to do with it until he could explain what happened. Kaoru buried his face in his hands thinking that he’d probably have to get Hikaru involved.

When the car finally arrived at the Hitachiin residence and the vehicle was completely pulled into the large garage, Kaoru jumped out and rushed inside, not bothering to say anything into the family chauffeur like he usually would. He only had one place in mind that he wanted and needed to be. It was the only place he could recharge and hopefully be able to sort through his thoughts.

He located Hikaru in the den playing a new game on their shared PlayStation. Kaoru immediately crumpled beside Hikaru and formed a ball.

“Are you alright?” Hikaru asked, eyes not even leaving the screen.

“I’m alright enough.” Kaoru said. “I’m just worried.”

“About what?”

It was particularly gory sequence, not to mention complex, that Hikaru was running through in his game. Kaoru winced at the amount of decapitations onscreen. It seemed Hikaru found his favorite combo and stuck to it religiously. This version of the game was not available in Japan for its level of gore. Only the Hitachiins would have access to those releases of violent video games.

Kaoru didn’t want to say why he was worried. It was private between him and Kyoya. Instead, he said, “Finals.”

Hikaru snorted, “Liar.”

Kaoru heaved a heavy sigh, but didn’t ever say what he was worried about. Hikaru quickly forgot about it anyways. While Hikaru was preoccupied with a particularly tedious and annoyingly powerful boss, Kaoru let his mind empty out and rest. He closed his eyes to block out the intense and disturbing visuals in front of him, he could manage the loud sounds of gunshots and whip-like sound from Hikaru’s in-game melee weapon. The two stayed cuddled together on the couch until their parents got home from their respective offices just an hour later. The twins could hear their father arriving first, rustling around in the kitchen for a snack before dinner. Not too long after, their mother arrived and they could hear the two bickering about the aforementioned snack. It didn’t last long as they began discussing something in low tones so that their sons didn’t hear from the den. Both Hikaru and Kaoru tried to brace themselves for whatever was going to come next because anytime their parents spoke in such hushed words, it didn’t mean anything good for them.

“Boys!” Their father called from the kitchen. _Oh, no_. “Pause your game and come to the dining room for a moment. We have something to tell you!”

Hikaru groaned and complained about it. Though, he did stand and help Kaoru out of his tight fetal position he contorted his body into. The two drifted into the kitchen, Kaoru still trying to shake off staying in such an odd position for a long period of time and Hikaru looking annoyed out of his mind, but their parents had already moved into the dining room. The twins went through the doorway and sat directly across from their parents at the table. Before them laid were the usual table décorations their mother liked to use; a table runner, place mats, a few modest centerpieces (ones that were in the current trends of interior design), and a large bouquet their father got for their mother every few days or so.

“We have exciting news for you two. We weren’t really sure when to tell you this,” Yuzuha began and a beaming smile broke out onto her face. She looked to her husband to continue.

He caught her gaze and nodded, “We’ve been discussing it for a while.”

“Hmm-mm,” Their mother agreed, “And we didn’t necessarily ask the two of you before we made a decision because, well . . . accidents happen.”

The giggle that came out of their mother was very odd, it was tense with her uncertainty but it was something she did when she was particularly happy about something. The twins shared an apprehensive look with each other before turning back to their parents.

“What did you do?” Hikaru and Kaoru asked in unison.

Their mother clasped her hands together with vigor. The bangle bracelets she had on clanked loudly with the movement.

“You’re going to have a little brother!”

There was a deadly silence that stretched out in the room, cavernous in size. The twins were completely frozen in place. Their mother was stuck in the closed-eyed smile with her hands clasped together and their father with a calm, well-mannered expression. No one moved for a few moments, the mood and atmosphere soured considerably.

“Or sister,” Their father chuckled trying to diffuse the tension, “it’s too early to tell, of course.”

“You’re pregnant?” Kaoru asked, trying to confirm. For whatever reason, the pieces weren’t all coming together like they should. It was a wrench thrown into the cogs of his mind. _What?_

“Yes, yes, yes!” Their mother exclaimed. “Aren’t you happy?!”

Hikaru fell backwards, chair and all, and crashed onto the floor. Kaoru was too much in shock to even help him. He tried pinching his thigh under the table to try to jump-start himself into action, but it didn’t work.

“This isn’t necessarily the response we were hoping for,” Yuzuha sounded extremely disappointed. “Please don’t be too mad.”

“Why would we be mad?” Hikaru asked from the floor.

“Well,” Yuzuha looked stumped, “I don’t know. Sometimes it’s hard to predict how you two are going to react.”

“We’re not mad,” Kaoru supplied, “Just surprised. You’re gonna have to give us some time.”

Yuzuha nodded slowly, and as she thought over it, her nods became more rapid. “Alright, alright. That’s fair.”

Their father didn’t look sure of his sons, but let them go with a slanted frown. He grabbed his wife’s hand and covered it with his own. She looked to him with a look of hope. _The boys will come around._

Kaoru stood and collected his brother. The two scampered off to their room to sit and think. _They were going to be older brothers?_ There’s no way that would have a good influence on their future younger sibling. Kaoru had several scenarios running through his head where one thing or another went wrong and they ended up accidentally murdering their younger sibling. His more rational side told him that he was being overdramatic.

Hikaru and Kaoru sat on their bed and held hands, much like when they were younger. It was still as grounding and comforting as it was when they were little, reminding Kaoru again how much the two didn’t like change.

“Hikaru?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

Hikaru paused yet his answer was sure. “Well, yeah?”

Kaoru nodded, “What’s . . . bothering you the most right now?”

“I can’t believe our parents still have sex.”

Kaoru’s head fell back on its own accord and with the world’s largest eyeroll and groan, he cried, “Hikaru!”

“I’m joking. Well, I’m being serious a little bit. I just can’t believe it,” Hikaru giggled.

Kaoru couldn’t believe it either, but he would have to roll with the punches as he always did. “Are you scared?”

“Are you?”

“In some ways, yes. Others, no.”

Hikaru nodded in turn. He carded his fingers through his hair, a habit of his when he was stressed. Kaoru saw it wasn’t stress exactly when he did it as he was hiding a smile.  
“I . . . want to be the best big brother ever.”

The tone was unexpected from Hikaru. The serious and most determined look that came from it was even more so. Kaoru turned to his brother and wondered who this guy was. He was most certainly not his twin. Hikaru’s look didn’t waver when Kaoru’s eyes met his.

“You mean that?” Kaoru leaned towards Hikaru.

Hikaru mirrored the position, “Hell yeah. Can you imagine how much fun this is going to be?”

Kaoru pulled away thinking. He never thought of it before. It made him realize that he hadn’t really thought about having kids whether they were his own or his parents. Though, Hikaru’s inspiring and infectious attitude helped change the tide his mind from one that was pessimistic to one that was optimistic. _Again, with the optimism? He really was changing._

“No,” Kaoru answered honestly.

Hikaru wrapped an arm wound his twin and held him, “Picture this: in a few years, she’s going to be old enough to start pulling pranks on her own. Of course, guided by us, the masters of our art. She’s going to be a Hitachiin and have two devilish, older twin brothers.”

“‘She?”” Kaoru smiled sweetly. “You hope for a girl?”

Hikaru instantly reddened, “Yeah, and? Do you want a boy instead?”

Kaoru shook his head and laughed, “I really don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl. It could be neither and I’d still be happy.”

Hikaru hid his face in Kaoru’s shoulder. “I’m scared. Which sounds stupid, but I don’t want her . . . or him to have the childhood we had.”

“As long as Mom’s not having another set of twins, I’m sure our sibling will be fine. Even then, there’s a possibility that the hypothetical twins wouldn’t have any trouble at all.”

Hikaru wrapped his arms around his brother and sighed, “I don’t want her to be lonely.”

It was a concern. However, that was years off. This child wasn’t even fully formed in the womb and they were worried about how he or she was going to be treated on the playground.

“We’re already overprotective,” Kaoru laughed.

Kaoru felt Hikaru smile on his shoulder and let his eyes close again.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
After a very awkward dinner, where the twins informed their mother about what they had discussed (which made her absolutely ecstatic), they retired to their room. Kaoru sent a quick text to Kyoya asking if he could video chat later that evening. Of course, the insomniac said yes. A very tired smile settled on Kaoru’s lips seeing the affirmative text on his phone’s screen. All he had to do was wait until Hikaru was asleep then sneak off to a guest bedroom to talk to Kyoya. To kill time, Kaoru did his homework with Hikaru until about eleven thirty. Once Hikaru’s head hit the pillow, he was out like a light. Kaoru shook his head at the quietly snoring lump in the middle of their bed.

Kaoru took his laptop to the guest bedroom across the hall and got comfy in the numerous throw pillows before texting Kyoya that he was ready. Within a few seconds he could see the grainy picture of the Shadow King begin to gain resolution once all the connections lined up. Kyoya was looking closer to normal which gave Kaoru relief.

“So,” Kyoya’s deep voice gave him shivers up and down his spine as the sound came through his headphones loud and clear, “You couldn’t stay away.”

Kaoru put on an overly cute frown, “I had something to tell you, but if you’re going to be like that . . .”

Kyoya chuckled and Kaoru was trying to make out what he was tracing with eyes off the screen. He looked like he might be reading something on the table next to his computer, “What’s the going-on’s in the Hitachiin household.”

Kaoru watched him bring a glass of water up to his mouth. Kyoya wasn’t paying much attention then, he kept his eyes on whatever he was working. Even though he was mesmerized by the way Kyoya’s adam’s apple bobbed with each sip, Kaoru didn’t enjoy the divided attention. Being the kind of asshole he was, he decided to come outright with the news.

“My mom’s pregnant.”

Kyoya instantly shot water out of his nose and was sent into a coughing fit. He hurriedly wiped all the surfaces off around him that were in the line of fire.

“What?” Kyoya choked.

“My mom,” Kaoru paused trying to hold a blank face, “Is pregnant.”

Kyoya frowned at his wet work and Kaoru felt pleased with a pinch of guilt. Kyoya pulled a few notebooks out, splattered with water and laid them out to dry.

“I wish I screenshot that,” Kaoru felt conflicting feelings rise within him. He had a part of him that wanted to annoy Kyoya to death like a preschooler trying to come to terms with his first crush. The other part was the mature one that felt bad for ruining Kyoya’s hard work, it went to work on eating Kaoru’s resolve to keep up the act. “I’m sorry.”

Kyoya was not amused, “Apology accepted.”

“I’m in a weird mood,” Kaoru explained honestly. “I did that purpose.”

Kyoya had turned in his seat, so Kaoru was looking at his side profile, trying to dry and put things away. Kyoya gave him a glance out of the corner of his eye that caught Kaoru’s breath. It was exasperated, though underneath the irritated veneer, there was heat and desire.

“I know. I’ll keep in mind that you prefer my full attention.”

Kaoru bit his lip and whispered, “Damn straight.”

Of course, Kyoya’s shoulders shook with mirth. There were seconds where nothing was said between them, but once Kyoya had finished cleaning up the mess, he turned to Kaoru. Kaoru was still there, large noise-cancelling headphones over his ears and shirtless.

“I can only imagine how excited Yuzuha-san is.” Kyoya commented. “But how do you feel?”

“Firstly, when did you become a shrink? And secondly, I feel great.”

Kyoya hummed. He wasn’t sold on Kaoru’s demeanor. “What does great feel like?”

Kaoru rolled his eyes. It was a mixture of emotions, none of them really identifiable by words except happiness, excitement, and hope. He felt light and relaxed when he thought about it. He even thought about how his little sibling might look. Would he or she have the rich auburn hair? The dark amber eyes? Would they have their mother’s sharp chin or their father’s pointed, upward-tilting nose? What would Kaoru make for them to wear?

He blushed intensely at the thought. It had been a while since he had gotten the urge to design something specific for someone. Recently, it had been Kyoya who took the role as his muse. However, at that moment he had a flood of ideas for really cute children’s clothing filling his head. He had plenty of experience with them since his mother had always liked designing children’s clothing, not to mention putting Hikaru and Kaoru in her designs and modelling them. Kaoru could see the bright colors, shaky shapes, and imaginative designs in his mind’s eye.

“I want to design clothes for them,” Kaoru said dumbly. It was completely off track, but he supposed Kyoya understood as he always did.

Kyoya put a hand to his chin, fingers covering his mouth. Kaoru saw the smile between them. “You’re going to spoil them?”

“No, Hikaru is going to spoil them. I’m not taking the blame.”

“Easy there, I was only joking.” Kyoya removed the hand and replaced his overly adoring smile with a mischievous one. “I do want to see how this turns out.”

“Of course, you do. You want to see either how well or how horrible this goes.”

“Kaoru, I doubt anything bad will happen.” Kyoya pushed his glasses up. “Between you and Hikaru, they’ll be well protected.”

Kaoru rubbed the back of his neck, “I hope so.”

Kyoya chuckled, resting his head on his hand. “You’ve had a pretty emotional day?”

Kaoru nodded, “Not just me, you too.”

“I-. . . Yeah, well I was upset because of something that happened a few days ago. Yuuichi tried to sit down and have a heart to heart with me.”

Kaoru was shocked. He didn’t expect the Ootori’s to do such things for each other, but at least Yuuichi-san tried?

“It only confirmed my suspicions,” Kyoya continued, “That’s why I said bad things would happen. I didn’t mean to alarm you.”

“No, I’m fine. It took me off ‒”

Kaoru saw movement in his peripheral and his eyes shot up. There in the doorway stood a shadowy figure. He reached for the bedside lamp, dousing the room in low, warm light. Hikaru stood unsure against the doorframe. Something was clearly bothering him. He looked pale and sick.

“Are you okay?” Kaoru asked him. His eyes flitted down to the screen to see a concerned Kyoya, thought they fell back onto Hikaru who came into the room.

“I’m sorry,” Hikaru mumbled, “I had a nightmare.”

“Oh, uh.” Kaoru looked to Kyoya again who nodded his head.

“If you need to go, go.”

“I’ll be back,” Kaoru said before setting his laptop off to the side and sliding out of bed. He met Hikaru at the door and guiding him gently back to their room. Hikaru was pliant and tired as Kaoru essentially tucked him back into bed. Kaoru kneeled on the floor next to Hikaru’s side and folded his arms under his head as they both regarded each other.

“What happened in your nightmare?”

Hikaru grimaced, “I was in a place, like in the middle of a city, but there were no buildings and no sky. There were people everywhere, it was packed shoulder to shoulder. It was enough to make me feel suffocated.”

Kaoru frowned while Hikaru looked away, clearly uncomfortable with what was happening in his head. He was probably seeing the nightmare playing on the back of his eyelids.

“The people had no faces. They were like walking mannequins made out of clay. What’s worse was that you weren’t there. I called out your name so many times, but you didn’t respond. I tried to run to find you and get out of the crowd, but the further I went the more people there were. Eventually, it got to the point where there wasn’t any room. I couldn’t move and the pressure from all the people just got heavier and stronger. I couldn’t breathe.”

Kaoru felt the residual fear radiating off his brother. It was a very disturbing dream to have. Usually, it was Kaoru who was having the panic inducing dreams. Kaoru didn’t want to think that the reason why Hikaru was having these dreams was because of him. However, it made sense. There was so much change happening in their lives; Kaoru was pulling away, there was a baby on the way, and Kyoya and Kaoru’s relationship was growing. He put himself in Hikaru’s shoes and pictured how it felt to be in Hikaru’s situation.

“I’m sorry, Hikaru.”

Hikaru’s eyes were on him and they burned in the darkness, “Don’t apologize. You always apologize.”

“I feel like it’s my fault.”

“It’s not,” Hikaru’s voice was harsh and tense, “Don’t ever think that.”

“Okay, okay . . .”

“Kaoru, _you’re_ not a burden. _I am_. I’m supposed to be the big brother who protects you, but a lot of times you’re the one who’s keeping me upright.”

“Age has nothing to do with us, we’re the same age.”

Hikaru growled and rolled over, putting his back to Kaoru. It was his way of putting space between them, if you could even call it that. It showed that he was upset without shoving his twin away completely.

“It doesn’t matter.” Hikaru said. “I’m tired.”

Kaoru bit his tongue. A lot of choice words were rising to the surface, but he caged them behind his teeth. Instead, he let them settle heavy in his chest. This was how it had to be with Hikaru. He resented the way he had to hide himself, his responses and reactions, and his emotions, but it was way better than the alternative of Hikaru having a complete meltdown with him. They have had some pretty nasty fights between them, and not the fake ones they put on for the host club. In fact, the fight they had to trick Haruhi into a visit was nothing but a piss poor joke in comparison to their previous rows.

He pulled himself from the bed and left the room. When he got back to his laptop, Kyoya was reading again.

“Hello,” Kyoya greeted breezily once Kaoru’s headphones were back in place.

Kaoru sighed heavily in response. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to Kyoya anymore, which was . . . new. However, Kaoru still wanted to have this time with Kyoya.

“You have my undivided attention once more.” Kyoya grinned after setting aside his books. He noticed Kaoru’s long face and let the grin die. “What’s wrong?”

Kaoru shook his head, “I don’t feel like talking anymore.”

“Do you want to go to bed?”

Annoyance bloomed in Kaoru’s chest. He wished Kyoya could see what he wanted. Sometimes it felt that way, when Kyoya could read a person as if he were reading a children’s book, an easy second-nature. However, Kyoya was cautious with Kaoru. He was more careful of overstepping boundaries out of sensitivity. Yet, because he didn’t jump to his normal, well-informed conclusions, it made him awfully slow on the uptake.

“No, I don’t want to talk,” Kaoru pushed his long bangs out of the way and tucked them under his headphones, “but I want to stay on the call.”

“Oh, that’s fine. Do you mind if I continue my work?”

Kaoru shook his head and watched Kyoya dive back into whatever he was doing. In a way, it was mesmerizing to watch. Kyoya had a very straight face, however there were little idiosyncrasies where his eyebrows might twitch upwards or his mouth pull down when he encountered new problems. Kaoru adored the little bits of Kyoya he could get that were like this. The small things no one would notice about Kyoya, or at least wouldn't notice consciously or purposely. He committed many of them to memory already, but he was always open to learning more.

After about twenty-five minutes, Kaoru’s eyelids began to close on their own, weighed down by mental and emotional exhaustion. He changed positions to get more comfortable, but made the urge to doze worse. It hit him so fast that before he could even try to go to bed, he was completely asleep. It wasn’t until another hour later that Kyoya noticed him on the other end of the call. Kaoru was sleeping on his side with his head tucked in his arm, looking peaceful. Kyoya took a moment to study the sleeping teen’s features before sending a small text to Kaoru and ending the call.

Kyoya: _Alas, Calculus II keeps me burning the candle at both ends. Though, it seems you were more tired than I. Goodnight, Kaoru. I’ll see you tomorrow._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it for now. Don't forget to drink plenty of water and get plenty of rest. If you are reading this at 3 am, go to bed! This has been a PSA by Olive.


	7. "I'm feeling restless."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back- back again. 
> 
> I'm so sorry for the wait so I wrote an extra long chapter to make up for it! I've had a lot of ups and downs in my personal life since the last time I've uploaded so please excuse the messy writing and non-existent editing, or should i say beta-ing? Also I'm doing this while half-asleep lol
> 
> Anyways enjoy and thank you!

Kyoya and Hikaru faced each other at one of the dark-stained wood tables in Music Room #3. They were silent, so quiet with a shared glare of contempt one might have thought they were in an intense staring contest. Having Hikaru as his assistant was perhaps the most annoying idea Tamaki had come up with for him. Hikaru was, as Kaoru put it a while back, ‘a pain in the ass and hard to get along with.’ He hit the head of the nail on that one. In fact, Kyoya didn’t remember a time when Hikaru was more rude. 

It also didn’t help that Kyoya didn’t know what to do with him. Kyoya was self-sufficient and liked working alone. He didn’t need any help with the club’s funds or planning. So, it wasn’t clear what kind of work Kyoya should be giving Hikaru. Technically, Hikaru was overqualified to be his assistant. Hikaru had valuable skills that wouldn’t be best utilized as Kyoya’s underling. Of course, Kyoya would never say that to Hikaru’s face, it sounded too much like a compliment. Upon retrospection, Kyoya realized that Hikaru would probably be best at managing the club’s social media accounts (given it could be proven that he was responsible and mature enough to do it). He probably could build a great website for the club outside of the social media platforms, better than the one Kyoya had been paying for through a third party service. Unfortunately, he would have to wait until later to proposition Hikaru.

“Hikaru, would you—?” Kyoya began.

“No.”

Kyoya took a steadying breath. Hikaru really shouldn’t be able to rouse such an extreme response out of him, yet he somehow knew where all of Kyoya’s exposed nerves were. Kyoya somehow got his face to give one of his best derisive grins and gritted, “Would you be a dear and bring me a cup of coffee?”

“Why? We have Haruhi for that.” Hikaru crossed his arms over his chest.

“Haruhi is busy. You’re my assistant and good assistant’s bring coffee when it’s needed. Now,  _ go _ .”

Hikaru got up abruptly causing the chair the screech across the floor. Several of the girls jumped at the sound it made. He very quickly sauntered off into the side room where all the food and drink was kept for the club. Kyoya pinched the bridge of his nose. It was the first day that the twins’ were starting as ‘assistants’ and Kyoya wanted it to be over with already. Kyoya glanced to where Kaoru was sitting with Tamaki and his entourage of girls. Kaoru seemed content, sitting quietly while making sketches for the upcoming host club event. Tamaki was also quite pleased, often looking over Kaoru’s shoulder and giving positive comments with a big smile.  _ At least, one of us is enjoying their assistant. _

Hikaru came back with a teacup and saucer, slamming it onto the table. “Here you go, sir.”

Kyoya frowned. It wasn’t normal coffee. He could tell something was off by how dark and flat its presentation was. There was no steam, no aroma of coffee, and Hikaru came back way too fast for it to be what he wanted. He picked up the cup, which was only supposed to be used for tea, and took a sip. It was cold brew. He slammed the cup of coffee onto the saucer. He liked cold brew well enough, however it was about 6.5 degrees outside and he was cold. Not to mention, Hikaru only brought it out since he didn’t want to make a fresh brew of coffee, instead opting for the pre-made cold brew that Hani-senpai and Haurhi liked to drink no matter how cold it was outside.

“I want hot, fresh coffee. Try again.”

“I don’t know how to make it.”

“Well, it seems like there’s a search engine for all the questions you might have about performing an action. Maybe you should  _ Google  _ it.”

Hikaru was pissed. It looked like he was about to simply go off on Kyoya when a pale hand grabbed his. Kyoya observed as Kaoru diffused the situation expertly. He whispered into Hikaru’s ear, covering his mouth so no one could see what he was saying. All the while, he kept his hand on Hikaru’s. Behind the twins, Tamaki and his clients observed. Tamaki seemed concerned and disappointed, though he didn’t interrupt the twins.

Kyoya was impressed.  _ How did Kaoru know Hikaru was upset? _ Kyoya had the amusing thought that it must have been twin telepathy floating around in the back of his mind. Though, it did beg the question of how. Kyoya was sure Kaoru wasn’t looking over to him and Hikaru, but he couldn’t say for certain.

“Okay?” Kaoru asked, no longer whispering.

Hikaru nodded and left to the side room again. Kaoru turned to Kyoya clearly angry.

“Don’t worry, I’m irritated at both you.” He said and then followed Hikaru.

Kyoya pursed his lips.  _ Well, then _ . He returned to typing on his laptop setting aside thoughts surrounding Kaoru. Afterall, essays weren’t going to write themselves, especially English essays. Resolution of the tension would have to wait until later when they could text or call one another. Kyoya felt a small tug of glee in his chest at the thought. Texting Kaoru at the end of the day was something he looked forward to. While the circumstances that time were not as desirable, he still enjoyed communicating with Kaoru.

It wasn’t too long after that the wonderful smell of coffee began to fill Music Room #3. A lot of the girls, Kyoya overheard, were giggling as they spoke of Hikaru and Kaoru. All of them wanted to try the coffee the two made, insisting that based on the smell it had to be absolutely divine. It struck an idea in Kyoya’s mind. Perhaps, he had found another way to generate revenue for the club.

Kaoru snuck out of the side room alone and found his way back to Tamaki. He sat down and started sketching again. Tamaki clapped his shoulder, welcoming him back and jumping back into wherever they left off. Kyoya took another unneeded glance to the two after finishing another paragraph. He couldn’t help the warmth flooding his chest from his two favorite people in the world getting along so well. He hadn’t expected how fond he would feel at the thought. It was admittedly out of character for him. Yet, he let Kaoru in and brought him very close. Of course, Kaoru would be one of the few people in the world who could elicit that kind of response out of Kyoya. 

Eventually, Hikaru came out with an actually mug filled with steaming coffee. Hikaru sat it gently on the table and clutched the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry for getting angry . . . and not doing what you said.”

Kyoya was pleasantly surprised, he took a sip of the coffee and hummed in satisfaction. The hot liquid warmed him up.

“I accept your apology.” Kyoya gave a glance, knowing some of the club’s clients were watching. “I’m quite impressed.”

Kyoya wasn’t sure if the small blush that dusted Hikaru’s cheeks was due to the unexpected praise, embarrassment, anger, or because he realized that Kyoya complimented him to rile the girls up. Nevertheless, the girls in their vicinity gasped with delight, gushing at a possible new ‘bromance.’ Certainly, it was an unexpected friendship to say the least, considering that Kyoya and Hikaru’s types usually didn’t mix very well.

Kyoya saw that Kaoru was both entertained and disbelieving. It was also pretty amusing to Kyoya that the girls had begun ‘shipping’ him with Hikaru before even realizing that Kyoya and Kaoru were in a much closer than friendly relationship themselves. He curled his lips at the irony.

“I think you’ve had enough punishment for one day after all,” Kyoya announced and stood, coffee in hand. He saddled up closed to Hikaru and said very clearly, “Your brew is lovely. Well done.”

There was a round of screeching and laughter from the girls.

Kyoya got closer, inwardly enjoying how uncomfortable Hikaru was, and whispered, “I’m only playing nice for Kaoru’s sake. If you don’t do as I say again, I will end you.”

Hikaru instantly paled and Kyoya put on a flirtatious grin to hide the murderous one that threaten to break the surface. He continued in his low tone, “Play along.”

Kyoya then grabbed Hikaru’s chin bring his face up. Kyoya enjoyed the redder blush and green, sickly tint that colored his skin. He held the pose for a beat to allow the girls to gush some more. “I’m looking forward to more cups of your coffee.”

Within seconds, a pair of arms wrapped around Hikaru’s chest and drew him away from Kyoya. From behind Hikaru’s shoulder, Kyoya saw Kaoru grinning mischievously. Hikaru gratefully melted into his brother’s embrace, quickly covering up his distress from Kyoya being so close and playing along as Kyoya said.

“He’s mine, you know?” Kaoru sounded properly angry, yet there was that small lilt in his voice that signified playfulness. “Coffee and all.”

“I wouldn’t question it.” Kyoya responded and crossed his arms. “I was only complimenting his coffee. It  _ was  _ his first brew.”

Kaoru held Hikaru closer, tucking his head into Hikaru’s neck and posing in a signature Hitachiin ‘Brotherly Love’ display. “Maybe I wanted to have his first brew? Sharing is all I’m willing to allow when comes to Hikaru.”

Hikaru quietly groaned and gritted, “Can you please keep me out of your guys’ weird foreplay?”

Kyoya rose an eyebrow. It was enough of a response for Hikaru to fix his attitude and begin playing along.

“Kaoru? I was only doing what was asked?” Hikaru fluttered his eyelashes.

Kaoru twirled Hikaru around and held him close. Time within the room seemed to slow to a stop. This was a popular move of the twins; Hikaru doing something troublesome, Kaoru feeling put out, and then a dramatic climax where they make up. Kyoya could see the play in his head, unfolding as it had thousands of times before. Kyoya once wondered, after the first few months of starting the club, why the girls kept coming back. There was always a predictability in what the hosts would do. Even if you were a girl that would intermingle among the boys, it was still the same set of personalities. After a while, everything had already been done before, multiple times. While he did enjoy being a host and being able to mess around with his friends in a semi-productive manner, it seemed boring to Kyoya if he were to come here as a guest. Perhaps that’s why he strived to make the club as diverse in activities as possible. 

“You never do what I ask,” Kaoru whined, “Even when I ask so nicely. Sometimes I think you do it just to be mean.”

Hikaru cradled Kaoru’s face in his hands, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Will you forgive me?”

Kaoru bowed his head and brought the crook of a finger to his eye. From Kyoya’s angle, he could see the small droplet bottle used to fake tears in the palm of Kaoru’s hand, hidden from the rest of the club.

Kaoru sniffed, “I already have.”

They shared a tight hug while the rest of the Hitachiin fangirls almost brought down the room with their noise alone. Tamaki’s group which sat on the loveseats and chairs chatting, only giggled with their hands covering their mouths. Hani and Mori’s girls seemed unfazed and continued to talk excitedly with Hani about different sweets they’ve tried. 

Kyoya pushed his glasses up, hoping they would cover the eye roll with the glare from the lights. “You can have your brother. I’m done with him . . . for now.”

Kyoya turned and walked to the back room, ready to work on his next project for the club. He could find some peace and quiet back there.

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Kaoru changed into his casual clothes from his uniform in the changing room with Hikaru. He had black skinny jeans, an orange tank layered underneath a long-sleeved white button-up, and a black trench coat to keep warm. He had on some simple jewelry; small silver chains, a couple of rings, and earrings. Hikaru matched him except he had on baggy, back sweat pants, and a long-sleeved red crewneck.

They were relatively quiet. Hikaru was on his phone looking on Twitter for anything new; specifically new video games, music, TV shows, and movies. Kaoru was tinkering with his bracelet which was not clasping like it was supposed to. He needed to send it to the jewelers to make sure it wasn’t broken. For a brief second, he paused his infuriating battle with his bracelet and looked up to Hikaru who still had his eyes glued to the screen. Kaoru rolled his eyes and continued fumbling.

“Alright, out you two!” Tamaki called with Kyoya in tow.

Kaoru looked up to see his senpais in casual clothing as well. Tamaki had his hands on his hips and was leaning into the room expectantly.

Hikaru grunted, “Why?”

“Mommy and Daddy are having a meeting.” Tamaki explained.

“Oh, you have to use this specific room out of all the other rooms you could use?” Hikaru pointed out.

Kaoru added, “And we can’t be present while this  _ meeting _ occurs?”

Kyoya went around Tamaki, arms crossed. “Please, we’re going to discuss finances for the club and family matters. I would appreciate if you did leave, but I won’t force you.”

It piqued Kaoru’s interest. Even with the growing curiosity, he needed to respect their privacy. Hikaru seemed to share the same thoughts. He often furrowed his brow in a way that knit them together while raising one up, it was a dead give away that his attention was narrowed on something.

“Alright. Come on, Kaoru.” He pulled himself off the table he was sitting on. Sitting on the tables was something that Tamaki yelled at him for, yet the bad habit stayed.

Kaoru flashed a tiny smile at Kyoya before leaving. He couldn’t stay mad with him. Kyoya was Kaoru’s biggest soft spots. As much as he wanted to stay angry, he found a lot of the anger had boiled off into the lowest simmer possible. He was annoyed, yes, and he had really been quite angry with Kyoya and Hikaru for not trying to meet each other in the middle despite their differences. But, he told himself that it was going to take time before they could at least be indifferent towards each other in this new relationship.

Kyoya’s mouth turned up at the corner. It was like Kaoru’s smile, it came easily and sometimes unexpectedly. Kyoya hadn’t meant to emote. Kaoru knew Kyoya was expecting him to be angry for a longer period of time. Kaoru’s forgiveness must have surprised a smirk out of Kyoya.

“Have fun in your ‘meeting.’” Kaoru and Hikaru cheered in unison and left Music Room #3.

Out in the hallway, Kaoru adjusted his bag nervously, “Do you think we should be worried?”

The two dodged the quick-paced students milling about in the hallway. The school was probably getting ready for another big event. Kaoru and Hikaru both didn’t try to keep track, not because it was difficult but because they often didn’t enjoy the events unless they were with the host club.

Hikaru had his arms crossed above his head. He obviously wasn’t too concerned, “No.”

Kaoru sighed, but remained silent. They’ll probably get wind of it eventually. It was most likely more plans for the club to try and get money by the way Kyoya put it,  _ finances and family matters _ . Suoh-san might be putting money in or taking money out of the club’s funds. Kaoru hoped it was the former. It wasn’t like Suoh-san had that sort of power as he was a chairman, not the treasure or apart of the treasury department. However, his ability to persuade people and get on their good side was well known. Tamaki did inherit to an extent that trait of being awfully charming from his father. Though, Suoh-san was way more grounded than Tamaki.

The two slowly made their way to the pick-up exit where the family car would be waiting. The area was mostly empty as anyone who left immediately after school had already been picked up about two hours ago. The only students who hung around the lobby waiting for their rides were those who just left their respective clubs and those who stayed after school to study. Though, there was a level of chattering in the room. Kaoru quickly fell into pace with Hikaru to speak lowly.

“What are we doing tonight?”

“I have homework. You?”

“I always have homework. I’m not really in the mood to do it.”

Hikaru snorted, “You? Skipping homework?”

“I want to do something  _ fun  _ tonight.”

Hikaru stopped which left Kaoru continuing on at a very brisk pace. Kaoru hopped between feet a few times to slow his momentum. “Are you serious?”

“What?” Kaoru feigned innocence. 

Hikaru quirked an eyebrow up. It painfully reminded Kaoru of Kyoya. “What do you suppose we do?”

“I don’t know.”

Hikaru rolled his eyes and continued walking. Kaoru followed.

The black SUV waited at the curve of the pick-up area. The family driver was amiable as ever, even when neither twin wanted to speak. Hikaru pulled out his sketchbook and began making doodles with a mechanical pencil. Kaoru watched Hikaru’s drawing take shape out of the corner of his eye. However, his eyes kept roaming to other places. The back of the driver’s head, the window, and Hikaru himself. 

Kaoru had a plan forming in his mind. There was a place that Hikaru and Kaoru had been a few times before called Pink. It was a small club on the other side of Tokyo, a good forty-five minute drive. It had a separate lounge from the main dance floor and seating area that a lot of the Ouran students tended to hang out in. It was a nightclub for lack of a better word, yet it was much more like a Karaoke lounge than anything. Despite it being more laid back and safer than a nightclub, Kaoru felt a drop in his stomach. Their parents didn’t mind them going to places like that on the weekends, but on a Monday night? It wasn’t going to be a huge issue to sneak out. Hikaru and Kaoru had done it many times before and whether or not their parents knew was still debated. They never said anything to the twins even if they did know.

He looked to his own window, watching the lines on the road slip pass the car. It would be best to stay in and do homework. However, Kaoru was feeling restless. Maybe it was the stagnant mood, the fact that nothing interesting had come up in the past few days. Maybe Kaoru was feeling this way because of their so called ‘punishment.’ Working with Tamaki wasn’t all bad. However, seeing Kyoya working with Hiakru made Kaoru frustrated, having conflicted feelings about it. He wanted to be other there himself working with Kyoya as they had done before. He enjoyed sitting quietly, not speaking but enjoying Kyoya’s company nevertheless. Yet, he wanted Hikaru to be around Kyoya and have them get along, possibly learn about each other. 

Kaoru thought about Hikaru’s stance on his and Kyoya’s relationship. Kaoru wasn’t sure if Hikaru approved as he wanted him to. Hikaru didn’t dislike Kyoya. The host club was a giant family ultimately. However, Kyoya’s and Hikaru’s personalities didn’t mix well. Kaoru wasn’t sure that they would be friends if the host club didn’t exist. It was something about the group’s chemistry as a whole that allowed for the unlikely pairings. It all tied back to Tamaki being the glue that held them all together. He had a knack for seeking out personality traits, even the most hidden and repressed. He was able to form the club and be able to fill it with unique characters. All the hosts filled a niche and it just worked. It was miraculous, really. 

Kaoru wanted Hikaru and Kyoya to get along better outside the club. He wasn’t hoping for perfect, but he couldn’t imagine what it would be like if they had a falling out. Kaoru would have to choose between Kyoya and Hikaru essentially. What’s worse was Kaoru knew Kyoya wouldn’t make him choose like Hikaru would. Kyoya would just let Kaoru go as to not burden him with the decision. It upset Kaoru thinking about it. So he put his mental energy into something else: thinking about tonight.

“I have an idea.” Kaoru murmured to Hikaru. 

Hikaru didn’t stop doodling, though he did nod his head.

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Kyoya kneeled at the coffee table in front of the couch in his room. It had been his spot to do homework ever since he had gotten homework. He worked quickly through his Advanced Physics, Calculus II, and Anatomy homework. When he received a text from Kaoru, he was finishing up his organic chemistry. 

Kaoru:  _ I want to talk. _

Kyoya was about to type a response saying he was free to talk when Kaoru sent another message.

Kaoru:  _ oops, that came out wrong. I didn’t mean it like a serious talk! _

Kyoya:  _ I understood what you meant. _

Kaoru:  _ good _

Kaoru sent Kyoya a gif of an animated bear character blowing a puff of air and wiping their brow.

Kaoru:  _ can we facetime? _

Kyoya gave the all clear and grabbed his earbuds connecting them to his phone. Kaoru was filling his screen with a mischievous smile.

“I think you’re due for an apology from me,” Kaoru began, “And I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

“No, but I wanted to. I didn’t think you two were going to be at such odd ends with each other.”

Kyoya hummed, “You were right.”

Kaoru’s smile dulled, “I was hoping for too much. And I’m always right by the way, at least when it comes to Hikaru.”

Kyoya wondered up the stairs to his bedroom. He flipped the lights off for the downstairs lights and turned on dimmed lights upstairs over his bed.

“He was a pain in the ass. However, that wasn’t new. I’ve known you both long enough to know better. You two did cause a lot of grief when the club first started.”

Kaoru grabbed his face dramatically and started longingly into the distance over the screen, “Ah, the nostalgia.”

Kyoya remembered when he met the two. They were insufferable and all too nosey. Kyoya couldn’t have anything personal within their proximity. They had a knack for finding things you didn’t want them to find. Luckily, Kyoya never had anything physical with him that they could poke around in. Though, he could clearly envision the twins during the first meeting of the club. He stumbled upon them in one of the back rooms snooping around. Kyoya had approached the room quietly and leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. It hadn’t taken long before the twins looked up and realized the amount of shit they were in. Of course, this was only a preview of what was to come. The twins were truly the devils of the club.

“I think we did some of our best work here in the club.”

“And I had to pay for it,” Kyoya pinched the bridge of his nose.

Kaoru had a bittersweet look. He looked down and adjusted his headphones, “I know.”

Kyoya let the conversation lapse into silence, as their conversations often did. Kaoru had something on his mind and he was gathering his thoughts. Kyoya hoped it wasn’t anymore news like their mother had thrown at them that past weekend. That was enough of a shock. Kyoya had never in his life felt the kind of surprise he had felt then. It was very unlike him to have reacted in such a way. It didn’t help that Kaoru had purposely waited until he was taking a drink to drop the news.

“We’re maybe going out tonight.” Kaoru ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t think Hikaru wants to do anything and we might not go, but . . .”

Kyoya cocked his head. Despite sounding sure if himself, Kaoru had indecision written all over his face. Kyoya imagined Kaoru was experiencing conflicting forces, one pulling him to stay home and the other to go out.

“Regardless of what you decide to do, be safe.”

Kaoru blushed at his words.

“I don’t think I’d hear the end of it if Tamaki lost his assistant.” Kyoya chirped breezily, enjoying the reaction from Kaoru.

A very deep frown settled on his face on Kyoya’s phone. The bluish light from what Kyoya assumes to be Kaoru’s laptop only accentuated the expression. There was a bit of humor, but Kyoya could tell that Kaoru was mostly annoyed.

“You were about this close,” Kaoru held up his thumb and forefinger about a centimeter apart, “This close to being sweet and sentimental. But you ruined it.”

“Where do you want to go tonight? Would I be correct in saying you were not planning on going to  _ Le Chef’s  _ fine dining?”

“No, I wanted to go to Pink.” Kaoru explained. “Though, I think I might change my mind.”

Kyoya’s stomach turned unpleasantly. He wanted to tell Kaoru to stay in for that night. However, he knew it was overstepping. Kaoru was free to go wherever he pleased and Kyoya wouldn’t tell him otherwise. However, there was something fishy about Pink. It was rather a dull place in Kyoya’s opinion, however there were particularly nasty rumors about that place. It was, at face value, an unsuspecting place and fairly safe for a club. Now, Kyoya didn’t take much stock in rumors but he had his hand in enough to know that place spelled trouble for those not paying attention. And while Kaoru could hold his own, Kyoya didn’t want him to risk his safety for anything.

“I think you should take a night to relax, if anything.” Kyoya suggested. “I wouldn’t be opposed to chatting with you for a while.”

Kaoru looked unhappy. His eyebrows were knit together and his mouth tight. He had his head bowed from Kyoya’s point of view. To be honest, to Kyoya, Kaoru in that moment looked beautiful. Kyoya could see his eyelashes, the odd ends of his hair over his forehead, his upturned nose and pointed chin. It soaked into Kyoya’s mind quickly like water seeping through sand and spreading. He had a hidden notebook underneath the side table next to his bed. It was one of the things Kyoya kept hidden from most anybody, not even the host club knew. Though, right then he wanted to grab the notebook so badly. He could see the details, the lines flowing through his mind and the colors absorbing on white pages.

Kyoya crushed the desire. There were too many reasons why that would be a bad idea. Besides, he didn’t think he was even ready to show Kaoru.

Kaoru looked up. Kyoya took in the amber eyes falling onto the screen. 

“I’m feeling restless. I feel like I’m reaching for something elusive. It’s winding me up tighter and tighter like time is running out for me to catch it.”

Kyoya was hesitant. He was having a rare moment where he was unsure of how to respond. He understood what Kaoru was saying, he understood the feeling. Yet, he didn’t understand why Kaoru was in this state of mind. To think that Kaoru wanted to go to Pink, an uncharacteristic move for him, and probably get into things he shouldn’t be getting into. It was a destination on the path to self-destruction. Kyoya wondered if having their relationship, as it was then, was placing too much stress on Kaoru. He was coping unhealthily as Kyoya had suspected and Kyoya only hoped that he wasn’t in too deep .

“I think . . . I’m going to go out.”

Kyoya noticeably frowned, “Kaoru-”

Kaoru only gave a cheeky grin, “I’ll text you later.”

The call was dropped. Kyoya stared at his screen which showed all the apps he had open before Kaoru filled it. Kyoya had ever been so disgruntled by him.

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Kaoru sat absolutely still as Hikaru carefully applied the brush onto his skin. The twins had a knack for a lot things and make-up was another talent they seemed to excel at naturally. And while they wore it in their mother’s designs to straight up cross-dressing, Kaoru thought as he waited for Hikaru to finish that maybe he was pushing it too much. They were both dressed in a balance of casual and formal wear and both decided that sneaking into their mother’s make-up collection wouldn’t be a bad idea. At the time, it was a great idea in Kaoru’s head. There was no doubt that it would be great and look great as well. However, Kaoru was suddenly hit with the fact that they were going out in public with make-up on. While Tokyo had its fair share of fashion subcultures where a guy wearing making wouldn’t cause anyone to blink an eye, they had switched gears and decided on a new location. They were headed to a karaoke lounge and cafe that's open late on weekdays. It’s location was what had Kaoru reeling to change his mind. It was in one of the business districts where they were probably going to be recognized and under high scrutiny.

It also didn’t help that Kaoru wasn’t wearing basic level make-up so often seen on male celebrities. It wasn’t a foundation and some contour to accentuate male features. It was much more flamboyant. Honestly, Kaoru wouldn’t be surprised if Hikaru had done it on purpose.

“Black or brown mascara?” 

Kaoru sighed, “Brown.”

“Are you sure? This look would be fucking killer with black mascara.”

“Hikaru,” Kaoru growled. He wasn’t happy with how heavy the make-up felt on his face. He wasn’t in the mood to be dolled up and yet, Hikaru didn’t listen to him through most of the make-up applying process.

“Alright, alright.” Hikaru laughed. “Brown it is.”

Kaoru raised his eyebrows and let Hikaru brush the wand against his eyelashes, then looking up so he could do the bottom lashes. The look was done.

Hikaru took a step back from his twin brother looking over his work. “I’m a miracle worker.”

Kaoru rolled his eyes, “You’re next.”

Hikaru shook his head, “Nope, just you this time.”

Kaoru frowned. Why wasn’t Hikaru being poked and prodded like Kaoru had? Why wasn’t he joining in on the ‘fun’ as he had put it before he started. Kaoru stood from the stool and and crossed his arms.

“Why?”

Hikaru shrugged, “You look better in it.”

“We look the same except for our hair.”

Hikaru shook his head, “You suit it more. Besides, you’ll thank me later.”

God, Hikaru could be arrogant as hell. 

“I’m just wondering why I’m so dressed up just to go to a boring Karaoke lounge.”

Hikaru shook his head again, but smiling. “It’s not just any boring karaoke lounge. I texted the entire host club to come along. Everyone agreed on coming.”

Kaoru wasn’t mad at the sudden group outing. In fact, it comforted Kaoru in a way he hadn’t expected. It was almost like everyone else had the same pent up energy they needed to release. Besides, he wouldn’t mind seeing Tono at the mic once more. Everyone in the club knew just how fun it was to be there when Tamaki let loose. Also the twins would get to know how good of a singer Haruhi was . . . or wasn’t.

“Is Kyoya coming?” Kaoru hesitated to ask because he didn’t want Hikaru to make fun of him. 

Hikaru nodded slowly, a devilish smirk on his face. “He’s coming.”

Kaoru didn’t like the tone of voice Hikaru used. This was most certainly going to be interesting to see unfold, whatever Hikaru’s plans were. As an Hitachiin himself, Kaoru knew he needed to hold on tightly and wait this one out. This was the calm before the storm.

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Kyoya had begun undressing himself to get ready for bed. He wasn’t actually going to sleep, but to browse around, digging up dirt for the hell of it. It wasn’t like he could sleep, being the insomniac he was. The closet on the upper level contained his personal items, as well as storage for his daily routine. Extra bottles of shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and linens like his bed sheets were all there in neat rows. He supposed it was a bit of a design flaw in his opinion to have so much of his storage space and living areas on the lower level of his bedroom. It was also annoying climbing up the stairs to bed, though he was never say that to anyone. It would sound like he was lazy. 

Regardless, he asked for a large closet to be built on the upper level of his bedroom so that if necessary, he could have stuff in reach in case of an emergency. There have been plenty of mornings were he had unwittingly hit snooze in his half-asleep daze, often angrily dismissing the calls on his phone from his guards trying fruitlessly to help him even when it wasn’t their job to do so. It was a cluster after waking up realizing he only had five minutes to be seated in front of his father at the table for breakfast. He hated trying to rush through all the drawers to get his entire outfit ready. By having his school uniform right beside his bed, it made it easier to yank it off the hanger and throw it on.

The personal care items were a new addition. He liked being able to grab extras on his own and not have to worry about getting them from a staff member. It may sound stupid, but maybe Haruhi’s independence was rubbing off on him. 

He was pulling his pajamas off the hanger when his buzzed in his pocket. Kyoya pulled it out and saw a message from Hikaru. He debated whether or not to open it. However, another notification popped up, that time an image from Hikaru. Kyoya thought he didn’t have anything better to do so he unlocked his phone to look.

The Other Hitachiin:  _ Kaoru’s going out looking great for someone special ;P _

The picture showed Hikaru in a mirror, an array of makeup on the counter in front of him. Kyoya felt a twinge in his chest and an unpleasant nauseousness in his stomach at the sight. Kyoya’s mind scrambled to clamp down on the rush of emotions. It was much too extreme. Kyoya hadn’t ever felt an emotional reaction as strong as the one he had then. It was giving his logical side whiplash. He was angry, more so surprised and distressed. It was the first time Kyoya had experienced jealousy in that capacity. 

Kyoya:  _ I don’t see how this has anything to do with me? _

The Other Hitachiin:  _ I thought you’d like to know. Kaoru’s going to the karaoke place we went to with Renge last month. _

Kyoya fought the urge to run out to stop Kaoru. He gritted his teeth. It was bait and Kyoya was determined not to take it. At least, that’s what he had thought when he had realized he had already put his coat and shoes back on, phone in hand to call for the car.


	8. "I almost broke that promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I haven't died or something! Though, with the excruciating writer's block I've been having, I might as well have been. It's been more than a month since the last update and about a week from when I wanted to publish another chapter, but here we are. I've finally worked out the kinks (lol i'm actually 12) and I might be on the right track. I have in mind where I want this story to go and how I want it to end, but the middle bits are still questionable and I'm kinda just winging it. 
> 
> But bare with me some more and we might get somewhere. Thank you for all the support and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Hopefully the next one will be up sooner (I'm actually expecting a faster turn around since the next chapter is a bit more juicy). Again no beta because I'm lazy ;)

The twins’ mother didn’t have a problem with her sons going out on a Monday night. She had caught them on the way down the stairs, questioning why they were coming back down again after saying they were going to bed. Kaoru didn’t see why they would lie about where he and Hikaru were going. If she had said to march themselves back up to bed and forget the karaoke lounge, they would just sneak out again. Surprisingly, she only smiled and told them to be safe and have fun. Their father said the same thing after they recovered from the mini heart attack they had at his sudden and unexpected appearance. On the bright side, they didn’t have to call for a cab to pick them up. The family driver drove them to the lounge and said they wouldn’t need to call a cab for their return, he would wait on them.

Kaoru and Hikaru thanked him gratefully.

The two skipped into the large, multistory building taking the elevator to the fourth floor where the lounge was. Most of the host club was already there waiting on them. Tamaki ordered drinks and food beforehand. Apparently, Haruhi hadn’t eaten yet and the King of the host club couldn’t let that go. It was fine by Kaoru, he didn’t mind snacking. The impressive spread on the short coffee table in between the padded benches gave a lot of options. He went for the spicy snacks. Though, the next thing he noticed was that Kyoya wasn’t there. Hikaru had said he’d be? His unneeded worry sat very uncomfortably in his stomach, but he shook his head. He’d be there soon enough.

The group started off with some newly released songs. Hani-senpai took the mic first singing along to a love song, which he had dedicated to Reiko-san, his girlfriend. Reiko-san was a relatively new person in their group and while Hani-senpai was pretty serious about their relationship, the info still hadn’t settled. When Hani first told everyone about him and Reiko, it was a shock. She was cute, and very doll-like, yet she was also apart of Nekozawa’s black magic club. That was the biggest shock. How could Hani-senpai like someone from the _black magic club_? Tamaki was still trying to wrap his head around it and Haruhi, someone who is patient and pretty accepting, was still unsure how she felt about them. She was supportive, but unsure of how to predict their relationship.

Hikaru and Kaoru couldn’t help the laughter bubbling out of them. Of course, he would dedicate a love song to her. What made them start laughing was the fact that she wasn’t even there to hear. It was awkward for lack of a better description and the other hosts’ faces were priceless. 

The fun started once the twins and Tamaki started taking their turns. Haruhi had her one and only turn while the rest of the boys tried to grit through it with a smile. It wasn’t until about thirty minutes in when Kyoya finally showed. He slid the door open and looked quite troubled. He was pale, gritting his teeth as if he were steeling himself into opening the door. Kaoru couldn’t help to do a once over of his form. He was wearing all black and Kaoru liked the way it contrasted against his skin.

Kyoya being as stoic as he was didn’t let a lot show, but by the way he looked, Kaoru was questioning whether or not he was okay. Kyoya looked around the room, almost in a deadpan. His sweep stopped once at Kaoru. Kaoru felt the flames of embarrassment licking at his skin. Kyoya took in the makeup and hairstyle with hungry eyes. Kaoru could feel the delight of realizing that Kyoya _really_ liked the look. He was worried that it might be too much makeup done in a too feminine way, but the heavy gaze and lingering look Kyoya had was enough of a reassurance. 

The next time Kyoya’s look around the room stopped was immediately after he tore his eyes off of Kaoru. He looked to Hikaru and his look of awe from Kaoru was replaced with one of the deadliest masks of fury Kaoru had ever seen in his life. Kyoya went from the doorway to Hikaru in the blink of an eye. Kyoya picked Hikaru up from his sitting position had him up against the wall, his fists were wrapped in Hikaru’s collar, and in face was mere inches from Hikaru’s face. Hikaru wasn’t fighting in any way, his arms hung limply at his sides and he was laughing. Kyoya didn’t say or do anything more than give him that cold look.

Tamaki, Mori and Hani all stood ready to rush to Hikaru’s aid if Kyoya were to have gone further. Haruhi dropped one of the appetizer plates she had been moving and stood as well. A hush fell across the host club members other than Hikaru at the scene before them. Kaoru was still trying to catch up with it himself. He vaguely wondered what the other hosts were thinking, or if they too were in a state of shock.

Tamaki was brave enough to put a hand on Kyoya’s shoulder. Kyoya didn’t react to him, keeping his eyes on the still laughing Hikaru.

“Kyoya?” Tamaki kept his voice low and soft. He was prodding Kyoya to see what the reaction would be.

Everyone held their breath waiting for what would happen next. The room was completely silent once Hikaru’s wheezy laughs died down, though he was still intermittently chuckling.

Kaoru, who had stood during the commotion as everyone else did, took a tentative step towards Hikaru. “What did you do, Hikaru?”

Hikaru’s head snapped around to Kaoru and growled accusingly, “Me?”

Kyoya immediately dropped Hikaru onto the bench. He had calmed down a bit, but his hands were shaky as he put them in his coat pockets. He stole a quick look from Kaoru and left the room. Everyone stood completely still. No one rushed to Kyoya right away. Afterall, they were all trying to process what had just happened. Kaoru was trying to wrap his brain around why Kyoya had came, only to pause questioningly, rough up Hikaru, then leave all without a word.

_Hikaru texted everyone separately_. Kaoru began to put the pieces together. He quickly snatched Hikaru’s phone from the table in front of them. He knew his twin’s password and layout like it was his own. It was then he found out why Hikaru had texted everyone separately and not in the group chat like they would have normally done. He saw Hikaru’s messages and picture he had sent Kyoya. His chest ached for a lot of different reasons. First, it ached for Kyoya, who must have felt played and, on a certain level, betrayed by Hikaru. Secondly, it ached from the knowledge that Hikaru would do such a thing. He understood his brother was perfectly capable of pulling a move like this. However, he was hoping Hikaru had grown up some more and wasn’t acting like a child. Of course, what had occured said otherwise. Thirdly, Kaoru ached for his own selfish reasons. Why did this happen to him at that time? He hated feeling so sorry for himself. He chalked it up to having been so close to Kyoya and Hikaru, it was like he was in the crossfire of whatever little battle they were doing. He didn’t want to be there and didn’t want to be used like some sort of pawn for an advantage.

Hikaru saw Kaoru had his phone and pulled it ashamedly from his hands. He stuffed it into his pocket despite the fact that Kaoru had seen everything.

Kaoru wanted to punch him. He wanted to pull his hair and kick him. It was a familiar feeling, granted that they had fought physically before. Kaoru, however, had better self-control than Hikaru. So, he did the next best thing: go after Kyoya. 

Kaoru bolted before anyone could make a move. He ran to the nearest stairwell just outside of the Karaoke's suite ad down the hallway. Bursting through the heavy door and onto the landing, he leaned over the railing looking down. Kyoya’s head hung over the landing about a couple stories below. The inky black of his hair stuck out against the blue-gray metal railings. Once Kaoru reached that particular floor, he saw Kyoya bent over the railing, his hands curled into fists around the bar, knuckles white. His head bowed down low. Kaoru wasn’t sure if he was so focused on whatever was bothering him that he hadn’t heard Kaoru coming down the stairs.

Kaoru reached out a had to his shoulder like Tamaki had done earlier. However, he decided that Kyoya might not want to be touched. His hand faltered and eventually fell to his side. “Kyoya?”

“Kaoru, I’m sorry.”

Kaoru didn’t expect nor want an apology, actually something far from it. The only person he wanted to apologize was Hikaru.

“What? No . . . no, what Hikaru did wasn’t your fault.”

“I think the way I reacted says more about me than it does him.” Kyoya looked around to Kaoru before turning away. “Kaoru, I made a promise to you that you were completely within your own discretion to be with anyone romantically or sexually if you so pleased. What I did . . . I almost broke that promise.”

Kaoru didn’t think of it like that. He only felt frustration with Kyoya for being so hard on himself. Kaoru had secretly been harboring a hatred for the promise. He wouldn’t say it to Kyoya, but Kaoru just didn’t see it the same as he did when they first started this relationship. It sounded like a good compromise, despite Kaoru being unsure of what they were compromising on exactly. He didn’t want to bring it up to Kyoya for fear of upsetting him. Kaoru had been under the impression that Kyoya was placing that distance between them out of respect for each other’s families. As late, though, Kaoru felt more confident in himself and wanted to take the next steps in their relationship. Maybe not something physical, definitely not coming out as that had way too much emotional baggage. Dating sounded nice. Being able to hang out romantically with Kyoya was what Kaoru fantasized about the most.

“I don’t think of it that way,” Kaoru responded honestly.

Kyoya shook his head, “Kaoru, I believed your brother, for starters. Then, went to where you were expecting to find you with someone else. Then, what? I can’t answer that question myself. What would I have done if you were on a date with someone else?”

Kaoru was at a loss for words.

“Not to mention, it’s possessive. I act like I’m already your significant other when I’m not.”

Kyoya’s words pierced Kaoru’s heart and burned so cold like icicles. He was right, yet Kaoru didn’t want him to be right. Kaoru wanted Kyoya to be his significant other regardless. Kyoya wasn’t perfect and this was new to both of them, being jealous was expected somewhat. Couldn’t Kyoya see that he wasn’t in the wrong there?

“It’s normal to feel that way. Especially after what Hikaru did. It’s his fault and he should be the one apologizing.” 

Kyoya shook his head again, “It’s not normal. Besides, I should amend what I said before. Even if I was your significant other, it would be wrong to act as I did.”

Kaoru sighed, “You know, understanding this means that your already on the road to fixing it, right? Self-awareness doesn’t happen to everyone when they make a mistake, even people as smart as you.”

Kyoya turned his head enough to where Kaoru could see his small, tired smile on his lips. Kyoya didn’t say anything to argue against Kaoru, but Kaoru had the feeling Kyoya wasn’t being swayed by his words.

Possessiveness wasn’t expected of Kyoya, Kaoru would admit. It made Kaoru bristle at the thought. Worryingly, he was caught between being happy for his dark knight and feeling sick at the consequences. 

Kaoru wasn’t going to argue with Kyoya. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Kyoya. Kyoya tensed for a fraction of a second with surprise before relaxing in Kaoru’s hold. Kaoru’s forehead was at the nape of Kyoya’s neck. Sneakily, he pulled Kyoya’s coat down enough with a hooked finger so he could brush his lips against it as he rose to the tips of his toes. The reaction was immediate; a full body shiver that Kaoru felt against him, a sigh, and the slow backwards tipping of Kyoya’s head. The atmosphere shifted dramatically, becoming something charged.

“Don’t.” Kyoya pleaded. “I might do something rash.”

_Rash_. Kyoya was always using formal language, pulling out dated words that really sounded out of place in the present moment. Kaoru smiled into Kyoya’s back, pleased at how easily it was to pull at the threads of Kyoya’s self control. It shouldn’t have been so easy, honestly. Kyoya was unwaveringly aloof. He only expressed himself more freely around friends. However, this was amazing in Kaoru’s eyes. He and Kyoya hadn’t tread these waters since they had made their promise to each other. Being able to see and feel Kyoya in this way, well . . . Kaoru had a new appetite for him.

“Maybe you should do something rash?”

Kyoya’s hands tightened on the railing. A slow steadying breath left Kyoya and Kaoru in tandem. Kyoya seemed to have gathered his courage and turned to Kaoru. Once facing him, Kaoru looked up to Kyoya’s eyes and leaned into his slender form. Kaoru was wrapped in Kyoya’s arms and brought in closer.

“Tempting as it may be . . .” Kyoya trailed off, however something had caught his eye.

A slow, cautious hand was brought to Kaoru face, gently touching the very top of his cheekbone. Kyoya’s fingertips drifted around the area below the corner of his eye. Kaoru enjoyed the feather-light touches against his skin. He probably would have hummed his appreciation if Kyoya hadn’t stop abruptly. He stopped as if he realized something after the fact. He pulled his hand away turning his palm to face him and inspecting his fingertips.

“Don’t worry. I had a heavy coating of setting spray.”

Kyoya hummed, “What is this?” He brought his finger back to the same spot on Kaoru’s face following a streak of ethereal shine that graced the area.

“Highlighter.” Kaoru breathed in English, then repeated in the borrowed Japanese even when he didn’t need to, “Highlighter.”

“It’s beautiful.”

Kaoru flushed. Kyoya’s words always seemed to matter more at times like this. They always settled heavily on Kaoru’s mind and burrowed deep to keep from forgetting them. He reached up to the hand that lingered on his face. Allowing his fingers to encircle Kyoya’s wrist, Kaoru held himself steady with the contact.

“You prefer the shiny things.”

Kyoya chuckled jokingly, “Only the shiny, nothing else.”

Kaoru had a lopsided grin on his face. His heart was doing weird things inside him. It was like he was dazed, completely unaware of the raucous steps descending to where he and Kyoya were. Kyoya gently pushed him away, yet kept his hands on Kaoru’s arms communicating that he still wanted to maintain contact but couldn’t. Kaoru finally snapped out of his spell and swallowed the annoyance at whoever was coming down the stairwell. He desperately wanted to know what would have happened if he and Kyoya had just a little bit more time.

Kyoya let his hands fall slowly from Kaoru once they heard Hani-senpai’s sing-song voice. They were at a friendly distance then, so that when Hani made the last turn and came into view they were standing as if they were having an ordinary conversation.

“Kyo-chan, Kao-chan? I came to see if everything was alright.”

Kaoru faced Hani-senpai and nodded, “Yeah. We’re both okay.”

“Hika-chan won’t tell us what happened and won’t tell us why he won’t tell us.” Hani put both his hands to his face and gave the cutest frown.

Kaoru let out a silent breath of relief. At least Hikaru didn’t tell everyone about him and Kyoya. “Hikaru said something to Kyoya that made him worry about us.”

Kaoru didn’t specify ‘us’ on purpose hoping Hani-senpai would assume he was talking about the club incorrectly. “Oh . . . Why would he do something so mean?”

“He thought it would be funny to see Kyoya-senpai’s reaction.” 

Hani wore a very odd expression. It looked much too mature for his overly cute persona he usually wore. It was angry, disappointed, and sad.

“I overreacted,” Kyoya suddenly spoke up, “I apologize.”

Hani didn’t look convinced. Kaoru knew that he could be perceptive, the thought made his stomach churn.

“Okay!” Hani-senpai finally chirped. “I think we should go back. Tama-chan wanted to finish the time left on the room to relax and talk.”

Kyoya nodded and looked to Kaoru. “I’ll return shortly.”

Kaoru left begrudgingly with Hani. He knew if he had stayed with Kyoya it would have raised more suspicion than when he had ran after him. Though, he wanted to stay despite what his logical mind was telling him. His heart was compelled to remain at Kyoya’s side and didn’t much care for what others had to say about it. It was such a strong force as well, one that he could physically feel with each step he took up the stairs. It was so odd to experience so strongly. The only other times had experienced anything similar were when he was away from Hikaru. It was expected for him to feel that way, of course. Though, it was different from what he was feeling then. When Kaoru was apart from Hikaru, it was more of a panic and a feeling of loss. With Kyoya, it was a slow, heavy, and burning ache. It was quiet and discreet, but just as distracting. 

He moped all the way up the stairs having that burning ache in his gut. 

_Is this what love was? Like true love?_

The thought scared him more than he had realized. He knew love enough, or at least he thought he knew. Having all the emotional burdens that came with it was something entirely different. He swallowed back the anxiety rushing through him. He shouldn’t feel anxious about this. There was nothing wrong with being a little wary with love, especially then with how new everything was to him. They were firsts for him and probably Kyoya. However, the terror that he had just felt was unnecessary. He cursed his stupid brain for not knowing what was truly a threat and what was benign.

Kaoru tried to settle whatever was shifting uncomfortably around in his stomach and took a few deep breaths. Hani-senpai turned upon hearing his sigh and smiled lightly. Kaoru reminded himself that he would have to play cheerful for tonight. The whole purpose of going out was to get some relief and not have to pretend in front of his friends. He wanted to forget for a few hours what was happening with school, the club, even him and Kyoya. It seems that Hikaru had ruined all of that.

.

.

.

.

Kyoya watched as Kaoru left with Hani-senpai. He waited until the door to the fourth floor has shut before he let out a growl of frustration. His hands found the railing again, curling tightly. His anger often came out as physical outbursts. It was one of his worst traits out of many terrible ones he thought he had. He believed he had learned or somehow inherited it from Yoshio Ootori himself. It was quite a grim thought to be had. In fact, Kyoya was probably the only Ootori to have it. Yuuichi was extremely patient even when angry, Akito only harbored cold fury and never used physicality to release his frustrations, and Fuyumi was much like Yuuichi though she was known to have wicked temper tantrums as a child. Kyoya’s mother really didn’t count on the list as Kyoya had never seen her angry. Granted, he didn’t spend enough time with her to know. She traveled too often, especially after Kyoya was old enough to be taken care of by the Ootori staff and hired nannies. 

He was the odd one out, ironically being the one with the most in common with their father out of all the Ootori children. The anger was just one of many. And oh, how did he want to let his anger control him and beat Hikaru to a pulp. Tamaki was once on the receiving end of Kyoya’s anger. He was lucky too. Kyoya was ready to land the first punch, however Tamaki wasn’t afraid and somehow was still able to see through Kyoya’s anger. Kyoya believed Kaoru could do the same. When Kaoru had found him (miraculously pinpointing his location in a large building), Kyoya was able to calm down. He was almost back to normal until Hani-senpai came down. After Kaoru left, his sense of calm was lifted and he returned to his grumpy state. 

_Maybe I should see a therapist._

Kyoya doubted a therapist could ever help him. It wasn’t a problem of emotional intelligence. He knew when he was upset, he knew how to calm down and think, and he knew how to react. Though, whenever people he cared about were involved, it got under his skin. He didn’t see himself as some sort of protector, yet he was being overprotective. It simply wasn’t his place to step into Kaoru’s life as he did. He couldn’t stop worrying himself over what might have happened if Kaoru was with someone else? He had entered the karaoke lounge asking for Hitachiin and the receptionist who looked a bit concerned for him only smiled and pointed him to the room. He had no idea what he could have been walking into. What would he have done?

He recalled a slight moment of clarity- in comparison to the blur of the car ride to the lounge and entering the building- when he opened the door to the room. Suddenly, everything became too surreal. As if standing there and seeing a normal and unassuming scene unfold before him was overwhelming. Kyoya knew that was where his control began to buckle. It was when the different compartments of his mind all began to put the pieces together to what had happened. However, they were all doing it at different paces and all came to the conclusion at different times. It was one blow after another. He was relieved to find Kaoru with friends. Kyoya didn’t even want to think about Kaoru on a date with someone else besides him. It was quickly followed by confusion when Kyoya realized something was adding up. It wasn’t until his eyes fell onto Hikaru that it all snapped into place. Hikaru sent those things to be purposely misleading. He tricked Kyoya. 

Kyoya was hurt, surprisingly enough for him. He had been careful enough to keep some distance from people to avoid it. When it came to the host club, the amount of distance he kept was a dangerously undefined (and much smaller) amount. The club never did anything to hurt each other and so Kyoya hadn’t needed to deal with the reality of his friendships. Even so, Hikaru had crossed a line. That much was certain and Kyoya wouldn’t argue. However, Kyoya was probably never going to forgive his reaction. He was better than that and he was going to do better, he wouldn’t accept anything less.

Kyoya let his head fall. He needed to go back upstairs, even he didn’t want to. It wouldn’t be the first or last time he would be doing something he didn’t want to do all while putting a face on. He had to do it for Kaoru.

_For Kaoru_. Those two words were enough of a motivator to get Kyoya moving back up the stairs. 

Before he knew it, Kyoya was at the sliding door to the room. He opened it to see the tension in the room had diffused. Tamaki was rambling on about something, the rest of the club was engaged, and everything seemed as it should. Kyoya was tempted to close the door and leave since his reappearance was bound to be awkward. It didn’t seem like they needed him there anyways and certainly, no one needed the tension to come back. He thought he was only going to ruin the atmosphere. There wasn’t enough time for him to close the door back when Kaoru’s head whipped to Kyoya. Of course he had been waiting.

Kyoya would admit that seeing Kaoru’s eyes light out every time he saw Kyoya was extremely gratifying. It was enough for Kyoya to take a step through the doorway.

“Glad you could make it,” Tamaki grinned. “I thought we could make this impromptu meeting productive. We were talking about our next event.”

Kyoya was relieved at the change in subject. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so awkward when everyone was focused on club activities and not on what happened earlier. The room’s atmosphere was significantly lighter, something closer to what it would in one of their meetings in Music Room #3. Seeing Kaoru, as well as everyone else, pleased to see him (well, except Hikaru who looked guilty) had already lifted so much off his shoulders. Kyoya felt they might be angry with him at how he responded, even vindictive for Hikaru and judgmental. He knew his friends would never be so fickle, yet there was always that fear. Kyoya had known them for about three and a half to four years now. They were all closer to each other than their own respective families. And despite that time period being relatively short, they had gone through so much and have bonded so much more strongly because of it. How could he have ever thought they would push him away because of a stupid scuffle?

“Oh, really?” Kyoya shed his coat and sat down next to Tamaki. He crossed his legs and laid the coat neatly over his lap.

The twins groaned in unison, “Yeah, we thought we had this time off but apparently not.”

“Oh c’mon, it’s fun talking about the club.” Tamaki pouted.

“I find it annoying,” Hikaru started and Kaoru added, “ I find it stressful.”

“It doesn’t have to be! I mean think about how fun a trip would be!”

Hikaru and Kaoru leaned into one another, arms crossed, and unamused expressions in place. Kyoya would have to agree with the twins on that particular point. Trips on the surface may appear fun and refreshing (cue a sudden and slightly off-putting flashback to Karuizawa and Misuzu-san), however they take a toll in more ways than one. Kyoya often tried to reign the King back on his wild ideas of travel since there were plenty and came at the most unexpected or inopportune times. Trying to handle Tamaki in the middle of one of his rants was the annoying part. The stressful part came in with all the red tape around traveling. There were plenty of forms Ouran required on their end. Of course, if the club did fly internationally, it would mean more paperwork. Thankfully Haurhi was never in the mood to obtain a passport in the time she had been in the club. It cut down on the work, but there were reservations and dining to worry about. Not to mention any sort of itinerary that Kyoya might have to make up or rely on a tour for. 

If Tamaki could have it his way, the club might be indefinitely traveling, barring exams when he would actually want to sit somewhere quietly and study. Kyoya could only imagine the hell he would be experiencing if that were the case. He entertained the idea that if hell were real, that would be his personal one. He laughed to himself at the thought.

“I don’t think we have the funds to do another trip.” Kyoya sighed. “If anything we should probably try a fundraiser-donation event.”

“Do we really need to?” Haruhi asked sipping her drink through a bright orange straw.

“It would be best to. The school’s budget is being cut because a lot of parents are not very happy with the school’s frivolous spending.”

Haruhi looked irritated muttering, “Frivolous spending is an understatement.”

Kyoya continued on ignoring Haruhi’s comment, “A lot of the parents who sponsor school events, or are patrons to the school in general, are looking for Ouran to spend their money in better ways. Unfortunately for us, it meant that the school cut a lot of the funding for social clubs and activities.”

“Why? Aren’t they the most popular?” Haruhi asked.

Kyoya nodded, “They are. However, they don’t bring a lot of money in. In fact, they cost money. The host club is one of the most expensive clubs, outside of the student newspaper. And they aren’t even in the social category technically and soon enough they will be switching to being completely online with no physical prints. It will surely cut the amount they spend.”

“We’ve been really lucky.” Tamaki pinched the bridge of his nose. “My father has a lot of sway and has helped the club out a lot. But, he can only push so far.”

“Exactly. We have enough in our account currently to take a trip, but it will completely empty our pockets. I’d rather have some cushioning for projects later on.” Kyoya tapped the corner of his glasses. “However, I have a plan.”

The entire club, who appeared gloomy with news of cut funding, instantly perked up at Kyoya’s words.

Tamaki grabbed Kyoya’s shoulder and shook him playfully, “Of course you have a plan, genius.”

“I got the idea when Hikaru made the cup of coffee for me today.” The corner of Kyoya’s mouth quirked upwards. 

Mori-senpai’s eyebrows raised, “Coffee?”

“If Hikaru was proficient enough at steeping it manually, we could capitalize on it.”

Hikaru munched on a potato chip from the spread before them aggressively, “Hell no.”

“Why not?” Kaoru turned to his twin. “Don’t you want to participate?”

“I do but- . . .” Hikaru rubbed his neck. His eyebrows were drawn together in thought and his silence stretched on for a long time.

“Don’t tell me your embarrassed by it?” 

“No-no, it’s not that!” Hikaru stammered. “I just don’t know if I can do it in front of everybody.”

Kaoru was gobsmacked. “You’re kidding me?”

Hikaru’s face reddened substantially. He picked up another chip and took a small bite out of it. 

Kyoya couldn’t lie, he had a sick enjoyment watching Hikaru get embarrassed. It was something he looked forward to when anyone had been rude to him, or outright disrespectful. Even with the desire to physically lash out, Kyoya was still aristocracy and what the aristocracy did best was delight on the petty. It was endlessly pleasing to him. _Absolutely sadistic in the simplest ways._

“Hikaru, we perform as a part of being a host!” Kaoru cried. “How is this any different?”

“I don’t know. I think I might just spill boiling hot water everywhere.”

Kaoru rolled his eyes and turned to Kyoya, “How about I do it with him?”

Kyoya thought about it. He didn’t see why not, he was about to say so when Mori-senpai unexpectedly spoke up. “I’ll do it.” 

Certainly, the night was full of surprises. 

Hani-senpai gasped in delight. He hunched his shoulders and shook his hands in the air excitedly. “You should, Takeshi!”

Mori seemed quite pleased with the affirmation and Hani didn’t sit still, continuing his little happy dance after the club continued continued on.

“Well, I guess I could do it with Mori-senpai.” Hikaru removed his hand from his neck and crossed his arms.

“That settles that,” Tamaki waved a finger, “So what’s the theme exactly? A cafe theme?”

“Indeed.” Kyoya reached into his coat pocket for his phone to look at his notes. “I’ve been looking looking into uniforms to rent for the occasion. I think something mixed between a Victorian butler and a high-end waiter would suffice.”

Tamaki did his signature raised brow, his hand forming an ‘L’ where is chin sat. “Excellent taste, my friend. I say such wear would look great set in a casual fine dining atmosphere.”

Kyoya understood what Tamaki was visualizing. Tamaki went on rattling ideas out while Kyoya made a mental note of them. The problem was timing. Exams were coming up and club traffic would be down significantly. There was only about a week-long window where they could manage, though it would be pushing it since it was the week after next. 

“I think you may want to downsize your vision.” 

Tamaki screeched, “Why?”

Kyoya pushed his glasses as they slipped down his nose. He turned to Tamaki once more and gave him a tired smile, “Exams are coming up soon and we don’t have so much time to plan as we normally do.”

Tamaki puffed out his cheeks and hugged himself tightly. In Kyoya’s opinion, what Tamaki had in mind would be wonderfully decadent as well as comforting. A roleplay of a warm and inviting cafe during this time of year was sure to bring in great revenue. Additionally, the host club’s ability to create high quality experience with costumes and props to match, it was sure to be so well received that the club might have to schedule another cafe event.

“It will be a test run,” Kyoya offered, “and we’ll be able to do a full event after term resumes in January.”

Tamaki glanced at Kyoya from the corner of his eye before looking back to Haruhi, Hikaru, and Kaoru across the table. “Alright.”

Kyoya let the small smile slip from his lips. Though, from across the table, Kaoru’s eyes lingered on his mouth. Kyoya felt the same warmth flood him as when Kaoru kissed the nape of his neck. Kyoya could still feel them there, barely brushing and as soft as a whisper. Reliving the moment was almost enough to make him slip back into his thoughts, or more accurately his fantasies. He was able to pull himself out before he was in too deep. At that point, Kaoru eyes flicked back up to Kyoya’s. Kaoru must have thought Kyoya wasn’t looking or paying attention when he started staring. He quickly flustered and turned away. Kyoya thought he couldn’t be more precious.


	9. "I don't want to wait."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SuRpRiSe ChApTeR !!!11!1!!!!!!!1!
> 
> Yes, I have poured my heart and soul into making this unedited chapter. I thought I'd post it now since I want a Friday update schedule. So prepare for that . . . hopefully. Next, I'm planning on changing the summary for a lot of reasons. The problem is that I'm terrible at writing summaries and it also doesn't help that I'm trying to write one before the story is even half-way done. Again prepare for that. Finally, I'm just throwing the whole 'I'll stick to the canon plot as much as possible' out the window. I've already messed it up so much. -.-
> 
> Anways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's extra special *wink wink*, mind the rating (aka we entering PG-13 levels if you weren't aware already)!

Kyoya left the karaoke lounge early because he knew leaving so suddenly on a weeknight would stir up trouble. He had to somehow explain it to his father. As much as he wanted to head straight for his room, he knew he would have to go to his father’s study. And as he expected, the family chauffeur told Kyoya his father wanted a word with him. Kyoya’s stomach knotted uncomfortably with nerves. He had sat through plenty of lectures in his lifetime, one more was a drop in a very full bucket.

The study was probably the room where Yoshio spent most of his time outside his work and home offices. He had made it a place to do work in a more relaxed environment, technically he was ‘off the clock’ but he continued to pour over documents, studies, and textbooks. Yoshio took it to heart that one never stopped learning and thus, he never did. Truly, there wasn’t a professional field that was done expanding its boundaries. It was usually in his study where he continued to learn, but more often than not he was finishing what he hadn’t accomplished in a normal day’s worth of work. 

The room was smaller than his home office yet contained most of Yoshio’s library. On the bookshelves that lined two of the walls, there were plenty of academic journals, novels, and of course textbooks. In fact, Yoshio had kept Yuuichi’s books from when he was in medical school. In the corner behind the door, there were a few filing cabinets for old documents and on top, a small frame which held a photo of Kyoya’s parents on their wedding day. The room was fairly tidy and organized, however since it was more private room Yoshio didn’t care to keep his papers in neat stacks or all of his pens in a holder. 

When Kyoya walked in through the already open door, he found his father at the desk that sat against the wall. He was in his casual clothing, something Kyoya rarely ever saw, and reading something online. Kyoya was still taking in the sweater vest and the slacks when his father noticed his entrance.

“Come, sit.”

Kyoya took to the wingback armchair sitting next to Yoshio’s desk.

“I heard you went to the Karaoke lounge.” Kyoya’s father said placidly. “You left rather suddenly?”

Kyoya swallowed discomfort and embarrassment. He couldn’t imagine what he looked like flying out the door, one hand holding his coat and the other with his phone calling for the car. “I had thought something more . . . concerning had happened.”

“At a karaoke lounge?”

Kyoya knew he shouldn’t turn away. His father’s gaze was intense and he needed to endure it for just a little longer. The problem was he didn’t have a response, so he ended up folding.

He heard a sigh from his father before he heard the desk chair moving. Kyoya turned his head back to his father and found that he was now directly in front of Kyoya. Yoshio had his hands folded in his lap and was leaning back into his chair. There was an air of encouragement that put Kyoya’s nerves on edge. His father never encouraged any sort of open conversation before. Kyoya had a feeling his father was trying to connect to him in some manner.

“I’ve been talking to Hitachiin Yuzuha-san,” Yoshio commented, “and she agreed to design me a custom suit for the next banquet at the hospital.”

Kyoya nodded and pretended to care about the words. What he was worried about was the meaning behind them, the context. He knew Yuzuha-san wouldn’t say anything about her and Kyoya’s previous conversations. However, he also knew she wouldn’t lie to Yoshio if he asked a direct question about Kaoru.

“I asked her if she had known our sons were spending a great amount of time with each other. She told me she was aware.”

Kyoya kept his mind intentionally blank. If anything, he thought about Kaoru’s flustered expression when Kyoya caught him staring at his lips.

“I wouldn’t want to make any assumptions about your relationship with the Hitachiin boy,” Yoshio didn’t meet Kyoya’s eye which was interesting, “but I would like you to explain it to me honestly.”

This was what Kyoya worried about. This exact situation he had been putting off in his head, sitting it far back in the recesses of his mind so he didn’t have to think about it. He was being foolish to think his father wouldn’t ask eventually. However, he was stuck in this situation and had to say something. He knew lying wouldn’t go over well and telling the truth would mean giving his father an advantage; an advantage to how the conversation would end, how Kyoya would proceed in the future. Kyoya didn’t want to give anything up to Yoshio. Certainly, he wouldn’t give up Kaoru.

“We’re close friends. We share plenty of interests including the host club and a large friend group.” Kyoya listed off carefully, dancing around the heart of the matter. “He’s helped me tremendously with projects for the club and I returned the favor in terms of helping him with coursework. Kaoru-kun has been a confidant in personal matters . . .”

Yoshio had closed his eyes while he listened to Kyoya. With Kyoya trailing off, a wistful smile appeared. “‘Friends.’” Yoshio echoed.

Kyoya kept his mouth shut. He wasn’t going to lie and respond, ‘ _friends, just friends_.’ However, Kyoya also wasn’t going to give Yoshio a direct answer even if it would annoy him.

“Kyoya, if I’m going to assume you and Kaoru are friends. From what I’ve gathered-” Yoshio reached to his desk and pulled out photos. “I would find this odd for a strictly platonic partnership.”

Kyoya took the photos, mindful to keep his hands from shaking. Kyoya recognized the top shots of the stack were directly off the club website or social media accounts. Kyoya gazed at the group photo taken in their renaissance outfits. There were multiple shots uploaded of this particular grouping. Some were silly and others serious. Of the five total taken, there was just one shot that showed the club breaking up and walking off. The main subject of the photo was to capture Tamaki slipping, his body mid-fall. Kyoya was sure almost everyone would have focused on Tamaki. Even the other hosts in the photo were doing other entertaining things candidly. From Mori in the process of sneezing, Hani’s face morphing into shock watching the King take a plunge, and Haruhi scowling, it was simply a memorable photo.

There was just one thing that was out of place. Kaoru was at the edge of the photo looking back to Kyoya. Under any other circumstances, it would have been seen as just a coincidence that Kaoru was looking to Kyoya. Most of the viewers if the photos hadn’t even noticed Kaoru, if the comments were anything to go by as Kyoya monitored them. Yet, between Kaoru’s reddened cheeks and Kyoya’s responding smirk obviously meant for Kaoru, it was hard to explain what about that small exchange caught on camera was platonic. 

Kyoya shuffled to the next photo. This one was a screenshot pulled directly from the Ootori’s home security footage. It was dated from when Kaoru had visited a while back, the night Kyoya went to the gala. It showed them standing for just a moment in the fourier together, a stupid smile plastered on both their faces and Kaoru’s hand on Kyoya’s arm. The next was a similar scene, but a different date. It was after Kaoru had visited so Kyoya could give him the broken tablet. Kyoya had accompanied him to the door and had stepped closer than what would have been considered friendly. Kyoya remembered he had whispered ‘be careful’ to Kaoru. The words were harmless, but the distance between the two and the soft gaze Kaoru had with his simpering upturned lips were even more damning.

The last bit of the stack were text receipts, quite a few of them. Kyoya read just the first line of the first page and felt his stomach lurch: 

_Oh, really? How about deep, passionate, intimate compliments? Does it suit your Shadow King better?_

He knew better. There was no explanation for his sloppy work. This could have been avoided if Kyoya had actually took precautions to prevent it. However, he also didn’t really want to hide his relationship with Kaoru. Even with the consequences and the promise Kyoya and Kaoru agreed on, he still wanted to be in a normal relationship. Maybe this was the work of self-sabotage. Regardless, he couldn’t read the rest of the text messages, not with how they made his stomach turn. 

He sat the stack on his lap and peered at his father wearily. “What do you want me to say?”

“The truth, as I’ve asked before.”

Kyoya mulled over his thoughts once more. He decided that not giving Yoshio a direct answer might make things worse in the long-run, even if his spiteful attitude said to do otherwise. “Kaoru and I aren’t in a defined relationship.” Kyoya grimaced. “What you’ve seen has been the extent of our relationship. Not platonic, but not fully romantic and not . . . sexual.”

His father was quiet for a long time. Kyoya hoped Yoshio believed him. There was an underlying tendency in Yoshio to simply disregard what a person was saying if they were completely honest. 

“Interesting.”

Kyoya hated that response. He want to vault off the chair and find something to do less humiliating than this conversation. There was a small desire to spit that word at his father and ask him what was so interesting about his relationship with Kaoru anyhow? He knew insolence wouldn’t be tolerated so he kept his lips clamped shut.

“I’ll have to admit I’m surprised,” Yoshio leaned to the side against the armrest. He placed a bent arm there and rested his head on his hand, “I had predicted you would have found a partner sooner than this.”

Kyoya was experiencing the same clusterfuck he felt when Yuuichi spoke with him. However, this time he was in better control of his outward appearance. He chalked it up to practice.

“I don’t mind your relationship with Kaoru-kun or any of the aspects of it.” His smile was cordial, something akin to Kyoya’s when he was hosting. “Just as I would advise you if you were dating anyone else, be sensible in public. I wouldn’t enjoy seeing pictures of you two in a tabloid.”

Kyoya wasn’t sure how to respond. It was a miracle if Yoshio was being completely serious. Kyoya half-wondered if this was a trick meant to lure Kyoya out of his comfort zone. Though, Kyoya asked anyways, “You’re not upset?”

“No, I’m not upset.” Yoshio rubbed his chin thoughtfully before adding, “In this context, I don’t care much for knowing others’ desires and who they find attractive. I’ve felt never disgusted by it nor did I feel as though I should be. To me, there really isn’t much difference between a heterosexual and a homosexual relationship. The only problem I see with homosexual relationships is not being able to have biological children.”

“Of course,” Kyoya said flatly. 

This made Yoshio chuckle. “I only wish to see the Ootori family prosper. As it stands, I have two married children with the capability to have children when they’re ready. Akito, once he’s found someone suitable, will be with Yuuichi and Fuyumi.”

Kyoya heard the unspoken alternative: _if you were my only child, I wouldn’t have been so accepting. It is only admissible now as it doesn’t interfere with my plans for the family._

“I know Kaoru-kun is a talented young man.” Yoshio stood from his chair. “Yuzuha-san has high hopes for him.”

Kyoya wanted scoff. He knew his father didn’t particularly care about whether or not Yuzuha-san had high hopes for Kaoru. His father rarely believed others’ words, preferring to see for himself. As always, Kyoya stayed quiet and didn’t argue. He stood allowing his father to see him out. Thank God, because he didn’t know if he could withstand that anymore.

.

.

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.

Haruhi, Hikaru, and Kaoru left their classroom for lunch. The trio chatted about the previous class, going over some of the topics as they walked. They exchanged questions and answers casually as they descended to the lunch room. They didn’t get very far before Hikaru started cracking inappropriate jokes to distract, both Kaoru and Haruhi told him to shut it. Hikaru smirked and crossed his arms behind his head.

They were planning on studying together sometime between then and examination week. Haruhi had been less than thrilled at the aspect of studying with the twins. To be fair, Kaoru knew that it would be hard to stay focused on their notes. It was very rare to spend time with Haruhi outside of school including club and he feared it would just end up with the three talking off-topic. As if they had met up to hang out casually instead of studying. Secretly, he hoped Haruhi would keep them on track, even if it would be a burden on her and take away from her time studying. He frowned at the thought. 

“What’s wrong?” Hikaru fell into step with Kaoru, letting Haruhi walk further ahead on her own.

“Do you think we should study with Haruhi?” Kaoru it his lip. “I don’t want to waste her time.”

“I’m planning on just studying. I don’t want to waste her time either.”

“Still . . .”

The halls started to fill up quickly with the sudden influx of students all heading to the cafeteria. The twins merged into the crowd and walked through the doorway into the large room. A lot of people had already grabbed a tray or something quick to eat and headed off to a study room or the library. Kaoru briefly noted how empty and quiet the cafeteria was than usual.

Hikaru smirked evilly, “Would you rather study with Kyoya?”

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind it,” Kaoru rolled his eyes, “but if you hadn’t noticed, he isn’t in our class. It would totally be a waste of time for him.”

“He’s helped you before with German? I don’t see why you can’t? Besides, I know that Kyoya would probably ace all of his exams without studying.”

The twins stepped in line, a few people behind Haruhi. Kaoru angrily took a tray out of the stack and turned to his brother. “Let Kyoya be the judge of that.”

“What am I judging?”

Both Hikaru and Kaoru jumped at Kyoya’s unexpected appearance. He stood out of line beside the twins, arms crossed, and looking tired. Kaoru saw sleepless night written in his expression.

“Nothing.” Kaoru responded quickly, annoyance coating his words. “What brings you to the cafeteria?”

Kyoya rarely ate lunch at Ouran. When Kaoru first started highschool, he noticed the rest of the host club but Kyoya ate together. Tamaki had explained that Kyoya was too busy reading or studying to sit and have lunch, much to the blond’s displeasure. It had always been that way since middle school, as far Tamaki could say. To see Kyoya there was already drawing attention from some of the host club’s clients. The girls spoke in hushed tones and giggled, stealing glances at the Shadow King. Kyoya completely ignored it.

“You.” Kyoya answered. “I need to speak with you.”

Kaoru’s mind spiralled into a million different scenarios, though Hikaru’s voice paused his internal panicking for a moment. 

“Well, what is it?”

Kyoya growled, “It’s none of your business. Kaoru?”

Kaoru stepped out of line and joined Kyoya. Hikaru’s mouth opened as if to say something, but Kaoru cut him off. “Stay out of it, for me. _Please_.”

Hikaru ran a hand through his dark hair. He wanted to protect, Kaoru knew. However, Kaoru had drawn the line. Where Kyoya was concerned, a lot of things were kept from Hikaru. It still bothered Kaoru to a certain extent, especially when he was involved but there were things Hikaru didn’t need to know. 

Without a response, Kaoru touched Kyoya’s elbow and nodded. They left the cafeteria.

.

.

.

.

Kyoya and Kaoru grabbed their coats and ventured outside for whatever talk Kyoya needed to have. Kaoru tried to withhold any feelings of panic until after he had heard what Kyoya had to say. It was easier to calm himself when the cold winter air hit his face. He took deep breaths savoring the icy burn he felt in his chest. 

Ouran’s campus was as neatly kept as always. However, the weather had done its damage on the flora. Technically it wasn’t winter yet, but it surely was cold enough. The once green trees were leafless, nothing but dull brown twigs pointing towards a gray sky. The perfectly manicured bushes mirrored the trees. The grass was also an ugly brown having died sometime between the end of September and the middle of October. The flowers had all but wilted and been pulled by the groundskeepers.

It used to make Kaoru sad seeing the bleak, cold landscape. He didn’t mind the cold, but the lack of color and the short days were terrible. 

Kaoru tore his eyes off the spanning gardens in front of him to Kyoya. Kaoru admired his pale skin and dark hair, a combination he was sure to never grow tired of. Kyoya looked great against the washed-out background. The black of his hair against the cloud-filled sky was like inky satin against steel-colored wool. Kaoru imagined the textures under his hands and sighed. Kyoya stole a glance from the side.

“That was a pretty heavy sigh?”

Kaoru didn’t lie. “I was admiring your hair.”

Kyoya was happily baffled. His lips quirked up with amusement.

“It’s so dark,” Kaoru’s voice dropped with a flush, “against your skin and the sky.”

Kyoya hummed contentedly. Kaoru suspected Kyoya was pleased at his words and perhaps his reaction to admitting them. Kaoru couldn’t help but blush harder. If anyone asked about his red face, he’d blame it on the chilly air. 

They continued to walk until they reached the rose garden. The bushes were still somewhat green like they were trying to hang on and continue blooming. Though, the vast majority were turning a dark brown. The two of them ventured deeper into the maze-like garden until they found the stone gazebo nestled into the hedges. They sat down at the small table inside.

“Kaoru . . . I don’t know exactly how to start this.” Kyoya began. “I don’t want you to be worried, truly. Though, I know you will be.”

It was rocky, but Kyoya was careful with his words. Kaoru took them to heart. He stood by his earlier resolve to stay calm until after Kyoya spilled the beans.

“After I left the lounge last night, my father sat me down and . . .” Kyoya’s mouth twisted. “He had photos of us, text messages we’ve sent to each other, and I-I should’ve known that he’d look.”

Kaoru was suddenly numb. All he could feel was a much greater chill rushing down his spine. He supposed he should have seen this coming as well. They weren’t careful when they were around each other. They didn’t try to hide their messages. Kaoru let his head fall. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize, Kaoru.” Kyoya reached for Kaoru’s hand under the table and squeezed gently. “I should have been the one to be more proactive.”

Kaoru looked up to Kyoya from under his eyelashes, “What did he say?”

“Nothing. He didn’t seem all too concerned.”

Kaoru’s head snapped up, “No fucking way.”

“Yes, fucking way.” Kyoya said fully intending the sarcasm in mimicking Kaoru’s tone.

At first, Kaoru snorted as Kyoya surprised a burst of laughter out of him. He tried to reign in the bubbling giggles that were fighting to be released. It was like a pot boiling over. Eventually, he lost the battle to his giggles. His hand clapped over his mouth, eyes wide as he fully started to heave with laughter. He hoped Kyoya didn’t think he had lost it. Though, as he watched Kyoya, Kaoru realized the same thing started to happen to Kyoya. Amazingly, Kyoya started to break into laughter as well. They were both lunatics, Kaoru decided. It was the first time Kaoru had heard Kyoya laugh like this. Of course, he had heard him chuckle before. There were a few times when he was with Tamaki that he might have had a proper laugh. What Kyoya was doing then was _loud_ and _bright_. It filled Kaoru with warmth. 

They ended up pressed against one another. Kaoru put his head on Kyoya’s shoulder and Kyoya, in turn, laid his head on top of Kaoru’s. Kaoru didn’t know how long they stayed like that. Whenever they were together time seemed to simultaneously speed up and slow down, so Kaoru was ever really sure. There were moments that could stretch a lifetime, like when they made the promise. Kyoya bent over him, mouth at his ear, and Kaoru wasn’t able to do anything. Kyoya waited for a beat, just a small amount of time in reality, Kaoru felt it stretch to last a lifetime before Kyoya spoke to him. Other times, often when he was at the Ootori estate, it seemed as if he really wasn’t there for very long despite the clock telling he had been there for hours. Time with Kyoya was different than time with anyone else.

“What are we going to do?” Kaoru asked. He didn’t want to break the moment, but it had to come to an end eventually. 

“The same as we’ve been doing. At least, we don’t have to worry about my family.” Kyoya still had his hand on Kaoru’s. Kaoru felt two quick pulses from Kyoya. “For now.”

“Do you think your father will change his mind?” 

“He might if it suits him better.”

Kaoru heaved a heavy sigh, “I thought we could . . . start dating?”

“Officially?” Kyoya looked down at Kaoru.

“Yeah, but-” Kaoru sat up and pulled away from Kyoya so he could face him, “I’m not so sure now.”

Kyoya nodded and looked away. He decided something his head after a few seconds of thought. “Would you like to continue as we were or go back to being strictly friends?”

“Keep the promise?” Kaoru felt childish. His words were rushed and whiny as if he were crying about losing his stuffed animal.

“If you want to.” Kyoya proposed, “I would like to keep the promise even if you want to replace some of the distance between us.”

Kaoru nodded vigorously. He then returned to Kyoya’s side and pressed harder against him. This wasn’t replacing distance, he knew. He wanted to experience the close physical contact while he could, because soon enough it’d be gone. It was taking the last sip of water in a drought and Kaoru was sure as hell not going to let it go to waste.

“Can we- Could we . . . ?” Kaoru fought for the correct wording, “seal the promise? We never did ‘ _make it official_ , _’_ ” Kaoru did air-quotations, “and maybe this is the perfect time. Now that we actually have to stick to it.”

Kaoru felt Kyoya’s chuckle through his and Kyoya’s coat. He set out to memorize how it felt and sounded through the layers. It was very soft against Kaoru’s cheek, barely noticeable. Yet, it sounded deep and muffled to the ear pressed against Kyoya’s shoulder. 

Kyoya shifted a little and brought a hand to Kaoru’s face, gently drawing circles with his thumb on Kaoru’s cheek. “What did you have in mind?”

Kaoru knew what he wanted and flushed all the more for his incredible decisiveness. “A k-kiss.”

He stumbled over the consonant. It was for his own ears to hear and he cringed at how much he sounded like a stupid lovestruck highschooler. It was also pretty lame asking Kyoya for a kiss when most things came naturally with Kyoya. At least, Kaoru never had to worry about how to approach emotional conversations, physical contact, or anything else in their relationship. They communicated well verbally and non-verbally which made a huge difference. Any of Kaoru’s previous encounters with partners were often too tense to have open communication. Kaoru knew Kyoya and therefore, he was much more comfortable speaking to Kyoya about his thoughts and letting them show. Afterall, their relationship started when Kaoru asked Kyoya to be someone he could talk to and Kyoya accepted. Though, it was still hard to try for something new. Kaoru hated asking then since after they left that rose garden, they had to act more closely to what they used to be: only friends. It was a tease, a little taste of something they couldn’t have again for a while.

But damn, if Kaoru wasn’t already frustrated with the teasing between them. The times when they were so close to brushing lips had made it even worse. He only wanted to know how it felt to kiss the Shadow King. 

At the request, Kyoya’s thumb stopped moving. It pulled a groan deep from his throat, “Kaoru.”

“I’m sorry. If you don’t want to, we don’t have to.”

“I never said that.”

Kaoru pressed his lips together anxiously, but also giddily. “I don’t want to wait.”

“Impatient Hitachiin, you’re predictable.” It had no bite, spoken reverently like he was paying Kaoru a compliment.

Kaoru buried his grin into Kyoya’s shoulder. He missed the banter. They’ve both been so busy most of their conversations revolved around school and club. The sharp decline in poorly veiled flirting had Kaoru achingly missing it.

“Kyoya,” He didn’t know what else to say. The name was spoken comfortably in his mouth and fit the pleading he was trying to convey. _Please, please, please_.

Kyoya lifted Kaoru’s head using a bent finger under his chin, their faces brought closer together. Kaoru smiled coyly at the faint blush dusted across Kyoya’s cheeks. He was proud that he was the one who put it there.

“Troublesome _and_ impatient.”

“I know you like it,” Kaoru said cheekily.

Kyoya growled. Kaoru shivered as he felt it through his side as Kyoya ensured the entire length of their bodies touched. His hand slipped from Kaoru’s and latched itself firmly on the inside of Kaoru’s thigh. Kaoru eyes shut without his permission as his body processed the different sensations. He didn’t think he could handle seeing whatever expression Kyoya wore. Not when Kyoya’s grip tightened slightly and Kaoru felt the warmth radiating from Kyoya’s palm while the ends of his fingers were chilled. It was too close to a certain area . . .

“Kaoru.”

Kaoru opened his eyes at his name. Kyoya’s gaze was intense, if not terrifyingly adoring. Kaoru skin burned, his face felt numb, and he forgot what he had asked for. How could he focus when Kyoya looked like he was about to devour him?

Then, Kyoya leaned in slowly. Kaoru’s heart stuttered and his head swam. Again, he wondered how Kyoya had such control over his body’s reactions. The thought was swiftly cut off by Kyoya’s lips. His eyes slipped shut once more and a sigh escaped him. The kiss was light, sweet, and short. Nothing but a simple brush of their lips. Kaoru’s chest hurt over how delicate it was and how soft Kyoya’s lips were.

Kyoya pulled back a little to see Kaoru’s beet red complexion. “Our promise is sealed.”

Kaoru hummed in agreement. His mouth didn’t want to cooperate to actually answer Kyoya. There were a few seconds filled with silence.

“Maybe one more to be certain?” Kyoya was already leaning in and this time, Kaoru met him half-way.

Their second kiss was a lot longer and both put more pressure into it. Kaoru angled his head to get a little bit closer to Kyoya. The hand Kyoya had used to tilt Kaoru’s face earlier slid back to Kaoru’s cheek then to his hair. Kaoru groaned as long fingers threaded through and pulled gently. Kaoru’s hands roamed as if they had a mind of their own. They reached for Kyoya’s trunk and went inside Kyoya’ unbutton coat. They slid past his uniform’s blazer. Unfortunately, as much as his hands wanted skin-to-skin contact, Kyoya’s button up shirt was tucked tightly into his slacks. Kaoru made do running his hands up and down Kyoya’s sides over the thin cotton barrier.

They parted again to catch their breaths before they crashed together another time.

The third kiss was uncontrolled, messy, and hot. Kaoru couldn’t get enough. His lips numbed with the amount of pressure. Surely, they would bruise. He felt hotter at the thought of walking back into class with messy hair and dark lips, knowing Kyoya would look the same. 

Kyoya switched arms. Using the one that had brought his hand to Kaoru’s face, he pulled the thigh his other hand was holding into his lap. The hand that had held Kaoru’s thigh went to guide Kyoya’s arm around Kaoru’s body pulling them even closer. Kaoru ended up with his leg bent and propped up on the curved bench they were sitting on. He was almost sitting in Kyoya’s lap with both of their trunks twisted so that their chests met. Kyoya absentmindedly ran his hand up and down Kaoru’s thigh that crossed over his body.

Kyoya growled again. This time, Kaoru’s mouth caught it and Kaoru couldn’t be more pleased with how it felt. He smiled into their many subsequent kisses.

.

.

.

.

Kyoya and Kaoru barely made it back to class in time. Kaoru had to make a shortcut through Ouran’s large auditorium, pass through the upstairs prop and costume room, and down the hallway to his classroom. On his way, a few students noticed his appearance gave questioning looks as he rushed past.

When Hikaru saw him, slightly disheveled and lips swollen, he glowered. He had been sitting on top of Kaoru’s desk waiting for him. Haruhi, sitting in the desk in between Hikaru and Kaoru’s, had her nose in a book and couldn’t be bothered to look up.

“So you skipped an hour-long lunch to make-out with him?” Hikaru whispered harshly as Kaoru slid by him.

“And?” Kaoru mirrored Hikaru’s tone. “We didn’t just make-out.”

Hikaru contemplated saying anything more as Kaoru took a seat. He dropped whatever he was thinking about, sighed and left to sit at his own desk. Haruhi, curious about the quiet and tense interaction between the twins, looked up. Her eyes fell on Kaoru’s face and her eyes widened. Kaoru caught her stare and she quickly went back to her book. Did he really look that bad? 

Kaoru pulled out his phone and opened the camera. He inwardly groaned at his appearance. Back when he had his lips locked with Kyoya’s, being seen like this was a huge turn on. Now that he was experiencing it, he only was embarrassed. Kyoya wasn’t any better. Kaoru saw the matching bruised lips when they stood in the garden just a few minutes longer trying to hang on to the moment for as long as possible. Though, Kyoya’s lips didn’t darken nearly as bad as Kaoru’s. 

His phone buzzed with a text message. 

Kyoya: _You know we have club today_

Kaoru almost screamed in frustration. Instead, he hit his head against his desk. He had forgotten that they would have to spend almost three more hours entertaining girls. 

“Kaoru?” Haruhi leaned over. “I don’t mean to be nosy, but are you okay?”

Kaoru wanted to tell Haruhi. More than ever, he wanted to tell her everything. She would probably listen better and be more mature than Hikaru. She would also keep whatever they spoke about between them. She could be trusted. Though, he still needed to speak to Kyoya about it. Kaoru needed to know if Kyoya was okay with Haruhi knowing. 

“I’m fine,” Kaoru said weakly. “Don’t worry about me.”

Kaoru quickly typed a message to Kyoya.

Kaoru: _end me_

Kyoya: _Tamaki didn’t notice_

Kaoru: _holy shit how?_

Kyoya: _He’s absorbed in trying to figure out how to ask Haruhi on a date*_

Kaoru: _haha of course_

“Are you sure?” Haruhi said leaning back into her seat. “It looks like someone tried to suck your lips off.”

Haruhi looked as uncomfortable saying that as Kaoru was having to hear it. He sighed, “I know I think we got carried away.”

“So, you were . . . you know?” Haruhi was trying to be sensitive and it was adorable. “I didn’t know you were seeing someone.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Oh,” Haruhi propped her head on her hand.

“If,” Kaoru paused trying to find the best descriptor, “who I’m seeing is okay with it, I’ll tell you more. But for now, you don’t have to worry about me.”

He gave her a reassuring smile when she didn’t look convinced. She didn’t pry any further. 

His phone buzzed in his hands.

Kyoya: _He’ll notice soon._

Kaoru: _that sounds ominous_

Kyoya: _He’s not stupid. He’ll ask questions . . ._

Kaoru stared at the ellipses and wondered what to do. If he told Haruhi and Kyoya told Tamaki, that would be everyone but Mori and Hani-senpai. Kyoya and Kaoru would probably have to tell them so they didn’t feel left out. What was more problematic was that he and Kyoya did _just_ promise to be friends from then until further notice. It would raise a lot more questions than Kaoru was willing to give answers for. Especially since Kyoya had a lot on his plate after Ootori-san had entered the mix.

Kaoru: _i think it would be best to wait and find another way to explain it. what’s the point in telling everyone when we said we be just friends?_

Kyoya: _You’re right. However, we can’t explain our appearances._

_God damn it._

Kaoru: _any suggestions?_

Kyoya: _Do you happen to carry make-up with you?_

Kaoru: _no, but i can see if there is any i can borrow from the drama club_

Kyoya: _Borrow?_

Kaoru: _i was going to put it back, i swear!!!!_

Kyoya: _Wily devil. If I catch something from shared make-up, I’m going to have to punish you_

Kaoru: _you forget punishment games are the twins’ forte and i thought we were supposed to be acting as_ FRIENDS

Kyoya: _I apologize. I hadn’t meant for it to sound so flirtatious_

Kaoru sent an emoji with a raised eyebrow showing his doubt.

Kyoya: _I can’t help myself sometimes._

Kaoru: _i’m rolling my eyes. they might roll out of my skull._

Kyoya: _Regardless, I am serious about catching something._

Kaoru: _dont worry. ive watched them get ready before. they had professionals come in to do their hair and make up. they’re careful about cleaning and making sure not to double dip lol_

Kyoya: _Disgusting. Well, I suppose it’s better than having to think up responses for the ladies today._

Kaoru: _exactly_

“Good afternoon, class.” Kaoru’s teacher came in and everyone began to stand to greet him.

  
Kaoru: _i’ve got to go. see you at club_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *AN: when Kyoya says Tamaki is trying to figure out how to ask Haruhi on a date, this doesn't mean they are a couple yet. In this part of the story, they still haven't acknowledged their feelings yet. However, Tamaki is still trying to spend time with Haruhi even if he isn't aware of his feelings. Kyoya, of course, sees through the whole thing and knows what's happening.


	10. "You've been watching closely."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha "Friday upload schedule" what's that? Obviously this author doesn't know what a calendar is.
> 
> I'm sorry for the hold up, but last week was busy and then I got sick of writing for a hot second and needed a break. I'm probably going to start with the time jumps (ha remember that whole shtick) possibly right after this chapter. sO GeT rEaDy ChiLdReN.
> 
> Just a reminder, there will be updates on my tumblr (anxtheroliveintheouse) so whenever I post a new chapter or will be late in posting, I'll make an announcement there. 
> 
> Summary will be updated ASAP, but I'm still trying to figure out how to write it. Thanks ~

The following afternoon after Kyoya and Kaoru’s meeting in the rose garden. The two met shortly before the host club opened and raided the drama club’s make-up. Kyoya watched curiously as Kaoru carefully cleaned the brushes to use with the lip products and found a new bag of sponges to use for foundation. He scoured the room before Kyoya arrived and sat a multitude of products onto the lighted vanity. He spent too long trying to match Kyoya’s lip to a nude lip tint which Kyoya gently but firmly told him to just pick a shade and go with it. Though, Kaoru did lift a swatch covered hand up to his face to check again and make a final decision. Kyoya could tell how frustrated Kaoru was with the selection. Indeed, the lipsticks and lip tints were bright colors and wouldn’t look natural. 

Kaoru spoke during the entire process. Often complaining that the colors were either too dark or too pink for Kyoya’s lips. Kyoya didn’t understand what Kaoru was grumbling about half the time, though he was amused by Kaoru adorable frustration. It was clear that Kyoya had very limited knowledge in this area. He knew of blush, eyeshadow, mascara, and lipstick. The other stuff he saw neatly labeled in drawers and baskets by color and brand were completely foreign.  _ Primer, foundation, concealer, contour, lip liner, falsies, eyeliner, brow pencils . . .  _ They were all unfamiliar except for highlighter. He learned what that was by seeing Kaoru’s cheeks dusted in it and he quite liked it. It added etherealness to Kaoru’s already soft, angelic cheeks as if he were glowing. However, let it be clear that despite that particular feature, he still had plenty of the trademark Hitachiin features which added mischievousness. 

After finishing Kyoya, Kaoru went in again to look for something himself. He had a much easier time finding a shade since his lips were naturally more pink than Kyoya’s. He fixed his bruised lips in a mere minute or so while it took him probably fifteen or twenty minutes on Kyoya. Kaoru sat back with a smug expression, looking at both of them in the mirror.

“I’m too good.”

Kyoya rolled his eyes, “Is the maestro done with his piece?”

Kaoru nodded taking a step back from the chair. Kyoya reached for the illuminated mirror and switched it off. The bright lights gave him a headache and despite voicing those concerns, Kaoru insisted they use it. Kyoya stood and thanked Kaoru with a small kiss on the cheek. 

Kaoru hissed at him, “You really need to control yourself.”

Kyoya smirked anyways.

“I’ll only allow it because your birthday is on Friday.”

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Without incident, Kyoya and Kaoru made it to Music Room #3 with time to spare. They both entered the room to see Haruhi, Mori-senpai, and Hani-senpai doing last minute tidying up before the guests arrived. Tamaki was presumably in one of the side rooms and Hikaru was on his laptop at one of the tables. Unexpectedly, Reiko-san was sitting on one of the loveseats watching Hani-senpai work. She wore a warm, charming smile as she gazed at Hani. She greeted Kyoya and Kaoru shyly, “Good afternoon, Kaoru-san and Kyoya-senpai.”

“Hey, Kanazuki-san.” Kaoru smiled. 

She smiled and tucked her chin. She was still very quiet around the host club, which was fine by Kyoya and everyone else. They still had mixed feelings about her since she did come off in the beginning as a possible threat to Hani-senpai. But, she had turned out to be pretty normal outside of her deep interest in black magic. Not to mention, she had become very devoted to Hani and the two seemed to be deeply in love. It would take some time for everyone to warm up.

“You’re late.” Hikaru grunted from the table.

Kyoya felt more than saw Kaoru drift from his side to Hikaru. He didn’t like the distance, but pushed the feeling aside. He had things to do and he didn’t want to be anywhere around Hikaru. Instead, he went to the side room to look for Tamaki. As expected, he was digging through the old club costumes and props. He knelt before a large trunk of neatly folded clothing and packaged accessories. Tamaki was careful to keep the clothing neat and organized as he took stuff out or put stuff in. Kyoya didn’t announce his entrance right away. He watched Tamaki silently for a few minutes before Tamaki caught his form, arms crossed, in the doorway.

“Hey,” He greeted, “are you just going to stand there without saying anything or ask me what I’m doing?”

“What if I do neither?”

Tamaki’s lips quirked up to one side, “I’ll tell you anyways. I’m looking for some inspiration for the cafe theme. We might be able to reuse old costumes.”

“Reuse? That’s a new word for you.” Kyoya commented sarcastically. “I wouldn’t worry about it when we can buy or rent uniforms.”

“Well . . .” 

Tamaki was quiet for longer than Kyoya expected. He uncrossed his arms and went to the host club king. He crouched down next to Tamaki and waited. Tamaki laid what looked like a wig from when the club (except for Mori) dressed as ‘sisters’ for Haruhi onto his lap. His eyes were fixated on the wall stubbornly.

“I thought we could save money,” He replied.

Kyoya heaved a sigh. He switched into a kneeling position instead of a crouch. “Why do you think it’s necessary?”

Tamaki flinched even with the gentle tone, “I . . . I know we talked about what happened at the fair last year.”

“Yes?”

“I just don’t want to sink this ship. I almost did and I don’t want it to ruin it for everyone. Do you understand?”

Tamaki was gazing at Kyoya intently. Kyoya understood. After hearing the complaints from the hosts and from their family members during the Ouran Fair, Tamaki had thought he was somehow forcing them to be in the club. As if anyone couldn’t see how much everyone in the club loved being in it, including Kyoya. He really didn’t care about the outlandish ideas and the excessive spending. In a way, it’s what made the host club fun and rewarding. Though, Tamaki didn’t see that. He almost went with Eclair and left the club to finish off the Fair without their King. Fortunately, Haruhi was able to get him back.

What Tamaki was worried about was single-handedly taking down the beloved club via debt. How could Tamaki even think to be worried about something that Kyoya would never let happen? It was hilariously idiotic. Kyoya was dimly aware of the grin on his face. He knew Tamaki might interpret it wrong, but they were close enough to expect their eccentricities to show through. 

“Did Haruhi suggest reusing the costumes?” Kyoya asked. Tamaki’s blush was more than enough of an answer.

“She grinned just like you did when I spoke to her about it.” Tamaki shut his eyes.

“Because she knows that I won’t let you sink the ship, Tamaki.” Kyoya cocked his head. “We’ve discussed this already, yes?”

Tamaki gave a curt nod, “I’m lucky to have you.”

Kyoya fought the urge to be sarcastic and respond with an insult. As often as Tamaki could gush and be sappy about the ones he cared for, the moment didn’t feel like any passing moment. Tamaki understood Kyoya’s quips were in good humor, but Kyoya didn’t want to break this moment.

He couldn’t help himself, however, and said, “You are . . . ,” then followed with, “thank you.”

Tamaki’s dark blue eyes landed on him and a slight smile came with it. “This is pointless anyhow.”

Kyoya hummed in agreement. The side room was full of costumes outside of this one trunk. To try to go through it all would be time consuming. Kyoya didn’t know how long Tamaki had been going at it before he walked in and Tamaki hadn’t even scratched the surface. There were uniforms that looked very cafe-esque and would be appropriate. However, Tamaki’s vision called for a more monochromatic uniform that was regal, distinguished, and classy while still being unassuming. The ones in club possession were more flashy and for show, such as the ones used at the Ouran Fair.

“I’m going to go open.” Tamaki stood and brushed off his pants, then gave Kyoya a hand. Tamaki switched to the question that had been on his mind undoubtedly all afternoon. “Will I get to meet the lucky someone who you shared a kiss with today?”

Kyoya nodded, “Oh, you’ll see them.”

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The club finished a little earlier that afternoon as the sun began to set. Winter was fast approaching and the days were shortening rapidly. As much as Kyoya and enjoyed colder weather, he did not like the dark days. It always made him lethargic in the evenings. He might be a night owl, but his body never failed to desire sleep at seven o’clock in the evening.

The hosts hung around for a few minutes afterwards cleaning up or chatting. Hani-senpai waited for Reiko-san to return from the black magic club so they could leave together. The twins sat at their favorite window spot and watched the world outside. They continued to keep a perfectly mirrored pose of each other without meaning to, both seemingly lost in their thoughts. Tamaki wasn’t much better, but it was normal for him to have his head in the clouds. Mori was quietly working on his university work. Everything was as it should be.

Kyoya was across the table from Mori working on his own projects as well. He was checking the International stocks for anything interesting, only finding the Ootori group had ended their business day on a high note. Otherwise it was dismal for large American companies and overall stagnant everywhere else.  _ Pitiful _ , in Kyoya’s opinion. 

“My beloved!” Reiko-san had rushed into the room wearing a long black velvet cloak that whipped around as she descended on Hani-senpai. She had changed out of her school uniform after saying goodbye to Hani before club started. She now wore a teacup dress with plenty of black lace and skulls. Her knee-high socks were blood red and contrasted against her perfectly white Mary Jane shoes. It made Kyoya think of a scary doll. 

“Did you miss me? I missed you.” Hani-senpai blushed and accepted the hug Reiko offered wordlessly.

“Of course,” She smiled. “Did you have fun in club? I’m sorry I couldn’t stay today.”

“Yeah, we were able to try a new matcha cake. But I wished you could have stayed.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself and the matcha cake despite my absence.” She turned and approached Kyoya and Mori. “May I sit here?”

Mori nodded and Kyoya replied, “You may.”

She took a seat and Hani did the same. They continued to talk with each other while Kyoya and Mori worked. Haruhi had also pulled her laptop out and invited Tamaki over to study with her. It seemed that it was one of those days when everyone stayed behind to finish homework instead of going straight home.

Nothing particularly notable happened for about forty-five minutes and at that point, Kyoya finished everything he needed to. His attention instantly went to Kaoru and noted the twins were whispering again. Kyoya couldn’t help but notice how much it reminded him of the day Kaoru confessed. His chest warmed at the memory slowly diffusing and filling up his mind. It wasn’t as coherent as most of Kyoya’s memories as he was perhaps just as nervous as Kaoru was. Kyoya hadn’t expected a confession from him. He thought his feelings were unrequited. There certainly wasn’t any impression that Kaoru had an interest in guys. Afterall, Kyoya wasn’t in the dark about Kaoru’s feelings for Haruhi. He knew about the outing the two had and Kyoya was certain Kaoru confessed to her. It had Kyoya gauge Kaoru as mostly straight with only the slight possibility of being bisexual.

Yet, Kaoru was full of surprises. His memory of that moment,  _ the  _ conversation, was in small bits and pieces. Things like the way Kaoru’s face reddened as his eyes filled with tears, his eyelashes sticking with teardrops. Kyoya had an extremely crystal-clear recollection of wanting to hold Kaoru, wanting to kiss the tears away. Yet, he held himself back because he was sure it would be overstepping. He hadn’t even confirmed his own feelings, only soothing Kaoru and making sure he wasn’t upset when he left. Kaoru returned to Kyoya later that week full of Hitachiin confidence and hellbent on teasing Kyoya. Kyoya nearly kissed him then, wanting to take the devilishly coy smirk off his lips. Seeing Kaoru back down with surprise when he crowded in closer and whispered his plan to him. It was an image fully cemented in his mind. With his forehead against Kaoru’s, Kyoya could drown into his wide amber eyes and feel the warmth of his deep blush. Kyoya thought about it a lot. Maybe too much when his hand traveled down to relieve himself. 

Kyoya’s little daydream was ended when Hikaru slipped off the window sill and headed to him. Kyoya’s mood soured considerably.

“Can we talk?” Hikaru asked. Kaoru had followed him, a frown pulling at his features. Hikaru held out an arm blindly pushing him back. “Alone.”

“Hikaru.” Kaoru spat. “What are you doing?”

“Something I should have done last night.” 

Kaoru was ready to fight, Kyoya could tell by the way his shoulders tensed and he took in a quick, deep breath. His face spoke volumes on its own with his brows drawn together and his lips pressed into an angry line. He was trying to protect Kyoya. As much as it hurt Kyoya’s pride in his abilities to handle the situation, it was also endearing the way Kaoru wanted to defend him.

“Let’s step into the hallway.” Kyoya suggested cooly. 

Kaoru sputtered, “K-Kyoya!”

Kyoya closed his laptop. He was deliberately slow with his movements. Kaoru shifted anxiously watching them both. Kyoya shook his head to tell Kaoru not to interfere. Kaoru anger left him and morphed to shock. 

Kyoya and Hikaru walked towards the door. Kyoya heard Reiko-san whisper to Hani-senpai asking if something was wrong. Kyoya didn’t hear or see what Hani’s response was because at that point the door to Music Room #3 had shut.

Kyoya put a hand on his hip and planned to address Hikaru. However, Hikaru moved before Kyoya could utter a single word. He bowed to Kyoya. Kyoya recognized it as apologetic, deeply so with how low Hikaru went. 

“I apologize for last night.”

Kyoya was silent just long enough to take a breath and exhale. He took in the underclassmen warily. “You didn’t have to do- . . .”

“No, I didn’t have to. I wanted to.” Hikaru cut him off. “What I did was unacceptable to you as a friend and to Kaoru as a brother. I was completely wrong to use your relationship with Kaoru as a joke. I deeply regret my actions.”

“You don’t need to apologize to  _ me _ .” Kyoya clarified.

Hikaru straightened back up. “I tried to apologize to Kaoru. He was more worried about you.”

Kyoya looked away, facing towards the door to the music room. He wanted to go back inside and shake Kaoru out of putting Kyoya before himself. In a way, it was terrifying how easily Kaoru put his needs aside for Kyoya. “Of course . . .”

“I’m trying,” Hikaru said earnestly. “I hate hearing him gloss over what he’s feeling. I’ve asked him to be honest with me about it, but he gives me half-answers- even before last night. And I . . . took it out on you.”

Kyoya sighed, “He really hasn’t been as forthcoming with me either, at least not as much as I had expected.”

Hikaru was thoughtful. He had a similar guilty expression as he did the night before. It made him look younger than sixteen.

“I accept your apology,” Kyoya said in the silence that fell between them. Honestly, it was on second thought. Kyoya’s mind centered solely on Kaoru and nothing else.

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The week flew by and before long, Kyoya’s birthday had arrived. Luckily for the hosts who arranged the celebration, it was on a Friday which meant a short weekend getaway. The hosts booked a large cabin to have a camping trip in. Haruhi pointed out that it wasn’t really camping if they were going to be staying in a cabin. Regardless, Kaoru was excited to celebrate away from home and give his gifts to Kyoya. It would be the first time he was going to give something individually. Of course, he did get a nice pair of wireless headphones with Hikaru to give publically, but Kaoru knew his personal gifts were going to be better than the headphones.

The group piled into a van for the occasion. The camping grounds were about a couple hours away. The host club left right after school hoping to make it before dark. They all chatted excitedly with each other for a good thirty minutes before turning their attention to different things. The twins put matching headphones and blasted music for the remainder of the journey. Hani-senpai fell asleep against Mori-senpai who gazed out the window. Haruhi and Kyoya read. Tamaki was on his phone. It was peaceful until they arrived.

They had to gently wake Hani-senpai in fear of his wrath. Mori-senpai helped with his calming and deep-timbre voice. The twins helped unload everyone’s baggage while Kyoya and Tamaki went to check-in at the front office. Haruhi had an unexpected call from her father and stepped away for a few moments.

They settled down as darkness fell. The twins went for setting up a bonfire which the hosts agreed to as it was freezing outside. They took some blankets from the cabin’s linen closet and settled around the seating area with the firepit in the middle. They also brought a radio out which played softly in the background. They did nothing but talk over the fire before Hani suggested roasting marshmallows. Thankfully, Kyoya had thought to bring some and so they all sat around toasting marshmallows into gooey messes.

Kaoru watched over the fire as Kyoya let his marshmallow turn into a fireball. 

“Kyoya!” Tamaki cried next to him. “Why’d you do that for?”

Kyoya shrugged, “I don’t particularly like marshmallows.”

“You might like them toasted,” Tamaki countered.

It led to the two bickering while the rest of the hosts observed contentedly. Kaoru was only partially paying attention. He was too focused on how he would present his gifts to Kyoya later on that evening. He didn’t want to wait until tomorrow like everyone had planned. He was planning on sneaking to Kyoya’s room once Hikaru fell asleep to give Kyoya his gifts. 

“Hey,” Hikaru leaned against him to get Kaoru’s attention, “let’s get the sparklers.”

Kaoru nodded and left the confines of his very warm blanket. He hugged himself bracing against the cold November air. They trekked back to the cabin and into the kitchen. The box they were looking for was sitting on the kitchen counter and was simply labeled ‘FUN STUFF.’ They went through the contents looking for the more tame items, knowing if they let off any of the bigger fireworks they might get kicked out.

They returned to the firepit with a couple arm-fulls of firecrackers and sparklers. The host club dived in. They made shapes in the air and captured the moments with long-exposure features on a camera. They even did some with slow-motion. Kaoru was sure that Kyoya would post them on the club’s social media. 

Once ten o’clock rolled around, the fire had died down considerably and the hosts were having trouble keeping their eyes open. Kaoru took the opportunity to get Hikaru into bed so he could set his plan in motion. Everyone else retired as expected. Kaoru came into the shared living space again under the rouse that he had forgotten (intentionally left) his bag so he could check on Kyoya who lingered in the kitchen. He then rushed back to his and Hikaru’s room grab the bag where his gifts were hidden. He looked to Hikaru, snuggled under a mountain of blankets on the queen sized bed, to make sure he was sound asleep which he most certainly was. When he left the room, Kaoru stopped at each door to listen for any movement from the other hosts who seemed to be winding down or completely asleep.  _ Perfect. _

Kaoru soundlessly padded back to the kitchen. Kyoya stood at the sink with his back to Kaoru. He was refilling his reusable water bottle. Kaoru came around the kitchen island to stand beside Kyoya. 

“Hey,” Kaoru said meekly.

Kyoya was in the process of taking a swig of water. His eyes darted to Kaoru and after swallowing, he responded, “I didn’t think you’d come back.”

Kaoru shrugged and held up the bag. “I had to give the birthday boy his gifts.”

“You’re giving them to me now, so I’m guessing they are extra special?”

_ Oh, they are. Or at least, I hope they are to you, _ Kaoru thought.

“Well,” Kaoru grinned, “You had to get something on your actual birthday and . . .” Kaoru lowered his voice as if there were someone in the room with them, “I didn’t want to give my gift to you in front of everyone.”

Kyoya took the bag from Kaoru and peered inside. He emptied the contents one by one onto the counter. There were five small boxes and an envelope inside. Kaoru bit his lip to keep himself from spoiling the surprise. It was a bit awkward to watch Kyoya so intently and Kaoru hoped it didn’t make Kyoya uncomfortable. Though, Kaoru couldn’t take his eyes off Kyoya. He wanted to see every little reaction Kyoya had to his gifts. He had to make sure Kyoya was satisfied with them.

Kyoya opened the envelope and pulled the two pages out. The first page was short and sweet note wishing Kyoya a happy eighteenth birthday. The second page, the one Kaoru wasn’t sure how Kyoya would take, was a page torn out of Kaoru’s sketching notebook. Kyoya’s finger ran along the frayed edge where it had once been attached to the notebook rings unconsciously. The page featured a sketched and colored Kyoya in his signature arms crossed, feet together pose with his clipboard and notebook dangling loosely from his hand. He wore a playful grin and a Ouran uniform. It had taken Kaoru only a couple of afternoons to do. As much as he wanted to do a perfectly captured, realistic portrait, he had only thought of giving Kyoya a sketch at the last minute. His notebook had more than a few of Kyoya, but he was too self-conscious to reveal that fact or any of the actual drawings to Kyoya.

Kaoru waited as Kyoya’s eyes roamed the page he held. Kyoya stared for a long time before looking up. His gaze was warm and blanketed Kaoru with a sense of achievement. Kyoya had liked the drawing.

“You’ve been watching closely,” Kyoya deduced and allowed his eyes to look back to the page.

“I always do.”

Kyoya’s eyes flicked back to Kaoru. The gaze that time was more than warm. It was molten and predatory. Kaoru shivered despite the heat on his cheeks. He quickly cleared his throat because he feared that Kyoya might just stop there and not finish opening the rest of his presents. “There’s more.”

Kyoya pulled his gaze from Kaoru over to the five small boxes that sat on the counter. He picked one up at random and opened it. Inside there was a shiny, gleaming pair of cufflinks. The pair was silver and had a ruby as its main feature. Kyoya was still again taking in the fact that Kaoru had bought him more cufflinks. Kaoru couldn’t help but smile so wide it hurt. 

“There’s more.” He repeated with a giggle.

Kyoya moved as if he were in a daze. The next box held another pair of cufflinks. This time they were gold and emerald with a braided design around the edges. Kyoya reached for another box that held a pair of cufflinks that were all black and featured an extremely dark stone at the center. The fourth box’s cufflinks were silver and had an art deco design on the face showing off Kyoya’s initials ‘KO.’ The last box had cufflinks that were most like his favorite pair he had lost. They were black and gold with a very familiar rose-like pattern, but lacked the unique rose design around the edges and the Ootori name on the face. 

“I tried to make that pair as much like the ones you described to me. I wasn’t able to use your name, though. I had to get permission from your father since your family name is trademarked of all things, but you can understand why I didn’t do that.”

Kyoya sat the last box down with the other opened ones. “Kaoru,” he choked.

“If you don’t like any of them, I can take them back and have them redone.”

Kyoya looked incredulous, “No. No . . . I like them.”

“Good, I’m glad.” Kaoru let the tension out from his shoulders.

Kyoya reached out to Kaoru. It was a silent request and Kaoru immediately accepted by wrapping his arms around Kyoya. They stood in the kitchen for a long time embracing. Kaoru buried his face into Kyoya’s shoulder and sighed at the scent of Kyoya’s clothing. His jacket that he wore outside had a lingering smell of smoke from the bonfire. Underneath the smokeyness, Kaoru could smell Kyoya’s cologne, the smell of his room, and his natural scent. The combination was heavenly.

Before long, Kyoya had gently pulled away from Kaoru.

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Kyoya was enjoying his birthday night. He had at first been unsure about leaving town for the weekend since it was the first time he had ever done so. He thought that maybe his father wouldn’t approve of it, but it turned out he was leaving town as well and would be gone for a couple of weeks or so. Kyoya’s mother, who called from Canada, had given her blessings for the trip. She had been very receptive, only giving him one condition: be safe. The hosts had their usual amount of security with them so that wasn’t too much of a problem. Kyoya’s entourage was staying in the cabin next door. Hani and Mori-senpai’s staff, which could probably protect all of the club with their insane martial arts training, stayed in the cabin on the other side.

Though, as the night wound down, he found that the normal amount of excitement was missing. The hosts were tired as it was probably past most of their bedtimes and the short amount of travel was weighing on their eyelids heavily. The twins packed up their (most likely illegally-bought) fireworks from overseas and the rest of the club went to their respective bedrooms, Tamaki included. However, he wanted to stay up and continue being good company to Kyoya. He insisted that his eighteenth birthday should be more spectacular than just a bonfire and then bed.

“We could stay up and swap scary stories?” Tamaki suggested. He was already tucked into bed like a toddler with his phone in hand and attached to the charger.

Kyoya sat across Tamaki on the other twin bed in the room. He put his phone on the charger and debated whether he should put on his pajamas. “I’m afraid the only scary stories I have are of you.”

Tamaki groaned, “Kyoya, I’m not that bad . . . Am I?”

Kyoya grinned and put his phone on the table placed between his and Tamaki’s bed. “No, but I know the embarrassment is scary enough for you.”

Tamaki blushed and pulled the covers over his head. “Fine, I get it. You want me to go to bed.”

“Only if you want to.”

Tamaki huffed then fell quiet. Kyoya stood and drifted towards the door. He took one last look at his best friend and left. 

In the living room, he had left a bag with his outdoor ‘equipment,’ if you could even call it that. It held his reusable water bottle, a waterproof case to hold his phone and other important things he carried on his person, sunscreen and insect repellant, and a map of the hiking trails in the area. He figured he might as well take it just in case the hosts thought a little hike in the woods suited their fancy. At the moment, he only wanted the water bottle so he pulled it out and went to the sink to fill it up. He heard someone walk into the room and then leave suddenly, but didn’t look to see who it was.

He filled his water bottle up and then brought it to his mouth to take a drink. He felt a presence to the right of him, but didn’t pay any mind to it until he heard a small, “Hey.”

It startled him at first. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kaoru stand with a gift bag. Kyoya had thought he went to bed like the rest of the hosts, looking just as exhausted as everyone else. “I didn’t think you’d come back.”

Kaoru shrugged sheepishly. He brought the bag up to Kyoya’s chest and smiled way too innocently for what he said, “I had to give the birthday boy his gifts.”

Kyoya felt a small tendril of excitement curling in his gut. He was surprised by its presence. It had been some time since he had ever felt such a thing, maybe since he was a child. Yet, Kaoru seemed to stir up the very childish feelings with the same amount of newness as if he were experiencing them for the first time. “You’re giving them to me now, so I’m guessing they are extra special?”

“Well, you had to get something on your actual birthday and . . .” Kaoru was sporting a rather large grin and Kyoya could help gush inwardly at how adorable Kaoru was when he was excited. Kaoru finished with a soft voice, “I didn’t want to give my gift to you in front of everyone.”

Kyoya’s curiosity was piqued. He couldn’t help but to take the bag from Kaoru and begin looking through it. He pulled out the envelope and five boxes and sat them on the stretch of counter between them. He went for the envelope first. Inside, Kyoya unfolded the two pages and read the note Kaoru placed first:

_ Happy Eighteenth! I’m glad I get to spend it with you this weekend. Hope you enjoy! _

_ (PS My mom helped me with the gifts in the boxes and I was obligated to tell you. She says ‘Happy Birthday.’) _

_ Love, Kaoru _

Kyoya made a mental note to send Yuzuha-san a thank you card. He then shuffled to the second page and his mouth instantly dried. It was a drawing of him. Kaoru had actually drew  _ him _ . It wasn’t realistic, more cartoonish with the flair that a designer would have sketched. Kyoya took in all the details and knew that either Kaoru was studying him discreetly or he had already memorized every feature of his. Kyoya’s mind was pulled back to the sketch notebook underneath his nightstand. The one he filled with his own sketches and designs. He pushed the drawings of Kaoru he had done out of his mind, knowing he would blush at the thought.

“You’ve been watching closely.” He was unable to keep his eyes off the careful lines and colors.

“I always do.” Kaoru responded honestly.

Kyoya’s chest ached with the amount of heat that filled him. There was something about knowing the one you desired seemed to desire you in return. The idea of having Kaoru’s eyes on him all the time was highly appealing. Kyoya felt a selfish desire to be the only one on whom Kaoru held his attention. The emotions burning within him were enough to tear his eyes of the drawing and onto Kaoru. Kaoru reddened at his gaze and Kyoya had to stop himself from pointing it out. 

Kaoru coughed, “There’s more.”

Kyoya would have forgotten. The only gift Kyoya was most focused on was the person who stood in front of him. So he grabbed one of the boxes and opened it. At the sight of cufflinks nestled inside, he was swamped with emotion again. It was bittersweet in a way. Kyoya wasn’t sure where the sadness was coming from, but nevertheless he was stunned and very much delighted by the gift. Kaoru urged him on to keep opening the boxes. Again and again, more beautifully designed cufflinks gleamed in front of Kyoya. 

He knew he shouldn’t be too surprised. Kaoru had known of Kyoya’s shortage of cufflinks and really he should have expected it. However, Kyoya didn’t expect a lot of Kaoru. At least, Kyoya would say he didn’t expect much from his friends, including Kaoru, he only wanted their friendship. Even though they could afford to spend lavish amounts of money every year on their friends for their birthdays, Kyoya didn’t need or require such to keep the friendship. With Kaoru, Kyoya only wanted unconditional companionship. To see that Kaoru had graced him with thoughtful gifts, no matter how obvious it was, it still made Kyoya extraordinarily happy.

“I tried to make that pair as much like the ones you described to me. I wasn’t able to use your name, though. I had to get permission from your father since your family name is trademarked of all things, but you can understand why I didn’t do that.”

Kyoya wanted to laugh. He could have told Kaoru that himself, but it must have slipped his mind. Then again, he hadn’t expected the cufflinks. The only thing that did come out of his mouth was, “Kaoru.”

“If you don’t like any of them, I can take them back and have them redone.”

“No. No . . . I like them.”  _ How could I not? You helped make them. _

“Good, I’m glad.”

Kyoya held his arms out for Kaoru who readily took the opportunity to hug Kyoya. He buried his face into Kyoya’s shoulder while Kyoya just held on tightly. Kyoya realized that he still had yet to thank Kaoru for the gifts. He gently pulled away. Kaoru had at first resisted but eventually got the hint that Kyoya wanted to step back. Kaoru looked up to him and Kyoya was met with large incredulous eyes. 

“Thank you, Kaoru.” Kyoya placed a hand on Kaoru’s cheek. “They’re amazing.”

Kaoru smiled widely. “You know my mom has been pestering me about them for the past two weeks.”

“Of course.”

Kaoru mimicked Kyoya and placed a hand on Kyoya’s cheek. “I want to kiss you.”

Kyoya almost groaned in frustration. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself. “Why must you tease?”

“I’m not trying to. It’s just something I really want.”

Kyoya couldn’t help but grin, “I will only go as far as you want me to go.”

Kaoru groaned and let his head fall back onto Kyoya’s shoulder. “I’ve totally overlooked a pretty big problem outside of your father knowing.”

Kyoya made a little questioning noise.

“You’d be kissing a minor, Ootori.”

Kyoya cringed hard. He had forgotten that little tidbit. It really hadn’t settled in that he was an adult and now everyone but him, Mori and Hani-senpai were children in the eyes of the law. 

Kaoru laughed, “Though, I think kissing is okay. But anything that’s heavy petting and further might give you a sentence.”

“Maybe we should ask Mori-senpai,” Kyoya joked, but Kaoru scrunched his nose up. “I was only joking. Besides, I also forgot about age of consent . . . somehow.”

“Damn, maybe I shouldn’t have reminded you.”

Kyoya hummed again, agreeing sarcastically.

“I suppose now wouldn’t be a great time to make an ‘I’m into older men’ joke, would it?”

“Absolutely not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To limit the amount of confusion: I jumped onto the hc train that Mori will be a pre-law student in university so when Kyoya says 'ask Mori about age of consent laws', he's joking about Mori being pre-law.


	11. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Panic attacks, traumatic experience (very important!).
> 
> If you'd like to skip these scenes, read all to the way until you get to the italicized text and then skip to the break in the text (four dots/periods indicating change in POV to Kyoya)
> 
> Please read the end notes for my usual banter text (I suggest you read the chapter first bc spoilers).

“There’s a lot more people here than I realized.”

Kaoru stood watching around the corner at the line of girls. They had been waiting for the club to officially open since school ended and had been waiting for roughly half an hour. Kaoru felt the smugness coming from Kyoya who leaned against the wall behind him. Kaoru turned back to him. Kyoya had his eyes closed and a smirk plastered across his face.

“Should I even ask you if you prepared for such a turn out? You did, didn’t you?”

Kyoya nodded his head and opened his eyes. There was excitement there as his fingers danced across the back of Kaoru’s. It was a call to return to the matter at hand: receiving the food from the cafeteria. They had to have all the fresh food that couldn’t be made at Ouran to be shipped in and picked up at the dock behind the cafeteria. Kyoya, of course, volunteered Kaoru to go pick it up with him as the other hosts prepared everything inside the club. They were stuck with moving tables and chairs into a layout similar to a restaurant and setting up the heavy table on which Mori-senpai and Hikaru would make the coffee. It was going to be quite the show, Kaoru realized.

He flushed from the tickling touch of Kyoya’s fingertips and followed him to the back stairwell. They took the long way to the cafeteria knowing that they might be stopped by a group of girls. They were certainly hiding out around the school, looking for the hosts to make an appearance. He and Kyoya were in the uniforms that Kaoru had somewhat designed for this event. They wanted to keep the uniforms as a surprise and do a grand reveal once everything was ready.

Kaoru was excited to see something he had a hand in designing finally be worn. It really wasn’t his design completely, however. Trying to design and make all the hosts’ uniforms in such a short amount of time was impossible. So, he sent his sketches to a uniform company nearby. Luckily for the club, both Yuzuha and Suoh-san knew the CEO personally and said CEO was able to pull some strings and collect the different pieces needed for the event. Despite not being able to fully create the pieces with Tamaki’s guidance, the CEO, Kobayashi-san, was still impressed with his sketches. The praise stayed with Kaoru for a long while.

When the uniforms arrived a couple days ago, Tamaki cried with delight when he saw them. They were exactly what he had imagined, Tamaki had exclaimed. He thanked Kaoru with a giant hug, to which Kaoru reminded him that he really hadn’t been that much involved. Tamaki hadn’t cared, he was too busy suffocating Kaoru. 

With a quick fit test a couple of days prior, Hikaru and Kaoru assured the club that the uniforms were a good fit and so, they waited until they could show them off. Everyone was practically antsy with anticipation for club that day. Even Haruhi was excited for the event and didn’t nearly complain as much as she would. Once school officially ended, they descended on Music Room #3. Everyone put on their uniforms and took a few pre-event photos for the club’s Instagram. Renge promised Kyoya she wouldn’t upload the photos too soon lest the surprise be ruined. 

The uniform consisted of black slacks, a clean and perfectly starched white button up, a black tie, a dark gray suit vest with a faux chain for a pocket watch, and shiny black Oxfords. Hikaru and Kaoru added their own flair to the outfits without permission, but what was new? A few rings and a simple pair of earrings weren’t going to ruin the look. Actually, the twins had carefully selected the few bits of jewelry they did add to make sure it wasn’t too flashy. They were supposed to be butler-like and surely a butler wouldn’t be wearing extremely gaudy pieces. Though, Kyoya had rolled his eyes at the boys’ additions while Tamaki questioned why they even bother. Not that it had really mattered. It wasn’t like the girls were going to necessarily care either way. 

All Kaoru could think about is how spectacular Kyoya looked in his uniform, but  _ again _ what was new? Of course, Kaoru thought Kyoya looked good. He looked good in really anything, even with his less than ideal fashion sense. Kaoru knew there wasn’t a single shred of hope for Kyoya since he had no idea how to dress casually. He could dress up, but never down, and thankfully he had Kaoru there to help steer him in the right direction. Kaoru absolutely enjoyed when Kyoya texted him at random times and asked for his opinion on what he should wear to certain places. Kaoru was more than happy to oblige. It opened up the fun little banter he loved so much. Kaoru often teased that Kyoya should just hire him as a stylist and he wasn’t going to keep doing it for free. Of course, payment was always flexible . . . Or Kaoru wished it was. Kyoya reminded him that they were both supposed to play nice.

Currently, Kaoru had his eyes on Kyoya and continued to mull over how great he looked. The tight-fitting slacks were going to be the death of Kaoru. He didn’t stop his eyes from lingering on Kyoya’s backside as they walked. He slowed down enough to keep the view and bit his lip. There was a hum of appreciation caught in his throat, but he wouldn’t let it out for fear of getting caught. But he must have been obviously ogling since Kyoya reached for him and forced him to walk side-by-side with a tight, guiding arm around Kaoru’s shoulders. Kaoru fought back by placing his hand over Kyoya's left buttocks, squeezing lightly. He liked what he felt.

There was amusement coming from Kyoya as well as faux annoyance. “Troublesome devil,” Kyoya rumbled into his ear.

He didn’t let Kaoru hold his hand there for very long, instead pulling Kaoru’s hand to his waist by the wrist. It was fine by Kaoru as it allowed him to press himself again Kyoya as they walked, Kyoya’s arm around his shoulders and Kaoru’s around Kyoya’s waist. 

Kaoru let his bottom lip go from between his teeth and smirked. He looked at Kyoya from under his eyelashes coquettishly. “Don’t tell me you dislike it?”

“You’re being unfair.”

Kaoru huffed, “Fair is subjective.”

Kyoya slowed down which caused Kaoru to slow as well. Kyoya had his eyes closed again and took a deep breath. Kaoru watched as Kyoya’s face showed his struggle with patience. Kaoru might have felt bad if he were a different person. However, he was a Hitachiin through and through. He liked teasing Kyoya. He liked draining his patience for the sole purpose of trying to make Kyoya cave and do what Kaoru wanted. It was like a game, a very fun game. Kyoya didn’t have too much patience, but he did have resolve, strong willpower, and stubbornness. It meant that Kyoya would direct his frustrations elsewhere to avoid giving into Kaoru.

“You’re not going to win.” Kyoya sounded murderous, but Kaoru could tell he was trying to scare him away from misbehaving.

“Winning is what Hitachiins do best.” Kaoru reminded Kyoya. “I’ve heard I can be persistent, even from you.” 

Kyoya groaned. His grip on Kaoru’s shoulder tightened. “I’m not going to make it through the school year at the rate you're going.”

Kaoru’s devilish smile appeared. He couldn’t be happier with the honest confession. 

“Please,” Kyoya pleaded softly. Kaoru wasn’t sure what he was asking for. He knew Kyoya probably meant it to be a request to stop, but it sounded like a plea for more. Kyoya couldn’t deny how much he wanted to do something. Kaoru saw it written across his face, whether it be to kiss, embrace, or more. He saw it in Kyoya’s body language, all the way down to his dilated pupils.

“Please?” Kaoru taunted. “Please, what?”

Kyoya’s eyes were dark. Kaoru was suddenly aware that he might have pushed too far. The air around them changed drastically. Kaoru swallowed nervously, feeling his throat click dryly. “Kyoya?”

Kyoya half-turned, his head swiveling around as if he were looking for something. Kaoru being as dull as he was sometimes realized too late what his dear Kyoya searched for.And unluckily for Kaoru, they were near one.

Kyoya latched onto Kaoru’s wrist and dragged him into an empty classroom. He quickly shut the door and locked it behind him. Kaoru felt chills down his spine as Kyoya briefly looked over his shoulder at him. He couldn’t tell if the chills were from fear or anticipation. All he knew is that he shook, so much so his knees buckled for a moment. He caught himself on a desk and leaned against it heavily. “Kyoya?” He tried again weakly.

Kyoya was silent as he slowly turned and made his way back to Kaoru. Each step felt like a punch to Kaoru’s gut. He wasn’t getting enough air and gulped like a fish out of water. Kyoya was about half a foot away when he stopped to regard Kaoru. His eyes were no longer the cold, dark brown-gray color. His irises were almost completely swallowed by his pupils, black and hollow. Kyoya reached out to him and Kaoru’s breath caught in his throat waiting for an impact that never came. Kyoya’s hands didn’t touch him, but hovered over Kaoru’s thighs. Whether it was a threat or promise, Kaoru couldn’t tell. Kaoru couldn’t tell much anymore. Kyoya had pulled a mask and Kaoru was shut out. He only saw the stony expression Kyoya wore when he was being serious, but wasn’t being taken as such. It startled a whimper out of Kaoru.

“Kyo-,” He breathed.

But Kyoya had taken that final step towards him. They were on course to collide, but Kaoru didn’t want it to go so far. He was about to hop onto the desk to put space in between them. However, Kyoya caught him before he could do so. Kaoru’s world spun violently as Kyoya whorled him around and pushed him into the desk. He had a split second to catch himself with unsteady arms or he would have landed face first onto the wooden top. Again, he was left paralyzed. His body waited for Kyoya as if it were it was trained to do so. 

Kaoru’s view was limited to the desktop. He saw his hands with his fingers splayed out from when he caught himself, the grain of the wood, and nothing else. Though, there was a new addition creeping in. Kyoya’s hands were coming into view. Kaoru had thought they were reaching for his own, but he was wrong. Instead, Kyoya’s hands slid to the edges of the desk beside Kaoru’s. His long fingers wrapped around and gripped tightly. It was then that Kaoru was hit with a very vivid fantasy. He imagined Kyoya pushing him further into the desk. He imagined Kyoya’s breath at the nape of neck, groans and growls being ripped from Kyoya’s throat. He imagined lips, teeth and tongue. Kaoru wanted Kyoya to take and take and take from him until he had nothing left. 

The emotions balled up inside his chest and it was a ball and chain that pulled him to the floor. His knees gave way and he crumpled inelegantly to Kyoya’s feet kneeling and mostly slumped over. Tears began to prick in his eyes as he tried to make sense of what he just thought of. Certainly, now was not the time to start spiralling, yet he couldn’t get his mind to stop. He longed for the profound emptiness that often took him when he started having more vivid fantasies. He supposed shutting down was his mind’s way of keeping him from breaking down like he started to, simply disassociating to keep from cracking. It was the best case scenario for him normally. Anything negative was a reaction he wasn’t able to shake and really, he wanted to be able to be able to think past holding hands and chaste kisses. Yet, going beyond that often meant diving into a bottomless pit of inky self-hatred. There were very few times that Kaoru had gotten past that barrier and finally got to breathe and feel for those fantasies, and when he did, he saw stars. But habits were hard to break and he was trained to associate those thoughts with fear. 

He had been lucky so far that his fear hadn’t consumed him when Kyoya stated his promise just months ago, when Kyoya leaned in to kiss him while they were in his bedroom or at the karaoke lounge but just didn’t get to, or when Kyoya finally got to kiss him in the rose garden. It had been absolute bliss. His mind went pleasurably numb and he couldn’t think of anything outside of him and Kyoya in those moments. They may have been heated, and increasingly so, counting the make-out session in the garden. But it was different this time. This time it felt like he was getting a taste of Kyoya at last. He was happy, truly. He wanted to be with Kyoya in every sense of the word and he was so willing to do whatever it took to get his taste. And that while scary in its own way, not to mention overwhelming, it wasn’t what spooked him. It was how he responded, that he was terrified of his own emotions, and the dread that he was going to have to face something he hadn’t had to face in a long time. Kaoru felt the chip in his defenses and it was starting to crumble his carefully bricked wall inside himself. The fear was cold and sharp along with the twisting, painful misery. It brought back a memory he pushed down inside himself to forget. 

_ Kaoru was only going to the bathroom for a minute. Nothing too long, and he was sure his twin could make it for the time it took him to go. It was one of those rare instances where they were separated. They usually went to the bathroom together, however they were in the middle of PE. The instructor had called on Hikaru to participate in doing one-on-one’s with another classmate in their warm up drills. Kaoru watched with the rest of his class as three sets of two began kicking the soccer ball back and forth between each other down the field and back again. So Kaoru took the chance to ask him for a bathroom break.  _

_ Now, Kaoru was lightly jogging to the outdoor restrooms that sat far on the other side of the sports complex. The building itself was small and unassuming, painted in the color as the other Ouran buildings. It was surrounded by tall shrubs and hedges, away from the view of most of the complex. The only thing marking its existence was the obvious sign stating that it was indeed the restroom. _

_ Kaoru was too busy focusing on how long he had been gone that he hadn’t noticed the smell of cigarettes. He almost ran into a rather large figure head on, but skidded to a halt just before making contact with the guy’s back. Dumbly, he looked up to the guy who towered over Kaoru. This guy was not a middle schooler like Kaoru nor was he wearing an Ouran uniform. He smelled like cheap cologne and gasoline. Kaoru gasped. _

_ “What the- ?” The guy said turning. _

_ From around his tall, broad frame, Kaoru saw three more guys. The group was probably around high school age or older. They were all smoking with small white cigarettes hanging from their fingers or lips. Kaoru was sure now, none of them were Ouran students, not even students who changed into their casual clothes and left early. No, these guys were not supposed to be there. _

_ “Holy shit, it’s one of those Hitachiins!” One of the other guys exclaimed merrily. He was awkwardly tall and scrawny unlike the beefcake that stood directly in front of Kaoru. The scrawny guy flicked his butt to the ground and pressed the toe of his shoe to smother it. “I heard you two are really up each other’s asses.” _

_ “Yeah,” the large guy laughed. His voice was several octaves deeper than any other voice Kaoru had heard before. “I heard the Hitachiin twins were a bunch of assholes, too!” _

_ Kaoru wasn’t sure how they knew anything about him. How did they even know what he and Hikaru looked like? He didn’t peg them for fashion fanatics so he they weren’t leisurely flipping through any of the magazines he and his brother had been in. So maybe they were related to someone who went to Ouran? His thought process stopped when the other two guys stepped from behind the towering figure in front of him. One was short for his age, just a little bit taller than Kaoru and wore a red hoodie. The other guy wore a baseball cap low over his eyes. _

_ “What should we do to him? After interrupting our little session?” The Cap guy asked. _

_ The skinny guy norted, “Maybe we could pummel him?” _

_ Kaoru’s stomach knotted up with terrible anticipation. Though, he knew deep down in his gut that would probably be the best of the worst case scenarios. _

_ “No, no, no.” The Red hoodie reached into his pocket and pulled out a modified box cutter. The razor stuck out much farther than it was supposed to and looked like it had been serrated by hand. “I have a few questions for this young man.” _

_ Kaoru knew where this was going. The fear threatened to spill over in the form of tears on his cheeks but swallowed them down viciously. He knew it would only encourage them to keep at him. _

_ “I heard one of you likes boys.” Hoodie drew out slowly with a puff of smoke to Kaoru’s face.  _

_ Kaoru felt icy hands on his heart at the statement. It was already bad enough that he had kissed a boy from his class simply as a way of experimenting. Kaoru hadn’t expected the boy in question to press further into him while in the small storage closet at Ouran, the pungent smell of the commercial cleaners enough to make him gag. He couldn’t deny he liked the kiss therefore he had proved to himself that what he was feeling wasn’t just random. He actually had an interest in guys. However, Kaoru wasn’t interested that much in this particular person. And Kaoru was painfully frank. Of course, this unnamed classmate blackmailed him for attention and when Karou didn’t follow through, he spread rumors about him. Funnily enough, the boy Kaoru kissed hadn’t known whether he was Hikaru or Kaoru.  _

_ Hikaru didn’t care. He was perfectly straight and he had no doubts. It wasn’t like he minded by called gay. Kaoru was terrified. The school already had a strong dislike for them, no it had tripled. Not that everyone was homophobic or cared, though the ones that did made up for those who wer indifferent. There was a short streak of harassment and bullying, but the twins stopped that in its tracks. Everyone knew that the Hitachiins were the true bullies there, and if you messed with them, you got what you had coming for you twice over. While Kaoru appreciated Hikaru’s tenacity since he knew he couldn’t possibly fight the other students on his own, it always made him worry. What if someone had outsmarted them or took them by surprise? What would happen to them? The answer was unfolding before his eyes. _

_ “But which one? I can’t tell you two apart.” Hoodie nodded at the beefcake who grabbed Kaoru by his gym shirt and threw him up against the side of the building.  _

_ It wasn’t too hard, but it was enough to knock the breath out of him. He heard their laughter at his suffering, but his heartbeat was starting to thump heavily in his ears. _

_ “Or maybe you both are sissies.” Hoodie pushed the knife against Kaoru’s throat. “So it really doesn’t matter. What  _ does  _ matter is ‘Kawa’s cousin didn’t like your little pranks. He especially didn’t like how you two broke his little crush’s heart. Now, I usually don’t care what sort of stupid drama goes on when it comes to middle school crushes. However, what really has me interested is the fact that you play the girls, then fuck the guys.” _

_ Kaoru moved his face away when Hoodie leaned closer to his face. _

_ “What exactly are you playing at?” He hummed. “You think you’re going to get somewhere by playing both sides of the field?” _

_ The heat rolling of this guy was suffocating. Kaoru couldn’t understand how he wore that hoodie in the middle of summer in Japan. Regardless, it was making sweat roll down his back from the fear and the humidity. _

_ “Well? Are you gonna say something?” The human equivalent of those walking stick bugs asked. _

_ Kaoru didn’t say anything. There was nothing he could say that would make the situation better for himself. He had to wait and see if silence was the best option.  _

_ “Or are you gonna take it like a sissy? When we find something you like? You know, something we can put right snug inside you?” _

_ Kaoru instantly felt even more ill at the words. Despite the heat, his hands and feet were as cold as ice. His vision swam as he bent over and threw up onto Hoodie’s shoes. _

_ He felt several hands at him with a growl of anger.  _

_ “You fucking fa-!” _

_ Kaoru was spun around against the wall to face it. Vicious fingers grabbed his hair yanking back harshly only to slam his head into the brick wall. His nose took most of the force followed by his jaw. It was so painful that he had thought his nose was broken. He grunted as he fell to his knees. His trunk wobbled as his head tried to figure out if he was still upright or not, not like it could tell after hitting the wall. Dazed for a moment, he could only look up and back at the guys that had formed a semicircle behind him. There was no chance of escaping now. He should have ran while he could. _

_ “You’re going to fucking pay for this.” Hoodie snarled. “I’m going to rip the spine out of you.” _

_ Kaoru tasted blood from his nose as it gushed and panicked. He tried to stand before Beefcake’s hands weighted his shoulders, preventing him from doing so. He felt that knife against his throat again and his only thought after the sudden certainty he was going to die was that he loved his family. Despite having misgivings for leaving Hikaru on his own, the thought surrounded him like a blanket and made him less afraid. He stopped struggling against the hold on his shoulders and stilled. He took a deep breath in and held it. _

_ Baseball cap came up behind Hoodie and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Easy, T. We’ve already done enough.” _

_ “Enough? Enough?” Hoodie, or T as Baseball cap called him, shrieked with laughter. “I ain’t done shit yet.” _

_ “We’re gonna get flushed out in a minute. We’ve already missed our time.” _

_ T hissed as he looked down to the watch on his wrist. “FUCK.” _

_ Kaoru felt a slap against the side of his head. He fell over onto his side and didn’t get up.  _

_ “If you say anything about this,” T murmured into Kaoru’s ear, “You’re fucked in more ways than one.” _

_ Kaoru’s whole body shook as he heard them walk away. Not too long after, he heard the fence behind the hedges rattling as the group climbed over and probably ran off. He didn’t move for a long time. It was only then he realized he was laying in his vomit. He decided that he was going to lay there forever and pretend he didn’t exist.  _

Kaoru dug deep inside himself looking for something to hold onto and found nothing. The floor dropped out from under him and his head was spinning. He needed to breathe, but when he tried to, he choked on tears. God, why now? His panic attacks were usually quick and had very few symptoms. He knew how to handle his usual: a few breathing techniques and counting forwards and backwards from one to ten did the trick. However, this was one of his worst. His mind was scattered too much to even begin to think about numbers. His diaphragm was out of his control and seemed hellbent on letting him suffocate.

Kyoya was more than concerned. He was at Kaoru’s side instantly trying to his best to soothe him. However, it wasn’t enough. 

“ _ I’m sorry, I’m sorry _ .” Kyoya was scared, Kaoru realized. He shouldn’t be and he shouldn’t be apologizing either, he did nothing wrong. “Breathe, Kaoru,  _ breathe _ .  _ Please _ .”

Kaoru felt pain in his scalp and whined. It was his fingers, they had gripped his hair and pulled hard. He didn’t see anything, only felt. The tunnel vision was clouding his sight, growing and growing with every breath he failed to take.

“Kaoru,” Kyoya tried, “Breathe with me.”

Kaoru barely heard him over the sound of blood rushing and his heart stuttering over its beats. He felt gentle fingers alongside his, they were trying to untangle his fingers from his hair. 

“In and hold.” And Kaoru hiccuped a breath in and held it until Kyoya said to release it, wanting to be good for Kyoya.

Kaoru’s hands fell like dead weight into his lap once Kyoya successfully removed them from his hair. Kyoya quickly took them up again into his hands. He rubbed and squeezed them with a great deal of pressure. It was grounding and soothing in a way he hadn’t thought would work. They stayed like that for a long time, Kyoya guiding his breathing and rubbing his hands thoughtfully.

Eventually Kaoru’s breathing returned to normal, but the fear clung to his skin. He had the urge to find a shower rinse it off of him with the hottest temperature it produced. 

Kyoya hands cupped his face, thumbs wiping away the tear streaks. He had stopped crying a while ago. “Kaoru.”

Kaoru met Kyoya’s eyes. They both were wide-eyed and shaken. Both asking themselves what happened. It had been completely fine until then . . . 

Kaoru was embarrassed. He wanted to be strong for Kyoya and didn't want Kyoya to see this side of him. It was his plan to overcome this side himself before ever beginning the conversation Kyoya proposed they should have. Kyoya wanted to help Kaoru, but Kaoru needed to get these tendencies under control before talking with him. He didn’t want to scare Kyoya every time a memory came back and triggered his attacks. There wouldn’t ever be a conversation with Kyoya until he was able to keep them at bay.

“I’m sorry,” Kaoru rasped. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Kaoru, I caused an attack. Something was obviously wrong.”

“No, I realize you were only teasing me and I really wanted it,” Kaoru started to sob again. “I really wanted you.”

Kyoya swallowed wetly, “You’re not afraid?”

Kaoru shook his head and reached for Kyoya. He tucked his head into Kyoya’s chest. “I’m not scared of y-you,” He hiccuped. “I-I was scared of what I f-felt, what I imagined you d-doing. I was scared of what I- what I wanted you to do to me.”

Kyoya tensed up at Kaoru’s confession but Kaoru hadn’t noticed. He kept talking between his sobs in a barely coherent stream of words, running and running like a faucet had been turned on inside him and he couldn’t turn it off.

“It wasn’t your fault, I s-swear. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Kyoya. Please, p-please. I’m sorry.”

Kyoya’s grip was strong as he took Kaoru into his arms. Kaoru latched onto the lapels of Kyoya’s uniform and lifted his head higher. He felt embarrassment rear its ugly head again as he cried like a child into the neck of his beloved.

.

.

.

.

Kyoya had a lot of feelings swirling incessantly around inside him. It was similar to his maelstrom anger, but it felt more icy, like a blizzard of cold hatred, guilt, despair, and a pervasive hollowness. He was trying to stay calm for Kaoru, he needed to. Kaoru needed him. He held Kaoru as he sobbed and tried to think of what to do. They had gone to fetch the delivery from the cafeteria, but getting the food was at the very bottom of his list of priorities. Next up from that was hosting. He pushed Tamaki out of his head, knowing he was going to be frantic to find his Vice President and the other half of his ‘Brotherly Love’ act. How he would even begin to broach what had occurred to the host club was lost on him. Kaoru couldn’t host today, which by extension meant that Hikaru couldn’t either. How were they even going to hold the event? After all those girls paid for tickets to the event? Kyoya pushed that out of his mind as well.

At the forefront of his focus, Kyoya dreaded what he had drudged up from Kaoru’s mind when he did his little stunt.  _ Did something happen? Did someone - . . . ?  _ He couldn’t finish the thought. It made him sick with worry, with anger, with anguish. If someone had hurt Kaoru, there wasn’t anything that could stop Kyoya from maiming them. But what really weighed heavily on him was his guilt. He had done this to Kaoru, all to top Kaoru’s teasing. It was overboard, being too rough and aggressive. To see Kaoru, who is usually so well put together, collapse in front of Kyoya with eyes wide and frightened but unseeing, shaking hands gripping his hair, lines of tears down his face, and wheezing trying to draw in air was terrifying. Kyoya never wanted to see Kaoru suffer like that again.

He shook his limbs into action to try and rub Kaoru’s back, but they felt numb. It felt wrong to hold him like this, as much as he wanted it. Kyoya thought his touches were unwelcome to Kaoru, especially if . . . He nearly growled at himself, mind beginning to run the train of thought he was avoiding. Kyoya reminded himself that Kaoru had reached for him and clung to him tightly, never pushing away. It was the only giving Kyoya hope at this point that he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

Eventually, Kaoru’s sobs hiccuped and became less frequent. He quieted and wrapped his arms around Kyoya’s neck. Kyoya took his weight and copied his actions around Kaoru’s waist. Neither of them moved just feeling content with the warmth between them. Kyoya took the time to text both Tamaki and Haruhi who sent many texts asking where they were. Kyoya only answered with a simple ‘ _ Kaoru’s very ill. I’m taking care of him _ .’ After, Kaoru buried his face further into Kyoya’s neck. Kyoya leaned away to look at him as best as he could. His breath caught at the dazed and utterly lost look Kaoru wore.

“Kaoru?”

“I have the biggest migraine in the world right now,” He mumbled.

Kyoya wasn’t able to stop the hand that came up to Kaoru’s face to gently cup his cheek. He wiped at the wet skin with his thumb. “What can I do?”

Kaoru met his gaze and Kyoya saw exhaustion among defeat. “I don’t know.” He said looking away.

“How about some water?”

Kaoru thought it over, but responded, “I don’t want to leave.”

Kyoya sighed, “Okay.”

They lapsed into silence. Kyoya fought the urge to swallow knowing it would be deafening in the room. Kyoya stole another quick look at Kaoru. He was extremely pale, even more so than the slight blush across the bridge of his nose could cover. What frightened Kyoya was how distant his gaze was. It was like Kaoru wasn’t there, at least not fully. Kyoya understood that part of it was the attack and the immediate exhaustion, and that was understandable. The other part was Kaoru was slipping away from dealing with whatever he was thinking about. Kyoya rattled his brain for the word he was looking for, feeling utterly useless when it failed to materialize. It was something he had heard before from his brother when he was studying psychology and neuroscience. It described a state where people essentially took a step back from themselves, almost like they were having an out of body experience while remaining in their body. There was a disconnect somewhere.

It was exactly how Kaoru looked. He was nothing more than a body in Kyoya’s arms. 

Angrily, Kyoya bit the inside of his cheek. Kaoru was still there, he told himself. It's just a state of mind. Kyoya wanted to pull Kaoru out whatever depths of hell he was in, but he didn’t know how to approach Kaoru when he was like this. Could Kyoya even trust Kaoru to make the right decisions for himself when he was like this? There was too much uncertainty swirling around and Kyoya didn’t have anything or anyone to turn to. He could try to pull up something from a mental health website. Kyoya knew the ones from the US, Canada, and UK were decent. They might give him some idea as to what to do.

For a few minutes, he scrolled through the articles. They weren’t what he was looking for, though quite a few of them said water and s distraction could be helpful.

“We can’t stay like this forever.” Kyoya began.

He waited for Kaoru to respond, but he never did.

“Kaoru?” 

Kaoru didn’t stir until he put a gentle hand on his cheek. Kyoya felt him jump and then settle against him. Kaoru groaned and refused to pull away.

“We need to get you some water.”

“I’m not thirsty.” Kaoru sounded muffled against Kyoya’s uniform.

“Doesn’t matter. You’ve lost fluids and you need to rehydrate.”

Kaoru groaned. Kyoya was about to launch Kaoru into action when he whispered something into Kyoya’s skin.

“What did you say?” 

“I didn’t want you to see me like this.” Kaoru repeated still muffled. “I’m weak.”

“You’re not weak, Kaoru.” Kyoya chastised quietly. “You’re one of the strongest people I know.”

“Don’t say that to say it. You don’t mean it.”

“You don’t see it.” Kyoya kissed Kaoru’s temple. “You don’t see your strength. You carry around people’s emotional baggage and somehow find a way to smile through it.”

Kaoru sighed, “That’s a dumb example.”

“You love your brother when no one else will. It takes strength in character to do something so charitable.”

It startled a chuckle out Kaoru, “Dummy.”

Kyoya kissed his temple again. He gently cupped the back of Kaoru’s neck and rubbed. Kaoru seemed to like it because he sighed and sank back into Kyoya. Kyoya was starting to feel relieved when Kaoru’s color returned to normal, a soft blush on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. Kyoya kissed the tip of Kaoru’s left ear just because he could.

“I think . . . I do want that water.”

Kyoya nodded and let Kaoru pull away. They stood and drifted to the cafeteria. It seemed that someone had come down to pick up the delivery of food for them as the cafeteria was completely empty. There weren’t any workers nor any place that wasn’t locked up for the day. Luckily, Kyoya was able to find a stack of disposable cups and used one at the water fountain in the corner of the room. Kaoru gratefully took the cup and downed half of it in one gulp.

“I needed this more than I realized,” Kaoru voiced.

“Are you starting to feel better?”

Kyoya’s fingers found the wrist of the hand hanging limply at Kaoru’s side. His fore and middle finger looked for Kaoru’s pulse and located it easily. It was about where it should be, though it was a little fast.

He protested, “Dr. Ootori, I’m feeling better, I swear.”

“I’m just making sure.”

Kaoru flushed beautifully looking over the cup. He then used the water cup to cover his face as he looked away. Kyoya swooned inwardly.

.

.

.

.

They made it back to the club as Tamaki opened. He announced briefly that Kaoru wasn’t going to be able to host due to illness, the girls groaned but wished for Kaoru’s swift recovery. In fact, in the event post made by Renge on the host club’s media, many of the girls tagged him with the messages. He answered a few of them with his gratitude asking the girls to be patient until next week when he could host again, Kyoya could see the notifications popping up on his phone screen. 

Kyoya was surprised to see Hikaru stand by his decision to continue hosting. He took the job very seriously as he and Mori made cup after cup of coffee. The two of them stood at the table in the middle of the room, demonstrating the process of doing it by hand. It was certainly mesmerizing to see hot water poured slowly and surely over the ground and to watch it drip into the cup below. The air was filled with the aromatic and bold coffee. Kyoya could close his eyes and imagine he was in a cafe, a very good sign of immersion. He hoped to do this again before he graduated in April.

The rest of the hosts served the food and chatted with the girls. Kyoya did the same, but his mind was elsewhere. He wondered if Kaoru was at home in bed by now. He hoped so. Kaoru needed to relax for a few days, though Kyoya knew better. He was probably going to internalize a lot of what happened today and not talk about it. As much as Kyoya thought Kaoru needed to see a therapist or someone certified to help, he knew he had to give Kaoru space. It wasn’t Kyoya’s decision whether or not Kaoru saw someone. Though, he couldn’t stop wishing. Kyoya recognized something had happened and maybe it was why Kaoru carefully redirected conversations and avoided talking too much about himself. It may explain why Kaoru never did talk to Hikaru about his sexuality until now, and even then it was only to come out. Kyoya wanted to know what Kaoru was hiding. 

It was a pretty self-absorbed wish to know everything about Kaoru, but Kyoya argued to himself that it wasn’t out of personal curiosity. He wanted only the best for him. Kyoya struggled with the balance between pushing Kaoru to what he thought was right and letting Kaoru have his deserved autonomy. Not to say Kaoru ever said Kyoya was too pushy or too involved. Perhaps, it was a fear of Kyoya’s that he might smother Kaoru unintentionally. His emotions often got the best of him around Kaoru and made him act so irrationally that Kyoya questioned a lot what he did for the Hitachiin. He questioned how intense the emotions were, if this was normal.

Of course, he might have found it funny how cliche it was. But to experience falling in love with his friend like something out of a rom-com, Kyoya finally understood how wonderfully awful it was. Yet, no rom-com could ever prepare him for the minefield of being in a relationship, especially an undefined one. 

“So, Kyoya-senpai, you said that the club might do this again?” Aya-san asked.

Kyoya snapped his attention back to the present. He smiled at the short-haired girl, “Yes, of course. We’re planning to do a much larger cafe event next year sometime.”

“Oh, how wonderful!” She melted under Kyoya suave words. “I hope Kaoru-kun can come next time!”

“Indeed.” Kyoya purred, trying to cover how sick he felt. He sat a cup of coffee in front of Aya-san while her and her friend chatted. “Would you like something to eat, mademoiselle?”

Aya-san nodded and asked for Hani-senpai’s recommendation for dessert.

.

.

.

.

Kyoya locked the door to his room and leaned against the door. His eyes were tired and his head began to pulse with the dull ache of an oncoming migraine. He was back in his school uniform after wrapping up the event, but his skin craved something soft and comfortable. There was work to do, yet he had no drive to do it. He was exhausted.

On the the coffee table in front of his couch, university magazines and brochures were piled up in messy stacks. He didn’t want to think about going through them now. Eventually, he would have to apply somewhere, but that was a job for another day. Right then, Kyoya had his mind on his bed. He stripped his clothes lazily from his body and threw them into the hamper inside one of the many doors to his closet system. He hesitated, his thought about taking a shower abruptly stopped. A hand gently touched the boxes of cufflinks stacked inside one of the shelves. Kaoru’s birthday note and the sketch were folded neatly on top.

Kyoya knew it might have been strange to be standing there completely nude while touching Kaoru’s gift. However, when he reached out to them, it was comforting. It was a reminder of their connection; modest, yet deep and meaningful. 

He sighed and pulled his robe and a towel out, leaving the closest door open. He needed to wash away all of what went on today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO . . . uh, I hope I didn't scare anyone away. 
> 
> For those who skipped, Kaoru has a panic attack and relives a memory where a group of assholes rough him up for being "supposedly" gay.
> 
> This isn't going to be a super heavy fic so please don't get the wrong idea. This chapter will probably be the worse of the panic attacks. If they arise in the future they won't be so detailed. Also, I want to know if I should tag this fic with attempted or implied s*xual assault. I tried to be very non-specific and as non-graphic as possible while still showing those guys had very, very bad intentions. Thankfully, Kaoru didn't have to experience it. Please let me know if a simple chapter warning is enough or if I should include it in the tags of work!!!!!!
> 
> -BUT- I'm happy to be posting again!!! I am going to go ahead and make the executive decision to make the next chapter take place during Tamaki's and Kyoya's GRADUATION. And then, after that THEIR SUMMER VACATION AT THE OOTORI VILLA. We'll finally be caught up.
> 
> Thank you guys so much for being patient during this sorta hiatus. I wanted to get this out before my impending chem exam, so happy belated valentine's day! Just as a reminder, my tumblr is the place to look for any announcements regarding my uploading and such. You can also ask me questions and request different prompts when they're open. Or just say 'hi.' (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/anxtheroliveinthehouse)
> 
> Not beta'd!


	12. "Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, weebs. I'm back and I feel great to be here. This chapter went off the rails meaning that- guess what -there's going to essentially be a part 2 since it's so long lol. It's not going to be a chapter 12 part 1/12 part 2, it's just going to be chapter 13 so yeah, sorry I keep getting my plot/scheduling all whack. Forgive me.
> 
> Anyways I hope y'all other Americans are enjoying the school year coming to a close (fRiCkInG finally). It's what I've been waiting for personally so I can write in peace. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to catch up on this story because I got into Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and it's been consuming my attention entirely for the past three months or so. However, if you are interested in Jojo, I have a surprise for you . . . (spoiler: it's a short story about my part 3/4 bois).
> 
> Hope everyone has been happy, healthy and safe. We are in some wild times rn and I hope my dumbass stories brighten up your day just a tiny bit. I know getting (and rereading) your comments really brighten my day!

It was the last day of the exam cycle before winter break. Kyoya was eating breakfast with his father at the large oak table in the dining room. It really wasn’t appetizing, not with the general level of anxiety he had for the upcoming tests. It wasn’t like he hadn’t prepared or that he didn’t know the looming exams were going to be a breeze for him. It was just something that came with the pressure to perform. It made the miso soup, the grilled fish, and natto taste bland and the texture feel off. He didn’t take more than three bites of his rice and left the plum.

His father had been silent. He sipped his tea intermittently, eating a little bit of each of the dishes at a time. He wasn’t too concerned that his son wasn’t eating much. To be fair, Kyoya had always been like that during exam cycles. He missed many meals when he was facing testing anxiety, finding solace in small snacks that wouldn’t sit too heavy in his stomach. He found that having small portions between his tests was the most effective way to keep nausea and hunger at bay. 

After the cycle was over, Kyoya would return to a normal eating schedule Though, he didn’t know how true that would hold up this time. Kyoya hadn’t been eating very much after Kaoru’s attack, but then again nothing had been the same since. Kaoru and Kyoya almost completely stopped texting and Kyoya let the space between them settle without much complaint. It was for the best anyhow. Unfortunately, the silence between them kept Kyoya’s stomach aching from guilt and yearning for Kaoru. It didn’t leave room for much else, even less for the food that tasted off and felt as heavy as lead.

“What exams do you have today?” Yoshio asked, trying for small talk.

“Physics and Anatomy.”

“You’ll be out early, I assume?”

“Yes, sir.” Kyoya forced himself to take a bite of the piece of fish hovering in front of his lips. He chewed it thoughtfully working on an answer as he waited for his father to ask about his winter break plans. He swallowed with effort.

“I’ve heard Tamaki-kun was planning a weekend to an onsen over New Years’ weekend.”

“Indeed, the whole club is invited.”

“I didn’t imagine you’d be interested in going,” Yoshio’s gaze moved from his tea to Kyoya, “especially since everyone will be here for New Year’s.”

Honestly, Kyoya didn’t want to spend his New Year’s with his family. It might have been tradition to celebrate a couple days before New Year’s, but this year tradition could kiss Kyoya’s ass. He could only deal with his siblings for so long, especially once the alcohol was poured. Akito was the worst followed closely by Fuyumi. And she only had a lower place on the list then due to the fact that her husband could carry her instead of Kyoya. 

“I thought I’d change it up this year.”

Yoshio huffed, not very pleased with Kyoya’s answer. “You’re an adult, now. So I suppose you are old enough to make these kinds of decisions.”

Kyoya bit the inside of his cheek. This was just one of the many times that Yoshio had said something along those lines. He was purposely giving Kyoya more lead on his leash and not letting Kyoya forget it. It pissed Kyoya off being reminded that his movements were only free because his father allowed it. Yuuichi was right about their father giving Kyoya more freedom, but like everything else there were strings attached. 

.

.

.

.

The coffee shop was fairly busy, but not packed. It allowed Hikaru and Kaoru some privacy as they spoke in the large booth. Hikaru had gotten a drink that sounded way too sugary to be to Kaoru’s taste and with two extra shots of espresso. Kaoru joked that Hikaru was going to have an aneurysm after drinking it, Hikaru gave him a look with a poorly concealed smile. 

Their exams were over and they didn’t have to stay at school all day that day. Basically only showing up for attendance purposes and splitting as soon as they could. It meant a free day to do whatever they wanted. Usually, it meant playing co-op online, maybe inviting Tamaki, Hani- and Mori-senpai to play with them. Hani-senpai was the trump card of all trump cards. He sounded like a middle schooler and meant that most players would completely blow him off and underestimate him. Unfortunately for them, Hani-senpai was just as good at virtual combat as he was in real-life with his martial arts. 

However, the twins decided to go out instead of playing games. They still needed to have that conversation before they began making excuses. Hikaru had questioned if a public space was a great place to talk, but Kaoru assured him it’d be okay. Afterall, Kaoru felt that with the pressure to keep himself together in public might help stay coherent and calm. Though, there was the possibility he could completely fall apart and begin to cry. It might be humiliating, but it still wouldn’t be the most embarrassing thing to happen to him.

They settled as Kaoru nursed his caramel latte. Hikaru was eager to listen yet tried to reign himself back. Kaoru could see him stealing glances up from his phone, being extremely obvious as usual. It tamped down the rising anxiety in Kaoru’s chest. His brother was trying hard to be a good listener and that alone made Kaoru feel warm on the inside. The sharp points of dread were being worn down and made into dull, fuzzy things. It was also the fact that Hikaru wasn’t being obnoxious. Kaoru knew he was persistent and could easily bury him with the numerous questions he most certainly had. Then again, Hikaru was being patient and allowing Kaoru the space to find his words. For that, the younger twin was grateful.

It was about when Hikaru and Kaoru were three-quarters into their drinks when Kaoru finally spoke up.

“Do you remember in junior high,” Kaoru formulated the question slowly, “When you found me on the ground during gym?”

Hikaru’s eyes found his instantly, “Of course, how could I forget that?”

“So, I lied about not remembering what happened.”

The truth was when Hikaru found his brother lying dazed in a puddle of puke, Kaoru pretended that he had fallen unconscious, fell on his face, and threw up in that order. Kaoru was hoping in his naive mind that maybe he could slide by with the poor excuse, but it landed him in the hospital. The school doctors were concerned about something being seriously wrong, especially since they believed him to vomit while being unconscious. They immediately sent him to the nearby private hospital for tests. 

Kaoru remembered being absolutely mortified. He didn’t want it to go this far, especially since he had lied about what happened. He was taking up people’s time and valuable resources just to check on a phantom condition.

Kaoru could tell that the head doctor treating him at the hospital knew he was lying. Though, the doctor never directly pushed for an answer. Kaoru remembered he came in after a couple hours and sat down next to the bed. He had a strange look on his face, somewhere between humor, exhaustion, and pity. 

“I don’t believe you had a seizure,” The doctor commented. “It’s quite rare to vomit during one. Not to mention, the test we ran all came back normal.”

Kaoru tried to hide the nervousness he felt as the doctor prodded for the truth. “That’s a relief,” he mumbled.

“If anything, you might have lost consciousness due to dehydration. It’s a much more likely scenario considering the heat and the fact you were in gym class, correct?”

Kaoru nodded.

The doctor sighed, removing his glasses to wipe his eyes. “You do show signs of mild dehydration, but I wouldn’t have predicted such a drastic array of signs and symptoms at your current state.”

Kaoru swallowed, his throat clicking dryly. He never answered the doctor after that, he refused to. 

Eventually, the doctor gave up trying to get answers out of him. The silence wasn’t enough to push Kaoru to retell what happened. In fact, Kaoru actively tried to avoid it. Thinking about it brought the full onslaught of emotions he experienced as if he were going through it again. He could avoid it in his waking hours by keeping himself busy, however once he let his guard fall to drift into slumber, that’s when the memory’s shadow fell over him. The following month he lost a lot of sleep over it. The first couple of nights he shook with the ghosting touches on his shoulders and the knife at his throat. He had a hard time falling asleep and when he finally did, the four guys were waiting for him. Sometimes it was a play by play of what had occured, other times his mind twisted their faces into goulish demons that shredded his clothes and skinned him alive.

Hikaru was a heavy sleeper, but with the amount of tossing and turning, not to mention yelping, coming from his brother there was no way he could stay asleep. Hikaru was really worried. Everyone was. Kaoru’s parents tried to sit him down to get answers, but Kaoru put on a tired smile. Just a few bad dreams, he told them, I don’t know why they’re happening. I don’t know why they’re making me so restless.

He could feel his mother’s strain. She knew she smothered them too much sometimes. She wasn’t overly touchy, but the way she showed her love for her boys was sometimes overwhelming. She knew something was haunting her younger son, and she hated that she had to keep the distance for his sake. It tore Kaoru up with guilt knowing she and his father wanted to help him. He wished to reach out to them, but what happened that day weighed too heavily on him. He needed to bury it deep. He needed to bury everything related to it deep, deep, deep inside himself. It’s the only way to push past what happened, otherwise he’d have to tell the story, the whole story. 

He was fairly certain that he could work himself up to talking about what happened. He could talk about the four guys, how they nearly smashed his face in and cut his throat. What he couldn’t bring himself to talk about was why it happened. He could never open himself up to his family about how he kissed a boy in the janitor’s closet at school. How he liked it, how it immediately backfired and led to him getting roughed up. Homosexuality is more than taboo, and for him to come out in that way, essentially forced to, Kaoru could never. 

There was also the fear of rejection from his family. Kaoru wasn’t deaf to his brother’s snide comments nor did he ignore the jokes he made about certain boys in their class. It was almost like a game to see who could say the worst to someone else. Little did Hikaru know that those jokes could have been aimed at his own brother. He knew his mother worked with other designers and clients who were gay. However, he had never actually heard his mother’s view on the matter. For all Kaoru knew, she was only being professional, staying out of others’ personal lives while secretly harboring disapproval. Or it may the scenario where she may have no issue with it until her son turned out to be gay. Kaoru didn’t want to know what his father thought.

Things were different now.

Kaoru sighed and looked into his latte. The words to describe his emotions didn’t come easily. “I-I . . . I don’t know how to start.”

“Start from the beginning?” Hikaru suggested lamely, stating it as if it were that obvious and easy.

“I don’t know, if we were to start from the very beginning we’d be here for hours.”

“I have hours, Kaoru, for you.”

Kaoru looked then to see a very determined Hikaru. To be honest, Kaoru felt the tears prick in his eyes, touched by the sentiment. He blinked them away and a smile curled his lips. 

“I think I’ll begin when I had suspicions of liking boys.”

“I thought you’d start with Kyoya, but go off. I’m obviously clueless.”

Kaoru snorted at the choice of words. He was fully aware that Hikaru began to do some snooping into the LGBT+ communities online. Hikaru had begun to use a lot more of the English slang he learned from the very prominent English-speaking community whenever he spoke. That alone was funny enough, however this was the first time Kaoru had heard a Japanese translation done so flawlessly.

“It’ll be easier to understand with context,” Kaoru explained.

“Do what you want.”

Kaoru grinned at the response.

Kaoru delved into the very first and clear memories he had of his attraction. It was admittedly young when he began to realize something was different. He didn’t have a tendency to act like Hikaru did, but considering how close they were, their behaviors blended seamlessly. Hikaru had some parts of Kaoru and vice versa. What stood out was Hikaru’s tendency to act strangely around girls, in Kaoru’s opinion (at that age, of course). Hikaru became pretty flustered and pushed them away not really knowing how to deal with the crushes he was forming. Kaoru, on the other hand, felt absolutely nothing like that. He didn’t really pay any attention to the girls and if he didn’t completely ignore them, he was pushing them away in annoyance.

With the mention of crushes, Kaoru delved into how his family and friends described crushes and the ‘messing around’ teenagers had. It was always directed towards heterosexual behaviors and Kaoru never related. He had never experienced heterosexual attraction. Even upon retroflection when his older self looked back to the times he was feeling the effects of a crush, they didn’t feel like the ones described to him. From what he understood, crushes were about constantly daydreaming about people, getting nervous around them, and being a hormonal and horny teen doing equal hormonal and horny things. However, Kaoru couldn’t afford to act like that around his peers. His crushes were brief, but intense flashes of emotion when his eye caught on a certain feature of his crush. Their eyes, their smile, their laugh. Outside of those brief moments was like a spell broke and he had to catch himself before anyone else saw.

He knew now that he had to act so differently than how he wanted to respond. A lot of his crushes had to be repressed to keep them hidden which often meant completely ignoring the beginnings of one. If you were to ask Kaoru back then about it, he would outright deny it. He would deny that whole part of himself even existed. Therefore, he wasn’t able to feel what a crush was supposed to feel like. Maybe that was why Kyoya was so special to him, Kaoru mused. He was the crush that slipped through the barriers and he couldn’t stop from engulfing him wholly. 

When he started middle school, Kaoru met Kida. He was a quiet kid in the same year as the twins. Despite being somewhat shy, he was known to have a mean streak. When Kaoru started to hear rumors about Kida and his supposed attraction towards boys, Kaoru sought him out for information. Kida, at first, denied the accusations. Though Kaoru was able to convince him that he wasn’t going to hurt him or tell anybody, Kaoru was just curious himself. That’s when, in that cramped janitor’s closet, Kida asked for a kiss as proof. It was a pretty bold move in Kaoru’s opinion. However, it was an opportunity he wasn’t going to pass up.

The kiss was a little awkward. It was Kaoru’s first, therefore it wasn’t like he knew what to do other than press his lips against another’s. Kida guided him gently. Despite being a little shorter than Kaoru, Kida placed his hands on Kaoru’s hips and Kaoru placed his on Kida’s shoulders. When they pulled their heads back from the chaste kiss, they both had vibrant blushes on their faces.

“So you were being truthful?” Kida whispered. 

Kaoru could feel the breath on his lips. He turned his head away feeling very vulnerable. The red on his cheeks intensified. “Yeah, I was.”

Kida took Kaoru’s chin and went in for another kiss. 

Kaoru definitely liked this. He let his arms snake around Kida’s neck and the other middle schooler pressed in closer. Kaoru was breathless and his pulse raced in his ears. It felt good. This was closer to what he was told it’d feel like. It wasn’t going to be until a few years later that he’d actually kiss a girl and be able to compare the two. It was then, when he realized he didn’t like kissing girls as much as he liked kissing boys, but at that point the damage of what was to happen next had already been done.

“Ew.” Hikaru shivered. “You kissed Kida.”

Kaoru rolled his eyes, “It wasn’t like I had the biggest pool of bachelors to work with in middle school.”

Hikaru huffed a laugh, but stayed silent as Kaoru continued.

It was hard to talk about what happened with the four high schoolers outside the bathrooms. Predictably, Hikaru got very upset. Even with it being expected, it felt as if the anger was directed towards Kaoru. He just had to keep reminding himself that the anger was not meant for him. It was meant for the pieces of shit that hurt him (in Hikaru’s words).

“Did you ever find out who they were?”

Kaoru shook his head. He never wanted to pursue them. Even after what they did to him, he never wanted revenge or punishment or really anything. He wanted to be left alone and never see those guys again.

“Kaoru,” Hikaru chided. “You just let them go?”

“What was I supposed to do? Grab one and take them to the principal's office?” Kaoru countered. 

“You’re right, but why didn’t you say something?! What they did to you was beyond fucked.” Hikaru hissed before dropping his voice down to a whisper. “They threatened to- to- . . .”Hikaru struggled to repeat what Kaoru said, how they wanted to hurt him where it inflicted the most amount of damage in the most amount of ways. 

Kaoru looked back down at his now empty cup. His eyebrows knitted together and his mouth tilted into a prominent frown. Hikaru reached across the table to the hand sitting limply by the cup.

“It was brutal. You were outnumbered and afraid.” Hikaru's voice fell an octave. “You were younger and had everything going against you.”

Kaoru nodded in agreement.

“So why do you feel embarrassed? Why do you feel ashamed? I see it.”

Kaoru sighed, “I don’t know.”

Hikaru’s eyes searched for something in Kaoru for a long time. Kaoru didn’t like close examination. It was strange coming from Hikaru. “I wish I were there so you wouldn’t have had to go through that alone.”

It might have sounded strange to anyone else, however it meant much more to the twins. Going through hell didn’t seem as bad when there was someone there with you. They knew that better than anyone else.

“I wouldn’t have wanted you to get hurt.”

Hikaru shook his head, “Your pain is my pain.”

“Not this time.” Kaoru flagged one of the waitresses and asked for a food menu. Once she left for the counter to grab what Kaoru asked for, he turned to Hikaru and clarified, “I don’t want it to be your pain.”

“Then why bother explaining this to me then? Telling me what happened?”

“Well, you wanted to know and I wanted to tell you. Or maybe because it’s beneficial for me to tell someone about this instead of keeping it bottled up inside me?”

Hikaru rolled his eyes at the sarcasm, “Have you told Kyoya?”

“No,” Kaoru answered quickly before facing the waitress, menu in hand. He smiled and thanked her. He noticed how she blushed and smiled softly back. 

“I’m surprised.”

Kaoru looked over the menu for a few moments. All that was offered at the place was bakery items, mostly sweet stuff that never really appealed to Kaoru. Though, he spotted savory options at the bottom. The cheese and spinach brioche looked appetizing.

“I wanted to tell you first,” Kaoru admitted.

“I’m still surprised.”

“You deserve an explanation. I made you worry, then and now.”

Hikaru deflated with a heavy sigh and broke eye contact. “You don’t need to think about that. I’ve been pretty shitty and have only made it worse for you.”

“I scared you by lying about what happened,” Kaoru argued. “I lied about passing out, I lied about my panic attack, I lied about how I felt.”

“Everyone lies. Sometimes the reason is good enough. I don’t want you to apologize for lying and I don’t want you to feel bad for choosing to stay silent. I won’t fault you for doing what you did. I just . . .” Hikaru paused and collapsed further into the booth. “I want to understand because you’re my brother.”

Hikaru’s honesty helped diffuse a little bit of tension between them. While Kaoru was completely aware of Hikaru’s motives for asking in the first place, he needed to be reminded that what they were doing wasn’t a debate on who was more at fault. Kaoru was quicker to take responsibility for self-perceived wrongdoings when in actuality, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. They were both argumentative as well, so Kaoru supposed that it wasn’t surprising they would end up bickering about who should have done what in hindsight. 

“Then it's a good thing you’re here because it’s probably the best way to understand.” Kaoru had a gleam in his eye and a grin on his lips. “I know I haven’t answered all your questions, but to suffice to say that we’ve been here for hours and I’m hungry.”

Kaoru held out the menu to Hikaru who had a dumbstruck look across his face, eyes like a deer in the headlights. “You’re leaving me hanging like this?”

Kaoru laughed, feeling even lighter than when he entered the cafe. “I’m tired of talking and the next part’s about Kyoya, which you might need to prepare yourself for.”

Hikaru blinked the indignation away to have disappointment follow in its wake. “Fine. I didn’t want to hear about grumpy ol’ Kyoya today anyways.”

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The day finished at noon for Kyoya with a collective sigh of relief from his class. The physics exam was as he predicted, boring and a waste of time. Despite physics being one of his favorite classes, he found himself struggling to focus on the exam due to it’s obvious questions. Or maybe it was the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about Kaoru. The urge to call him was a constant thought pressing up against everything else within him. All of Kyoya’s careful work was being thrown out the window of his mind to make room for Kaoru. It would be cold to say he hated thinking like that, but it was true that he shouldn’t be focusing so heavily on the Hitachiin. Studies had to come first if he were to want a life, whether with or without Kaoru. It was the first and smallest barrier to get over.

On top of his distracted mind, he was pretty shaky from not eating enough. He needed to get something and yet, with the way his stomach was feeling he knew it wasn’t really an option. All he could do was try his best at tampering the tremors and hoping the staff wouldn’t report it back to his father. Even though his father was being lax with his control over Kyoya, he was as vigilant as ever in observing Kyoya from afar. Kyoya didn’t feel like having another stern lecture from his father about his eating habits. 

Kyoya would just have to placate him by eating something in front of him. Tonight’s dinner seemed like the best time since he was going to have to eat anyways. His mother was returning from Australia after however many months she was gone. They were going out to eat at a restaurant that she wanted to try. With her return, all of the Ootori’s were going to be in attendance. It meant Kyoya wasn’t going to be able to skip out on eating so easily. He really would rather retire to his room to work on future club events or possibly FaceTiming Tamaki at some point in the night when he needed a break. However, he had to play nice until the welcome party was over.

Regardless, he had some down time before he had to be ready. His first choice was to call Kaoru. Kyoya wanted to have a conversation with him after so long without it. Though, he didn’t know if Kaoru wanted to talk to him. It was an odd feeling to have, being in doubt. Usually Kyoya never minded others ignoring him. He preferred being alone and not being bothered. But Kyoya wanted Kaoru there. He wanted some connection to the younger twin. Missing it was the most peculiar feeling and completely unavoidable with the exam cycle out of the way.

While on the way home, he pulled out his phone with the intent of texting Kaoru. However, indecision grew steadily and made him slip it back into the pocket of his slacks. His eyes slipped shut once he realized that for the foreseeable future he was going to struggle with trying to reach out. He pinched the bridge of his nose and moped over how horribly inadequate he was. There had to be divine intervention before he could find it within himself to text Kaoru without feeling too needy, pushy, nosey, or otherwise. His hope was Kaoru would text him and make the first move so Kyoya wouldn’t have to mull over whether or not he was doing what he was supposed to be doing as a friend or . . . whatever else Kaoru wanted him to be.

Inside the Ootori mansion was fairly quiet. Though, when passing through the halls towards his room, he could hear his mother in the kitchen humming to herself. He decided to see what she was doing. He found her bent over the counter writing down something on the notepad that always took a spot on the island. She seemed at ease, but a little tired looking by the shadows under her eyes. Her dark hair was pulled into a low bun as carefully as her makeup was applied. In fact, Kyoya had never seen her with a hair out of place. She was always so well maintained on top of having extreme amounts of social grace and charisma. No wonder his father had married her.

She looked over her reading glasses when he came into view. She smiled, “Kyoya-kun, welcome home.”

“I think I should be the one saying that.” He mirrored her polite smile. “Welcome home.”

“How was your last day of exams?”

“Good.”

She finished whatever she had started on the notepad and once she was done, she gave Kyoya her full attention. Tucking her glasses into the pocket of her suit jacket she asked, “What’s happened since I’ve been gone?”

Kyoya shrugged, “The usual. Though, Yuuichi has stopped by more often.”

A small frown tugged at her features briefly before it switched to another easy smile. “What about you, besides your exams? How’s Tamaki-kun and the host club?”

“Tamaki is fine. The most recent club event was a few weeks ago. We did a cafe theme.”

“Oh, that sounds fun!” She answered, Kyoya almost believed she was being genuine. Not to say his mother didn’t care, but she was great at supplying false niceties for the sake of small talk. 

Suddenly, it dawned on him that his father might have spoken with her about Kaoru. She wasn’t being as forthcoming, if it were the case. Kyoya concluded that Yoshio hadn’t told his wife about Kyoya’s ‘friend.’ In a very offhand decision, Kyoya decided now was the time to tell her. He ran through a list of possible scenarios in how he should proceed with asking her indirectly about how much she knew. Another set of scenarios were generated on how he should tell her if she didn’t know and what her reaction might be.

“Have you spoken to father about me recently?” He tried.

His mother grabbed her large carry-on bag off the floor and began digging through it. “We talk about you often. A good amount of our conversations revolve around our children.”

“Has he mentioned anything about me specifically? Anything surprising?”

“Well, he said something about you being late to the gala a few months ago,” His mother paused and placed a finger to her chin thought, “and everything else has been about how excellent your grades were. I wouldn’t say I was surprised to hear that . . .”

Kyoya took her response as proof she hadn’t heard about Kaoru. He began to think about why his father had kept silent on the matter, not knowing whether to take it as a good or bad thing. He set aside those thoughts for later and focused on trying to get his mouth to form the words he wanted to say correctly. It was then he really felt the shakiness in his body. He was annoyed for being so nervous about this. 

“Are you sure?” Kyoya asked leaning against the doorway and crossing his arms.

His mother gave him an amused look. “Do you have something to tell me, Kyoya-kun?”

“I’m gay.”

At first, she didn’t react. Almost like she was either waiting for something to follow afterwards or she was still processing the information. However, a stranger expression crossed her face, one that was more analytical and directly aimed at Kyoya. He realized she was trying to figure out how he wanted her to respond.

“You don’t have to respond.” He said, a little laughter coat tailing on his words. “If you do want to, I’d rather have your honesty anyways.”

“I’m glad you told me.” She was very serious. “Your father knows?”

Kyoya nodded.

His mother sighed and gave up on looking for whatever was in her bag. “He didn’t say anything to me. I’ll speak with him after dinner about it.”

Kyoya still wasn’t sure how to gage her response. Though, he was glad she was being honest with him. “You don’t have to talk to him.”

His mother turned to him and put both of her hands on Kyoya’s cheeks. It was the most amount of contact they had shared since Kyoya was a young child. The touch wasn’t exactly unwelcome, but it was strange to the point of being slightly uncomfortable. He held still, however, wanting to hear what his mother was going to say.

“I want to,” She affirmed looking up to her rather tall son. “All your father has to say about you is your grades and the host club. For the former, I don’t expect them to change. You’ve always been bright. As for the latter, your father has always disagreed with me. I’ve found the club to be a very good influence on you while he thought otherwise. Even after all that’s happened, he still holds doubts about it.

“I think what you’ve told me now is much more important than your grades or the club.” She rubbed her thumb across his cheek.

Kyoya couldn’t speak. It was equal parts relieving and terrifying to have his mother act in such a manner. He was so used to her professional demeanor that when she did try to connect with him emotionally, it felt almost wrong or too good to be true. 

After a moment, he gently grabbed her wrists and brought her hands down from his face. “Thank you.”

“So, who’s the lucky young man?”

She was joking, he knew. He had an answer regardless.

“Hitachiin Kaoru.”

Her eyebrows met her hairline. “Hitachiin? One of the twins? In the club?”

Kyoya nodded.

His mother took another moment to process what Kyoya had said. She was probably more surprised by the answer than she was about him coming out.

“Well, I can only say that Hitachiin Yuzuha-san must be thrilled.” His mother gave him a grin.

.

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.

Kaoru had decided to go to bed early. It really wasn’t going to bed, moreso laying down with his eyes closed and his headphones on with the music turned up all the way. Hikaru sat at his desk on the other side of their room on his laptop. Kaoru wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he enjoyed being able to relax on his own. 

He let his mind wander while the music ebbed and flowed from his attention. He wasn’t surprised that his mind dwelled on thoughts about Kyoya. Kaoru knew he should say something to him. It had been almost a month since his panic attack and he hadn’t bothered to tell Kyoya he was okay. The regret was bitter on his tongue, however he was still embarrassed to face him.

His hand wiped over his face angrily. He shouldn’t let his pride get in the way of communicating with Kyoya. It wasn’t right to treat Kyoya as he was. They were going to have to speak sooner or later anyways. He often wondered why Kyoya hadn’t said anything either. Kaoru knew it was Kyoya letting him have space. Kaoru appreciated the distancing, especially the week following his panic attack. However, he was missing the bastard and being too much of a coward to reach out to him.

He covered his eyes with his arm and tried to push his dark-haired senpai out of his mind’s eye. 

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.

Eventually, the end of the school year had come at last. However, for the host club it meant that two more members would be graduating. While a multitude of rumors flooded the school as to what the future of the host club would be since the King himself would be leaving so soon. They were trying to keep the celebratory mood as they did for Mori-senpai and Hani-senpai the previous year. Though, what would become of the host club became a heavy question weighing in their hearts. 

On graduation day, Tamaki and Kyoya were dressed in caps and gowns for pictures before the ceremony. Their respective family and friends stood in a pretty large group around the two taking as many photos as possible. Of those who attended the ceremony were Tamaki’s father (he had to come anyways as chairman), Tamaki’s grandmother, and a few of their staff. Kyoya’s father couldn’t come as he was in Las Vegas for a business conference, however Kyoya’s mother had come with Fuyumi and her husband, as well as Yuuichi and his wife. Akito was taken onto the trip to Vegas in a surprising turn of events. Then, there was Ranka who came to support Haruhi (but really he was seeing off Kyoya), the twins, Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai, and some of their respective staff. Renge took up the rear dabbing tears away with her handkerchief and Kasanoda stood awkwardly beside her. 

A lot of photos were taken with different combinations of people. Haruhi and the twins being the main photographers. Though, Ranka and the twins took it upon themselves to pose the graduates and whoever was in the picture with them. First, it was just Tamaki and Kyoya. Next, it was Tamaki’s Family, then Kyoya’s family. Lastly, it was the host club taking another group picture similar to last year’s photo at Mori-senpai’s and Hani-senpai’s graduation. However, more individual picture-taking happened with cell phones among the literal crowd that Tamaki and Kyoya seemed to make for themselves. Kaoru sneakily took a few with just him and Kyoya while the others were not paying attention.

“I can’t believe it, gentlemen!” Tamaki exclaimed, “We’re already at graduation!”

“I’m so happy for you, Tama-chan and Kyo-chan!” Hani-senpai hugged the two. 

“Congratulations.” Mori put simply. 

“I made sure to have a cake scheduled to deliver for your graduation party.” Hani said. He sounded excited.

“Thank you, Hani-senpai.” Kyoya said. “From the both of us.”

Tamaki nodded and put an arm around Kyoya’s shoulders.

Indeed, this was going to be a joint graduation party, just as Hani and Mori-senpai’s was last year. The two announced it a few months back that they would be sharing the celebration at the Suoh estate.

“The party is going to be awesome.” Hikaru and Kaoru grinned in unison. The twins jumped ahold of the opportunity to plan the party a few months back when they overheard Tamaki and Kyoya discussing their party. Though, having the twins in charge of anything made the rest of the hosts uneasy not knowing what to expect.

However, it really surprised the other hosts how great the twins were at being serious planners. Karou knew their hard work paid off when Kyoya actually complimented how well they handled things. They delegated each of the members besides Kyoya and Tamaki a task and went from there overseeing the preparations from start to finish. The twins had put Mori-senpai on set-up, Hani-senpai on cake and food, the twins themselves decorated, and Haruhi made out the invitations. The only thing they couldn’t really control was that Suoh-san and Ootori-san wanted some of their business partners to be invited to the party. Though, the whole day was scheduled so that once all the stuffy, rich people (as Haruhi called them) left, then it would be only close friends left to have some fun. 

“Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.” Tamaki put his hands up. “We still have to get through the ceremony without crying!”

“Well, if you do,” Haruhi said, pulling a travel-size tissue pack out of her purse, “I have some tissues for you. Here, take some.”

Of course, Tamaki started crying. Kaoru knew this must have been possibly an inside joke between them, he smiled.

Hikaru, Kaoru, and Hani-senpai hugged the pair, making sure to soothe Tamaki. Haruhi, who got caught in the middle, was being squeezed a bit too tightly and Tamaki was desperately trying to pull himself together again. Then, mori wrapped his long arms around the outside of the group only to add to the pressure. 

After three more squeezes by Mori, the group was let go. Of course, they were all smiling like idiots. Then, everyone broke off into smaller groups and began conversing to fill the time before the ceremony started. Hikaru actually left Kaoru on his own to stand with Haruhi and Tamaki. Though, Kyoya did come up to Kaoru once the spot was vacated. 

“Congratulations.” Kaoru murmured, still sporting a stupidly large smile.

“Thank you.” Kyoya smirked.

They were silent and watched as everyone else milled around excitedly. Kaoru looked up to Kyoya and saw him looking down at Kaoru. They both blushed, Kyoya’s nearly undetectable and Kaoru looking like a tomato.

They had finally reconnected after Kaoru’s panic attack, some weeks after, during winter break. The two continued to keep that precarious distance between them, even though they both struggled with doing that. Kyoya’s father was still watching, they knew. Kyoya had actually told Kaoru that Yoshio made an effort to ask about the Hitachiin every so often. It was enough to set Kaoru on edge unlike Kyoya who found it somewhat amusing. Kaoru didn’t understand why it was so funny to him because it scared Kaoru shitless.

On the other hand, their friends seemed curious about the two of them. Kaoru and Kyoya had once spent so much time together back during the fall term, then suddenly stopped for an odd month or so before going back to ‘normal.’ It was very suspicious and neither of them bothered to try and explain their behavior. Little did their friends know Kaoru and Kyoya made daily FaceTime calls and texted each other a ridiculous amount after reconnecting over break, just without the blatant flirting. Hikaru was the only one who was in the loop and he had been very good about not slipping up about Kyoya and Kaoru’s relationship. He also stopped with the outbursts and overall childish behavior. Kaoru was more than grateful.

Overall, Kaoru thought it was nice to have that distance between them again. He could easily let his body make all the decisions for him, leaving his mind in the dust. The time he had now to move away from the physicality a relationship brought allowed him to sit down and sort through his feelings without Kyoya being a distraction. As much as Kyoya was helpful, he also was the source of all Kaoru’s late night fantasies and emotional tension. It wasn’t Kyoya’s fault, but sometimes Kaoru couldn’t go to him for advice. He was still Kaoru’s crush. Having a serious conversation with each other might be too uncomfortable or strenuous on their relationship, so Kaoru began going to Hani-senpai surprisingly enough. Hani-senpai had quite a bit of advice to offer. Though, Hani never asked Kaoru who the mysterious crush Kaoru spoke about was. Again, Kaoru was more than grateful.

Kyoya’s phone buzzed, interrupting the small moment he and Kaoru shared. He pulled it out of his front pocket of his pants. Kaoru watched Kyoya’s eyes sweeping back and forth as he quickly read the text message.

“Kaoru, could you do something for me?”

Kaoru cocked his brow giving Kyoya a curious look.

“Can you keep Tamaki distracted for a few minutes?”

“Well, yeah?”

“Thank you.” Kyoya’s smirk grew wider as he went off towards the entrance of the building. Kaoru watched as his open gown drifted behind him like a cape as he left.

_ Alright, Operation: Distract Tamaki. _

Kaoru’s mind swept through a long list of plans meant to distract. A few of those were specific to Tamaki. He weighed his options quickly choosing the best one approaching Hikaru from behind as he was still talking with Haruhi and Tamaki. Kaoru tapped Hikaru on the shoulder and whispered, “Distract Tamaki.”

Hikaru instantly slid over the left to let Kaoru have some room in the group and shifted the conversation easily.

“So, Tamaki, does baldness run in your family?” Hikaru grinned.

“What?!” Tamaki reached forward dramatically and grabbed Hiakru’s shoulders while Kaoru and Haruhi made eye contact over Tamaki’s form. Kaoru was grinning like a Hitachiin would while Haruhi looked unimpressed and almost deadpan, clearly realizing the twins’ plans.

Tamaki babbled about how his father, the chairman, had a full head of hair even at his age and how even his mother’s side of the family had been blessed with beautiful blond hair like his own. How dare Hikaru even question it since the King of the host club still had such great hair. Was he actually balding? Wait, Hikaru, stop laughing and look! Look at Tamaki’s head and make sure he isn’t balding! It would mean disaster if he did. Oh, God! He can’t be a true host with unsightly bald spots! 

Hikaru pointed out how offensive it would be for a bald person to hear that.

Kaoru was having a staring contest with Haruhi behind Tamaki’s back as he was bent over Hikaru still panicking about baldness. She kept her look of disappointment while Kaoru beamed at his great work. However, something caught Haruhi’s eye and she focused on the commotion going on behind Kaoru. Her face morphed into pure surprise with comically widened eyes and mouth shaped like an ‘o.’ Kaoru couldn’t tell if it was a good or bad surprise from Haruhi alone. So, he turned to see for himself. He saw Kyoya standing next to a beautiful woman. Kaoru instantly knew who she was without ever seeing a recent photo of her. 

Kaoru heard Hikaru stop laughing. He probably had noticed the spectacle as well. Yet, Tamaki continued talking completely oblivious to who had arrived for him. Eventually, the silence in the room grew so much that Tamaki noticed. When his head turned and he saw the woman standing so near yet so far away, he stilled like a statue.

The woman, Anne-Sophie de Grantaine, was dressed in a beautiful light blue, A-line dress with large, white daisies. Her wavy hair was pulled into a loose bun that spilled out on the sides. On her ears were simple diamond stud earrings that matched a bracelet on her wrist. Her cheeks had the lightest dusting of pink and long eyelashes to match. She had gotten so sick before she was treated at the Ootori’s, losing a lot of her energy and looking so frail. Thankfully, Anne-sophie seemed to be responding to the treatments, her health continuing to improve so much so that she could fly out to see her son for his graduation.

“René?” The woman called.

There was a fraction of a second in which the club could see Tamaki’s eyes filling with tears and a delightfully surprised look passed across his face. He was in front of his mother in seconds wrapping his arms around her. She had a similar look of joy and accepted him into her arms fully. They stayed like that for a few moments while everyone else watched the heartfelt scene unfold. Renge took a few photos of the moment.

This wasn’t Tamaki and his mother’s first time meeting since his grandmother had forced Tamaki to live in Japan and never see his mother again. Kyoya had worked on the rueful, old woman to reverse her decision. Eventually, Shizue Suoh did reverse her decision, albeit little by little, thanks to Kyoya. Though, unbeknownst to Shizue, Kyoya found Anne-Sophie long before his confrontation with her and thankfully, he was able to work around the old hag in case she didn’t change her mind. Afterall, Anne-Sophie was invited to stay in an Ootori hospital and get treatment through the Ootori group for lupus many months prior. Kyoya would have allowed Tamaki to visit his mother while she was there even if Shizue forbade it. Of course, it would be in complete secrecy. However, the timing wasn’t right and Kyoya was only able to get Tamaki to the airport just as Tamaki’s mother was flying back to France. It was only five minutes, but Tamaki was nothing but grateful. 

Tamaki had been under the impression that he wouldn’t see her until after graduation when he would stay in France for a few months while her things were being packed up bit by bit and sent to the main Suoh estate. His things were going to be moved as well as since he was allowed to live in the main estate after his grandmother's reversal. Normally, he would stay home for the move, but he didn’t want to miss out on spending time with his mother.

Tamaki pulled back from the hug and began to speak rapid fire French to her. Kaoru, who only knew rudimentary French, was reeling after hearing Tamaki. Anne-Sophie kept a warm smile and nodded at the appropriate moments. After Tamaki stopped speaking, she cradled his face in her hands and gave him the brightest smile. Kaoru saw that Tamaki definitely took the illuminating smile after his mother.

“Félicitations,” She congratulated then said in Japanese, “I’m proud of you.”

“Merci, merci beaucoup.” Tamaki hugged her again. “I’m so happy you were able to come.”

“I’m happy too.” 

Kyoya stood to the side of the two. Kaoru saw the small smile that graced his lips as he watched. He looked a bit out of place which was new for Kyoya. Nevertheless, he stood straight and proud. Kaoru felt the butterflies in his stomach seeing him smile. 

Tamaki then turned to Kyoya and grabbed his shoulders. Kyoya wasn’t phased anymore by Tamaki’s touchiness. He simply wavered a bit with the force.

“You?” It was soft and filled with doubt, but so much love. Kaoru was sure Tamaki was going to start sobbing and bowing down to him in gratitude.

“You’re welcome for your graduation present.” Kyoya didn’t sound in any way sincere. However, Tamaki still pulled him into a hug. Kyoya grinned into Tamaki’s shoulder.

Tamaki eventually took a step back from Kyoya. He took his mother’s hand and escorted her to the auditorium where the graduation was being held. Suoh-san popped out of nowhere and joined the pair. It was probably the happiest Kaoru had seen the man.

Kaoru heard Hani-senpai sigh happily, “I love happy families.”

Mori-senpai grunted and nodded. “Very happy.”

The rest of the group stayed and talked for a few more minutes until an announcement was made over the school’s PA system stating the ceremony was starting in ten minutes. All the graduates that were in the lobby outside of the auditorium left their families to get ready for the ceremony. 

Hikaru stepped to Kaoru when Kyoya drifted off with the rest of his classmates. He gave a curt nod followed by a wink. Kaoru was pleasantly surprised to see Hikaru go to Haruhi next. She stood alone and still amongst the throngs of people moving to the auditorium. Kaoru considered her for a moment. By the end of the first term of their second year, Haruhi had come out as a girl. It was something he had never thought he would say just because Haruhi’s situation was quite unusual. She still dressed in the boys’ uniform and for the most part kept her hair short. However, she did let it grow out a little past the tips of her ears. It gave off a boyish and playful look that suited her. 

Hikaru linked arms with Haruhi. She smirked and walked with Hikaru into the auditorium. Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai were next to walk through the tall French-style double doors. Hani-senpai looked back to Kaoru with a concerned yet curious look. Mori-senpai sensed the blonde’s hesitation and followed his gaze. Kaoru quickly caught up to them with a sheepish smile.


	13. "I wouldn’t be surprised if you two have teamed up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: "i DoNt LiKe DrAmA"  
> also me: *writes dramatic fic* 
> 
> Guys, I don't know what happened with this chapter and it was not even remotely close to what I had planned but I digress. I had to deal with the death of a family member recently, it was the reason why I had said my updating would slow down. However, I think I'm through the thick of it but I'm a slow writer anyways so no hope for weekly updates lol.
> 
> I should also preface this chapter with three things:  
> 1) I know nothing about oceans (I don't live near one)  
> 2) I have never had a concussion before and I am not a doctor/medical professional  
> 3) tw: injury
> 
> Good luck with this one, you'll need it :)

The graduation party was probably one of the best nights of Kyoya’s life. Of course, he had to get through the first three hours entertaining his father’s as well as Suoh-san’s friends and business partners. It was made more bearable because Tamaki was beside him most of the time. The blond was way more interesting than the vast majority of the men in the room. However, once everyone had left, Suoh-san and Kyoya’s father went off to enjoy each other’s company alone, and the daytime staff went home, it meant the real party had started.

The twins went about setting up music while everyone began setting the coffee table in the den for dinner. The host club gathered around, sitting on the floor while they dug into the meat, vegetables, and rice. They carried on like that for a few hours, just talking and enjoying each other’s company with full bellies. They eventually got up and became more active. Dancing and singing along, with tone-deaf voices for some of the hosts, they spun and twisted around each other with a few playful shoves here and there.

Kyoya was content to sit on the floor in front of the couch with a soda in hand and watch. However, Tamaki had different plans. He pulled Kyoya off the ground by taking the hand not holding a beverage and forcing him to twirl. 

“Come on, Mama, let’s dance.”

Kyoya wanted to punch Tamaki, a thought he had so often after hearing that nickname, yet he pushed the angry reaction to the back of his mind. The only indication of his anger was the small frown and rolling of eyes he did.

“Only if you don’t step on my toes.” Kyoya responded, sitting his drink down.

“You really think I’m so much of a klutz?”

“ _ Think?” _ Kyoya breathed a laugh. “I  _ know  _ you’re a klutz.”

Tamaki reddened significantly, “I’m not going to step on your toes.”

“Fine, then let’s dance, Daddy.”

Tamaki wasn’t a poor dancer, far from it. The only problem was that Tamaki often got distracted and would begin to make mistakes. Other than that Kyoya really had nothing to worry about except for himself. He briefly recalled his dance lessons he took almost eight years ago, when he was taught more casual styles, and began to dance. 

Kyoya secretly hoped no one was paying attention to them. He could play host and dance with the girls to his heart’s content, it was easy to play the role. However, when it was just him open for others to see, it was uncomfortable. He was used to scrutiny, criticism, and the like when it came from his father. Even then, what Kyoya showed was a role, a mask of the perfect son that was being judged. Now, as Tamaki took his hand to spin him around again, he was much more vulnerable than he wanted or realized. He scowled at the thought. He didn’t mind letting his friends see him so carefree, they probably would encourage it. However, he was an introvert by nature only forced to socialize because of his status in the Ootori family as well as the series of events that led him to taking part in the host club.

When he faced Tamaki once more, their hands leaving each other, Tamaki must have seen the annoyed expression on his face. It was a troubling mystery for Tamaki and even still he didn’t let it stop him. Instead, he doubled his efforts to get Kyoya to stop clamming up. Something already noticeable by Kyoya’s stiff movements. 

Tamaki was too damn perceptive, Kyoya thought. In order to counteract Tamaki, Kyoya grabbed Tamaki’s hand and spun the blond around four times as fast as Tamaki’s feet could allow him. Of course, when Tamaki came back to position, he wobbled with dizziness and obvious queasiness. Kyoya laughed at him.

Fortunately for Kyoya, the song ended not long after. He was a little winded by Tamaki’s fast and unrelenting pace and wanted to sit back down to drink more of the overly sugary soda. He was in the process of turning away when Tamaki clamped down on Kyoya’s wrist with an iron grip. With the biggest puppy-dog eyes he could muster, Tamaki begged for more dances with Kyoya. Kyoya couldn’t refuse.

Tamaki wrung a few more dances out of him before Kyoya had to take a drink. Once he was alone, a certain redhead finally made his way over. Kaoru had a knowing smirk that made Kyoya feel all the more exposed.

“So,” Kaoru drawled, “you’re a dancer.”

Kyoya didn’t want to face Kaoru directly. He glared at him out of the corner of his eye. 

Kaoru was quite dashing in his party outfit. When the party started, it was a peach colored button up and gray vest combo with black slacks, an outfit that matched Hikaru’s except for the color as Hikaru wore light blue. His hair was pushed back carelessly into a quiff, extra clips were put in to keep the longer strands of hair from falling into his eyes. But as the night went on, Kaoru forgoed the vest and unbuttoned the top of the shirt. It left a sizable amount of skin on display, one the Kyoya had to tear his eyes from. His hair had been danced out of the hold of the gel, falling back into a more familiar style.

“Only when I have to be,” Kyoya finally responded.

Kaoru laughed, “I believe you. You looked more uptight dancing than you did greeting your father’s business partners.”

Kyoya scowled. He wanted to dance with Kaoru more than anything and he had a feeling he wouldn’t be as uptight with the younger twin. However, it would also be quite suspect because Kyoya didn’t think either of them would be able to control themselves. Not when his mind ran off with the daydreams of encircling Kaoru’s waist with his hands. Dipping lower to his hips, gliding over the material of his pants, wishing he could feel what was beneath it. And God, those pants he had on were sinful in their own right. The twins never wore anything ill fitting, not on Yuzuha-san’s watch, unless intentional. The twins’ looks were more traditional so there was barely any slack in the fabric. 

Though, Kyoya couldn’t help but notice the alterations allowing tighter fits around certain areas, specifically around Kaoru’s backside. Truly, it was hell for him not to point it out.

“I don’t care for Tamaki’s dancing.”

“Yeah, I wonder what was put into his drink. I’ve never seen him this excited.”

Kyoya shook his head and crossed his arms, “This is his normal level of excitement for an event like this. He was like this when he first came to Japan.”

Kaoru cringed at the thought and Kyoya was amused by it. 

The sudden movement in front of Kyoya and Kaoru caught their attention. It turned out to be Hani-senpai and Reiko-san spinning uncontrollably and laughing all the while. 

“I heard you and your family were going to the Okinawa beach house for a week,” Kaoru mentioned, “You know, during summer break?”

“Yeah, it’s going to be Father, Mother, Akito and me. I’m not looking forward to it.”

“What if I said the Hitachiins were also going to be on vacation the very same week at their summer home in Okinawa?”

Kyoya turned very slowly to Kaoru. The twin looked absolutely wicked, the all too familiar upturned lips in place. Kyoya wasn’t upset, far from it. He was excited, even proud by Kaoru’s quick work and silver tongue he most definitely used to persuade his family to go.

“I would ask how one worked so quickly to bring about such a change,” Kyoya inquired.

“I didn’t have to do much.” Kaoru looked to his brother who was helping Renge with setting up the Karaoke. “Hikaru backed me up on it and once your name was said, my mom was instantly on board.”

Kyoya closed his eyes and smiled sweetly. Yuzuha-san was more than a great woman, he decided.

“There isn’t something that I should know about, is there?” Kaoru inspected Kyoya’s face looking for the crack in his features, one that Kaoru wouldn’t find.

“No, nothing to be concerned about. After all, your mother is a force of her own that I couldn’t possibly contend with. I also wouldn’t bother her as fashion design isn’t where the Ootoris’ priority lies.”

Kaoru rolled his eyes, “Of course, you’re trying to redirect me. Could it be that you aren’t trying to cause conflict with her, rather join forces with her? I wouldn’t be surprised if you two have teamed up.”

Kyoya raised his eyebrows. It seemed he had a bad habit of underestimating the younger twin at times like this. Together, he and Hikaru made excellent observations, always on the lookout for an interesting tidbit of gossip or rumors they could play off of. It was only natural for Kaoru to connect the two.

“You did not!” Kaoru’s voice was wavering, bordering mocking and upset while his face betrayed his curiosity.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“That’s what you do when you don’t want to lie, but you don’t want to tell the truth either. Spill!”

Kyoya sighed. He thought back to the twins’ sixteenth birthday party he had attended. It was back when his feelings for Kaoru were relatively new and recently realized. He was sitting alone in the den thinking about it when Yuzuha came to him with drinks in hand. 

“Young Ootori,” She had said jokingly, “What troubles you?”

Of course, Kyoya was polite. “Nothing is wrong, Hitachiin-san. I was only thinking about the host club.”

She hummed thoughtfully. She sat one of the glasses down in front of Kyoya keeping the other for herself. Kyoya observed her carefully as he sipped the punch. Her eyes were roaming over the many pictures on the TV stand. Most of them were of the twins, a few were pictures of their grandparents and other relatives. 

“How is the host club doing? Hikaru and Kaoru don’t tell me enough.” She asked Kyoya.

“It’s going well. We have been highly successful in attendance as well as satisfaction.” 

“Everything is well with the hosts themselves?”

Kyoya kept himself from raising an eyebrow. His mind whirled trying to understand why she asked. “Of course. There’s no animosity among us.”

She waved a hand and laughed, “Oh, no. Nothing like that. I mean, how are the hosts doing? I hear about all of you through your parents, but I assume you could tell me a little bit more.”

Kyoya nodded, “Yes, everyone is doing well.”

“And you? Are you doing well?”

“Yes.”

Yuzuha smiled and took another sip, “I wanted to speak with you while you were here, away from the others.”

A tendril of anxiety curled around his gut. He pushed it away. She wasn’t necessarily going to tell him something bad or worrisome.

She continued, “I know you and Kaoru have been working very closely this past school year, more so than usual.”

This was bad.

“I have noticed Kaoru has changed quite a bit, and by extension Hikaru as well. I know you’re not the specific reason why they have been spending more time apart. However, I’m surprised by how well you two work together.”

“Kaoru is a hard worker and very reliable.” Kyoya supplied flatly. He had to play this interaction safe. He had no idea what Yuzuha-san’s intentions were and he didn’t want to reveal too much to her. He was sure she wasn’t malevolent, but if his father knew . . .

“Of course, he’s more focused than Hikaru and a lot of people in this world.” She tilted her head and gazed intently at the youngest Ootori. “But, Kaoru’s abilities are not what I wanted to talk about with you.”

Kyoya’s hands were resting on his knees and he subconsciously gripped them tighter, “What would you like to talk about, Hitachiin-san?”

“I wanted to talk to you about Kaoru. Before I start, I want to make a few things clear: firstly, anything you say will not be spoken about with anyone else. I promise that I won’t tell anyone anything. Secondly, I choose to speak with you personally since I know you are mature enough to hear what I’m about to say. Kaoru isn’t ready for this conversation and I’d rather he come to me, rather than me to him. Thirdly, you don’t have to agree, confirm, or deny anything I say. Afterall, I’m only going to tell you my suspicions which may or may not be true. If you are uncomfortable with correcting me, I won’t force you to do so.

“Do you understand?” She searched Kyoya’s face.

He nodded, but kept his breath held until she started.

“I believe there may be something between you and Kaoru.” She put a hand to her chin as if she were thinking to herself. “I see the club photos online sometimes and you two are often together, enough to rival how often Kaoru and Hikaru are together. What really made me question Kaoru’s thoughts and feelings was the way he looks at you.”

Kyoya felt his cheeks flush. It was completely out of his control, but he wished he hadn’t done that.

“And the way you return his look.” She turned to face away from Kyoya again, a more troubled look passed across her face. “Of course, I may be completely off my mark here, but I know that you would be able to clear up anything if you were willing to speak about this. I know you were less likely to blow up on me and become defensive. It is what I fear Kaoru would do if I tried.”

“I- . . .” Kyoya began, yet he couldn’t get the words out. Even though she said she wouldn’t tell anyone about what he was going to say, Kyoya was still apprehensive. 

“Kyoya-kun, I have no judgement if what I’m insinuating is true. In fact, I would encourage it. I want what makes my children happy and if you and Kaoru are happy together, then I would want nothing less.”

Kyoya was quiet when Yuzuha gave him time to speak. He used a few moments to collect his thoughts. He didn’t see why he should stay and explain, but he also knew Yuzuha may be the only one who understood his situation. She was quite openly in support of gay relationships. Kyoya knew in his core that he needed an ally, Yuzuha may be the only one close enough.

“Are you giving me your blessing?” He half-joked.

She laughed loudly, “I think I am! Now that you say it, I will reiterate clearly, ‘I give you my blessing to marry my son.’”

Kyoya looked away from her still aware of the rising color in his face, “I dislike speaking about such private things. Even so you are being sincere and caring enough to discuss this with me rather than my father, I greatly appreciate it.”

“I should warn you,” Her voice took on a somber tone, “I can’t do much with respect to your father. I cannot lie to him nor would I do anything to disrespect him. He and I are friends as well as business partners. It would be quite a messy situation if I were to circumvent his authority over you as a parent.”

“I understand.”

“Good,” She grinned, “and since you haven’t told me one way or another about my  _ insinuations _ , I don’t have to lie to your father. Not that it matters because this conversation never happened.”

Yuzuha-san gave a wink before walking back to where the rest of the guests were congregated. Kyoya didn’t move from his spot on the sofa and was pleasantly surprised that no one else came to him after that. 

“God,” Kaoru said, bringing Kyoya back to the present moment, “we have never been able to keep her from knowing what we do or how we feel.” 

Kyoya chuckled, “That’s all you focused on?”

“What? She knew I liked you before I did!” Kaoru shook his head and brought his fingers to his temples. “What the hell?”

“She knew before I did as well.”

“Oh?”

“Well, I didn’t know exactly how you felt, but I was very sure about how I felt.”

Kaoru groaned, “I’m dumb.”

“You were blinded by love,” suggested Kyoya. He then paused realizing all too late what he had just said. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to put words in your mouth.”

He had screwed up. Certainly, Kaoru was going to feel conflicted and pressured to return the sentiment. Honestly he had never meant to push Kaoru like that since it was such an impactful statement. Kyoya couldn’t stop the deflating feeling in his chest.

“Maybe you’re right,” Kaoru whispered. Kyoya could hear him, though, and it made his chest swell warmly.

That was until Renge stole the microphone to the Karaoke machine that Hikaru had gotten ready and began screeching. Kyoya lost all feeling within himself from the onslaught of torture in the form of singing.

.

.

.

.

The waves lapped the shore lazily. It mirrored what Kaoru felt while laying on his beach towel, unmotivated. This was the third day of the Hitachiin family summer vacation in Okinawa and he had yet to see a glimpse of Kyoya. He was a little worried since he hadn’t heard from the youngest Ootori since they departed about five days ago. That meant Kaoru only had two more days to spend with Kyoya before his family would return to Tokyo. Then after those two days, Kaoru would be stuck with his family for another nine to complete their two week vacation. Meaning, more time without seeing Kyoya.

Kaoru sighed and rolled onto his stomach. His chest was starting to get burnt and he really didn’t feel like reapplying sunscreen. Distantly he heard the radio playing old hits from his parent’s time as well as his father’s typing on a keyboard. Just behind Kaoru, his parents were seated at a table with an umbrella. Hikaru sat with them sipping intermittently on a non-alcoholic pina colada. 

There wasn’t any talk. It was strange for the Hitachiins, at least it was strange for their mother to be so silent. When Kaoru looked up, he found his mother asleep in her chair, a hand resting on her eight-month pregnant belly. Her sunglasses were slightly skewed and her hair just as wild. Kaoru’s father was never much of a talker, so he didn’t say much unless he was being spoken to. Hikaru seemed just as unmotivated to do anything as Kaoru and didn’t want to waste a breath on doing unnecessary talking.

So there Kaoru was stuck doing absolutely nothing, that is, until Kyoya calls and then Kaoru would probably shoot up like a rocket and fly out of there.

Why did Kyoya ignore him? Kaoru had been pondering this question since Kyoya had left Tokyo. Did Ootori-san take all of Kyoya’s electronics away? He left a few messages a couple of days ago when they had first arrived, nothing out of the ordinary. However, Kyoya never did see them or respond to them. Now that Kaoru had more time than usual to worry about it, his thoughts almost entirely revolved around the question. Hikaru had suggested a little sleuthing around to see. They weren’t far from Kyoya’s family and could have easily walked. However, the threat of the private police force deterred any further action to snoop around the estate.

It left Kaoru irritable, Hikaru annoyed, and their parents completely oblivious and enjoying their time off from work. Kaoru knew he should relax a little before he had to go back to school, but Kyoya was always there at the forefront of his mind to remind Kaoru of his absence.

“Oh, dear.” Kaoru heard his mother say along with a couple groans and sharp exhales. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep out here. I’m so stiff now.”

“Do you need some help?” Kaoru’s father got up to lend a hand to Yuzuha.

She used her husband’s strength as leverage to get up and walk back to the House. “I’m going in to lay down,” She called, “Ageha is wearing me out.”

The twins’ father sighed, “She was so much more exhausted when she was pregnant with you two, you know?”

“I can only imagine,” Hikaru said, though he didn’t sound too sincere.

“We were sucking the life out of her probably,” Kaoru commented.

“You haven’t stopped,” their father laughed at his joke before resuming his typing. “Where should we have dinner tonight or would you rather have something here?”

Kaoru buried his face into the sandy beach towel to avoid having to talk. Hikaru looked to the rolling ocean rather than his father.

“Oh, c’mon. We can go to your favorite ramen shop, no? We can get the Fire Breathing Dragon.”

The twins’ heads snapped to their father at the mention of their favorite dish. It was the spiciest ramen on the island prefecture, mixed with a Korean style sauce, topped with different types of chiles and thick slices of beef, all served in a massive bowl large enough for the entire family to share. Kaoru’s mouth watered at the memory of it.

“Of course, your mother won’t be eating it with us.” The twins’ father winked.

“Well, you never know. Ageha might like spicy foods.” Hikaru shrugged and pushed the sunglasses he had perched on his nose onto his head.

“Your mother has severe acid reflux right now and I don’t think she’ll appreciate it.” Their father closed his laptop and stood. “I’m heading in, too. Are you guys going to stay out here longer?”

“Yeah,” the twins said in unison.

Their father nodded and trudged through the soft sand back to the Hitachiins’ Okinawa home. Hikaru stood as well, taking his shirt and bracelets off and putting them on the table carefully. He then strode to Kaoru and crouched down.

“Would you like to go for a swim?”

They swam out about twenty meters from dry shore where the waves didn’t roll into a barrel, crashing down on itself. All they had to do was keep bobbing in motion with the incoming waves to keep their heads out of the water. They were like that for a while. Kaoru watched the waves appear from the seemingly infinite horizon contemplating on Kyoya some more. Really, he should tire of it but his mind wouldn’t let him stop. Hikaru tried to flip under the water with the waves, but only ended up cleaning out his sinuses in the more unpleasant way.

“What are we going to do tomorrow?” Hikaru asked after blowing the water out of his nose.

“I don’t know.” Kaoru paced out farther ducking under when another surge came through. He breached the surface shaking the droplets from his face. “I wanted to see Kyoya.”

Hikaru was silent. The sounds of the ocean helped drown out the annoying and pestering thoughts that wanted to fill up the space. 

“There isn’t a lot here that we haven’t done.” Kaoru supplied.

“You’re right. It’s just that . . .” He wiped more water from his face. “What am I going to do? I don’t want to hold you back because you have been with me this whole time. And-”

They both went under when another big surge came in. 

Hikaru resurfaced and continued, “I don’t want to be the third wheel.”

“Right. I know hanging with mom and dad isn’t exactly the most fun.” Kaoru spat out the salt water that had accidentally gotten into his mouth. “I don’t think being around Kyoya and me would be any fun either.”

Hikaru chuckled but the sound was lost from the violently churning waves. Kaoru frowned as he had to go under again. The waves were a lot higher than they were just a few moments ago. The crests easily went a meter over their heads and plowed through aggressively to the shore.

“I think we should head back!” Kaoru yelled as he noticed Hikaru had strayed farther from him than he realized. “The waves are getting rough!”

“You think!” Was the only response he heard when a series of wall-like waves began to head towards them. There was no way they could out swim them and it would be hard to try and swim under them with how close together they were.

Kaoru racked his brain to remember what their father had said about the weather that morning. The only time when waves were like this was when there was a lot of wind on the ocean. However, when the Hitachiins were on the shore there was no wind to speak of, other than the slight breeze that you normally felt off the ocean. There was also the problem of tides. Kaoru didn’t check that morning to see what the tide tables showed. It meant that the swim back to the beach may be much longer than what they swam to get out there. If so, the journey back could be dangerous as they would also have to fight the strong, breaking waves and the strong undertow carrying the water back out along the sand.Kaoru looked back to the beach and saw just how far out they were, or at least it appeared that they were far out. 

The series of waves had started to descend on them within a second of Kaoru turning back around. Kaoru let the first wave roll over him while underwater. He dug his feet in the sand as best as he could at the bottom to prevent him moving too much and getting disoriented. When he hit a point where he could resurface to get more air but could go back underwater if need be, he went up to check for an opening to breathe. Thankfully, there was a lull which he took a huge gulp. For the next four or so waves he jumped as best as he could off the floor to ascend up with the wave before slipping back down into the trough. After those waves began breaking on the shore, he saw that was the end of that series of large waves. There was an opening where they could advance quickly towards the shore before getting battered with more waves.

“Hikaru!” Kaoru cried.

Hikaru, who was about seven meters away and straying further, began to panickedly make large strokes with his arms and kicked his legs as hard as he could. Kaoru followed suit. 

Distantly he heard his name being called. At first, he thought it was Hikaru. He tried to look while swimming but it didn’t work out too well. He almost somersaulted in the water when a pretty powerful wave came through. When he got back to swimming, he saw that there were four figures on the beach waving and shouting both Hikaru and Kaoru’s names. He was about to call out when the next series of large waves began pounding through. Though, this time they were at the point of breaking and were raining down on top of both Hikaru and Kaoru. This was the part that would be the most dangerous and tricky. Kaoru knew they would have to probably wait it out otherwise the insanely tall drops of the rolling waves would crush them.

Hikaru and Kaoru both went under for the next series of waves as they began to break over their heads. The undertow felt strong and they tried their best to stay in the area. However, they both knew fighting it would only make it worse. Unfortunately for them, they had not realized they had been pushed up closer to the shore and not pushed away. When Kaoru resurfaced to get another breath of air, a wave broke over top of him and crashed down heavily onto his back. It had him flipping wildly in the water, hitting his head against the sand at the bottom as they were now in relatively shallow water. Unshockingly, the soft sand did not feel as soft when hitting his head against it as it did when strolling through it.

The pain that exploded through him was immense in his back at first but suddenly faded to an ache. It left only the ever mounting pressure in his head. Kaoru knew something was off but the dizziness of being spun around like he was in the rinse cycle of a washing machine had to be stopped before he could do anything more. Yet, the dizziness didn’t stop and he was still under water. He panicked, his arms and legs thrashing. He eventually found purchase against the floor rushing up to the surface only to be met with another wave pushing him down. His lungs had reflexively inhaled and was only filled with heavy sea water.

He tried to come back up only to be smothered by more waves. It felt never ending, he would try to come back up only to have another wave push him harshly to the floor only for the current along the floor to drag him away from the shore. He contemplated giving up since it wasn’t looking so good for him. That was until he felt a hand at his arm. It pulled him up to the surface and carried him along to the shore. The waves had calmed down significantly, not that Kaoru noticed at all. His lungs were still filled with water and his head was fuzzy and stuffed with cotton. Nothing was making a lot of sense at the moment.

A particularly strong hit to the gut had the water forcefully knocked out of his lungs. He coughed and gagged and possibly could have thrown up, who knows. He was rolled onto his back once the cough fit had subsided and a hand was placed on his shoulder shaking gently to rouse him. It was then that he realized his eyes were closed. When he opened them, the light was almost blinding and made his head pulse angrily with pain. He gritted through barely open eyes and found to his horror that there were people surrounding him, but he didn't recognize them. It was like there was an obscuring filter over their faces, yet he was seeing perfectly at the same time. One of the people in front of him, an older man, had said something to him but he legitimately had no idea how to respond. He felt frustration and confusion of not knowing. 

“We need to take him to the hospital immediately. I’m certain he has a head injury.” It was the older man again and this time Kaoru was able to piece the words together into something remotely comprehensible. 

Kaoru looked closely at the man and realized he had been staring at Ootori-san this whole time. The shock had him reeling with even more fear and confusion. Why had he not recognized him? He looked around and saw his parents and Hikaru to one side and Kyoya on the other. All eyes were on him, serious and perhaps just as panicked as he felt.

He couldn’t stop himself from saying, “What the fuck?”

“It’s alright, Kaoru.” His mother spoke gently, though the wavering in her voice let on to just how unnerved she was. “We’re going to go inside and wait on the ambulance.”

“I understand.” He said slowly and carefully. 

Trying to walk back to the house was hard because being upright only made his head hurt worse and the dizziness increased. A few times he stumbled when he got off balance, though Hikaru and Kyoya were there to keep him from falling. When they got back into the house, Kaoru was feeling more in the loop but still nothing felt right. Not to mention his headache was getting worse, the pressure grew and swelled so much that Kaoru thought his head might explode.

He was placed on the small sofa in the foyer. He took advantage of the entire thing to lay down and curl into the fetal position. The pain wouldn’t go away even then. It was all he could think about as the pain took his focus and concentration away. It felt like eternity before the ambulance showed up. The summary of events was covered by Ootori-san who had given minimal details and basically sent Kaoru off quickly with the technicians. By the time Kaoru bothered to open his eyes again, he was in a hospital emergency room. No one was with him and the lights were dimmed. It was strangely quiet, but Kaoru didn’t dwell on it. He had changed out of his swim trunks and put on the hospital clothes provided for him to wear.

The doctors and nurses came in waves checking on him, asking how he felt and to retell the events from his perspective and if he needed anything. He answered them as best he could then turned them away, allowing himself to drift to sleep. They eventually came in to get him for the scans. It was then Kaoru realized his headache had eased off, though it had more to do with the IV in his arm than him actually getting better. They took him to a few different rooms with large, white, impersonal machinery in them. After he was done, they placed him back in a wheelchair and took him to his room. He had actually dozed off while in the chair.

It was dark out when a nurse woke him up again. She was middle-aged and her hair was tied back in a bun.

“Hello, I’m Nurse Akagi and I’ll be in here to check on you every hour. I’ll have to wake you every time I come in. I know it can be bothersome, but we need to observe you in order to catch any worrisome signs or symptoms.”

Kaoru nodded, “How long have I been asleep?”

“About an hour.”

“What time is it?”

“A quarter until nine.”

“Where’s my brother?”

“He’s in the waiting room with the rest of your family and friends. They have been told to keep out until you were awakened. Do you wish to see them?”

“Yeah.” Kaoru nodded and asked, “How long have I been asleep?”

“About an hour,” She smiled and walked off.

Kaoru wasn’t able to catch her before she was too far away to ask more questions. Instead, he let himself sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha we will get fluff next chapter I promise! also superdotingandcaringboyfriendslashdoctor!Kyoya moments
> 
> Have a good day/night!


	14. "I didn't want to leave you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is all over the place. i've been working on it little by little since the last time i updated almost a month ago so if there's consistency issues, that's why. but hey, at least it's longer than usual :))))
> 
> next chapter is going to be a 'return to normal' or 'return to our regularly scheduled program'. enjoy!
> 
> also thank you guys for 1900 hits!

Kyoya was in a bad mood. He had been in the same state of silent, cold fury for days. His father being the source of his anger as he had caught wind of Kyoya’s plans with Kaoru. Yoshio had stated that this vacation was a family only vacation. Kyoya bit his tongue when he wanted to say Kaoru was family. Regardless, it wasn’t like he was able to see Kaoru anyways as the Ootori patriarch decided the family should go to Yonaguni, a small island city within the Okinawa prefecture and western most island of Japan, for the first part of the trip. Kyoya had a sense that this was his father’s plan all along. Technically, he wasn’t lying when he said they were going to Okinawa.

What made Kyoya’s blood boil was the fact that he couldn’t tell Kaoru where they had gone. His father had placed emphasis on not using any technology while spending time with the family, not that Kyoya would have listened to him. Yet, his father went and rented a place with no internet. It was already bad enough that Kyoya had no cell service on the island, but no internet meant no way to contact anyone. Of course, there were ways his father could communicate with the outside world. Not to mention, all the staff they brought with them could send and receive text messages as well as calls.

It made Kyoya feel like he was being held ransom. He knew Kaoru was probably worried or angry. He really hoped that Kaoru wouldn’t be too upset with him.

Regardless, spending an inordinate amount of time with his father, mother, and brother was excruciating to say the least. He loved them, but he would never have voluntarily spent this much time doing nothing with them. Despite what Yonaguni did offer, his father was not interested in a lot of the activities. His mother would usually stay with Yoshio while Akito and Kyoya went out. Kyoya had never been really close with his brothers, and Akito was perhaps the furthest from Kyoya. They were not much alike and had very different goals in mind. Not to mention, Akito had been distancing himself recently which is why it came as a surprise to Kyoya that he even came along. Yet, because of this distance he allowed to grow, Akito all but became a stranger. 

There were parts of his personality that would never change, that much was certain. His uptight nature, sternness, and persistence were foundational. But Kyoya couldn’t help to notice how much Akito had changed. The second youngest Ootori had become quieter and more withdrawn than usual and at the same time a lot more conversational with the people they interacted with. It was a strange dichotomy. Kyoya wasn’t surprised by the pointed silence his brother usually had about him, but his friendliness. Akito must have learned a thing or two while living away from the family.

Spending time with Akito wasn’t as bad as Kyoya thought. His brother didn’t bother him with pointless conversations and didn’t extend the awkward olive branch as Yuuichi did. In fact, Akito never let on that he was informed of Kyoya’s decisions regarding the Ootori business. It was very likely that Yoshio would have kept the eldest sons in the loop to see what would become of it. Kyoya had discovered that Yoshio was quite pleased with Yuuichi after hearing the summary of his and Kyoya’s conversation. Kyoya was sure his father was waiting for Akito’s response to the whole thing. There was an unspoken expectation for an acceptance or rejection of Kyoya’s plans to leave the game.

Akito never brought it up which was another surprise to Kyoya. Usually Akito liked to poke his nose into youngest Ootori’s business when Kyoya really didn’t want him there. Of course, Kyoya didn’t complain or fuss. It was annoying, sure. However, he had deemed it necessary when he still wanted the chance to become the leader of the Ootori group. Even after he had lost the drive and interest for it, he didn’t stop Akito’s snooping because there was nothing for Akito to find. It was more time and energy for Kyoya to try and hide the physical or virtual trails of his activities, something he would have to do since Akito never asked him anything directly. Kyoya was well aware of Akito’s overbearing questioning of Kaoru, and was amused when Kaoru declared his aversion to the brother. Again, it was annoying but a waste of resources to keep Akito out.

It did occur to Kyoya that Akito would try to untangle his relationship with Kaoru. Kyoya truthfully was unsure of Akito’s response. For his other siblings, Kyoya had pinned Yuuichi as someone who would never really understand, but would support Kyoya’s love interests anyway. Fuyumi didn’t have a judgemental bone in her body and would never stop loving Kyoya no matter who he was or what he did, and so would completely accept Kyoya and Kaoru. However, Akito was the unknown variable. Kyoya really couldn’t see him having a concrete stance one way or another, instead staying completely neutral. Kyoya knew his uncertainty stemmed from not being able to see Akito as accepting because he _knew_ Akito and as not accepting because Kyoya didn’t want to imagine his brother rejecting him. 

Akito didn’t mention it, so Kyoya assumed that he didn’t want to acknowledge it or didn’t know. Either way was an undesirable scenario. 

It also didn’t help that the two brothers had to share a room. They would both be awake late at night, or really early in the morning, pretending the other didn’t exist. Kyoya wished he was able to be on his phone so he could fill the hours with something to do, no matter how mindless. Instead, he had to listen to Akito’s almost inaudible breathing. It was how Kyoya knew he was awake and not sleeping. Once Kyoya looked over to the other twin bed in the room, the darkness plus not having his glasses on meant he really couldn’t see anything. However, Kyoya had the odd feeling he was being watched and sure enough when he looked over, he could see the blurry movement of his brother’s head turning to look away.

The stay at Yonaguni didn’t end soon enough. They flew back to Okinawa island and settled into the Ootori beach house. As soon as Kyoya was able, he texted Kaoru. He sighed a breath of relief and changed out of the clothes he wore on the flight. He felt the need to take a shower and a nap. However, Yoshio called him into the living room and announced that they were going to the Hitachiin residence. Kyoya perked up considerably.

Yoshio decided to drive themselves over in the black convertible kept at the house. Though, a group of security followed them in a black passenger van. The day was perfect for a ride in the convertible as it wasn’t too windy and the sun warmed Kyoya’s skin comfortably. 

Kyoya kept his excitement to himself. He had missed contact with the redhead and whether or not Kaoru was upset didn’t matter as long as Kyoya got to see him. During the ride, he thought of how to greet Kaoru. Kyoya wasn’t sure what to say that would placate the younger twin for being so quiet. However, Kyoya hoped Kaoru’s forgiving attitude would win out.

The Ootori’s arrived at the beach home mid-afternoon. The Hitachiin’s house was smaller than the Ootori’s and way more inviting. It was a more traditional style that blended into the surrounding environment. Large trees gave privacy around the property and the hedges out front acted as a privacy fence to further the feeling of seclusion. They were greeted at the door by staff who were then quickly dispatched by Yuzuha. Her grin was large and she welcomed the two Ootori’s into the Hitachiins’ own beach home. 

“Hello!” She bowed to both and they returned the gesture. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you, Ootori-san and you as well, Kyoya-kun.”

“Indeed, time seems to flow faster the older you get.” Yoshio chuckled. “How has your day been?”

“It’s been splendid. We’ve been having exceptional weather these past couple of days and we didn’t want it to go to waste. All of us have been staying outside.”

“I see.”

They continued their exchange back and forth. It was so dry that Kyoya needed eyedrops. He really only had his mind on one thing: seeing Kaoru. He waited patiently for the opportunity to speak up and ask where exactly the twins were. Yuzuha beat him to it.

“Oh Kyoya,” Yuzuha spoke, “The twins are on the beach if you would like to go see them.”

The woman must have been psychic. She winked as he walked towards the back of the house. He reached the kitchen-patio doorway and jogged to the stairway that led down to the private beach. The small landing at the top offered a pretty good view of the water. It was then Kyoya had noticed the strong wind that had suddenly picked up out of nowhere. It tugged at the button up and whipped his hair around his head. He searched the beach and found the twins were nowhere in sight. The table the Hitachiins had set-up was empty and the umbrella within the table was close to getting picked up by the wind. The table itself was wobbling violently with it.

Kyoya’s stomach dropped when he knew those idiots had decided to go swimming. Did they not check anything ever? In fact, he could see them swimming frantically back to the shore. They were so far out that Kyoya could only see their pale skin within the dark blue waves. He only knew it was them because their hair looked like black and red dots from so far away. Kyoya snatched his phone out of his pocket and set off his SOS alert knowing his father’s phone would go off. He rushed down the steps nearly slipping and tumbling down. He reached the sand and saw the driving waves crashing heavily onto the shore. He wanted to get closer but knew he had to stay away from the strong, rushing water as it pounded the land.

“Kaoru! Hikaru!” He shouted over the roaring thunder that filled the air.

Not too long after, Kyoya heard the twins’ father rush to his side, calling out for them as well. Kyoya was sick knowing that they really couldn’t do much more. If anyone tried to go out into the water, it would make things worse. However once the twins’ mother made it down the steps she almost ran right into the water. It took their father's strong embrace to hold her back while Kyoya continued calling. He hoped that Hikaru and Kaoru could hear his voice and swim in the right direction. They had to take lots of glances behind them to gage what else the ocean would throw at them and a lot of the time they couldn’t look for the shore.

Each time they went under the waves was nerve wracking because there was always a chance that one or both of them would not resurface. It was like watching a train wreck, too horrible to continue watching but you had to know how it would end. Kyoya gritted his teeth and his hands flexed into tight fists. He was powerless and seeing Kaoru with exhaustion and uncertainty plastered across his face made Kyoya feel all the more desperate.

When Kaoru resurfaced too soon and they watched that wave crash over him, all of them gasped. Kyoya nearly shot out into the water then but a tight grip on his shoulder from his father kept him in place.

“NO! KAORU!” The Hitachiins screamed.

All of them were frozen in place. They continued to search panickedly with their eyes, combing over the waves in search of the familiar red hair. They didn’t even notice Hikaru emerging on the shore running across the sand away from the next series of waves battering the shore. When he reached them, he fell to his hands and knees clearly out of energy. However, no one could say anything. Kyoya was in a state of shock and he could feel his stomach clench as he was about to be sick.

“Kaoru?” Hikaru panted. No one responded. 

Hikaru’s eyes widened. He quickly swept his eyes across their faces looking for something and not finding it. They stopped on Kyoya’s last and Kyoya could see clearly what Hikaru was planning to do. He felt another wave of ice cold fear streak through him as Hikaru’s face set stony and hard.

He growled, “Hikaru.”

But, the older twin had already shot up as quick as lightning and threw himself back in the water before anyone could stop him. Kyoya hoped and prayed to a God he didn’t even believe in that they wouldn’t lose both of the twins today.

“God, no.” Yuzuha was on the verge of tears as she sank into her husband’s arms. They both seemed to be supporting each other at that point.

Hikaru’s entrance back into the ocean was much more rocky than when he ran out. He had been hit by another rolling wave. The sound it made had Kyoya shuddering. Kyoya knew that these were waves that could crush someone to death. A lot of people suffered spinal injuries from it, breaking their vertebra and sometimes causing nerve damage along with it. He didn’t want to think about how bad Kaoru’s injuries were going to be.

Just as they were beginning to lose hope, Hikaru burst back through the water with a loud grunt. He shouted again, this time with the effort of pulling Kaoru’s dead weight back up to the surface. However, he had to push him back down as a wave came through. He somehow was able to get himself and Kaoru onto the dry sand of the shore before the next series of waves came through. Though, they had calmed down considerably.

Hikaru dragged himself and Kaoru back onto the shore then collapsed into a heap unable to move any further. Kyoya, Yoshio, and the twins’ father had to help the two of them get back closer to the stairs back up to the Hitachiins’ home. The ocean swept large waves over the spot where Hikaru had collapsed like it was trying to take the twins back into itself. 

Hikaru’s skin was marred with welts and steadily blooming bruises from the powerful waves. Kaoru didn’t seem to have too bad of bruises except for the knot slowly growing on his forehead. However Kyoya couldn’t see what was on his back as he was lying face up. What was more worrying was the fact that Kaoru wasn’t breathing. His lips, though, were still the rosy pink they usually were and his complexion seemed normal. His eyes were open, though they were mostly covered by his heavy lids, and glazed over.

Yoshio decided then was a good time to jump in. The twins father called for an ambulance without even needing to be told.

Yoshio checked Kaoru’s pulse, looked for any sort of breathing even though it was evident that there wasn’t any, and looked into Kaoru’s mouth all within several seconds. He then turned Kaoru on his side and jabbed him right in his gut. The onlookers only watched in horror, still too much in shock to stop him. It seemed to work because Kaoru’s body reacted at what would have been his breath getting knocked out by expelling all of the water in his lungs and stomach. Kaoru took huge, ragged gulps of air. Despite being quite disturbing to hear the raspy, whooping sound coming from the younger twin, it was only a relief to know he was breathing again.

Hikaru slowly rose from where they had left him only a few feet away and crawled over to Kaoru. Yuzuha reached out to him and held him to her. 

“Kaoru-kun?” Yoshio called. When Kaoru didn’t respond, he gently shook the teen. “Can you hear me?”

Kaoru opened his eyes slowly, but immediately grimaced and squinted. He looked around slowly. Yet, it didn’t seem like he was looking at all. His face was blank with the vaguest tinge of confusion written across it. Yoshio leaned closer and studied him. Kaoru’s pupils were of two different sizes, one just a pinpoint of black in the iris while the other was swallowed whole by the pupil.

“Kaoru, are you okay?”

Kaoru’s expression formed into something more distinct that expressed frustration and confusion. He grunted like he was about to say something, but he closed his eyes and pressed into a firm line.

“We need to take him to the hospital immediately. I’m certain he has a head injury.” Yoshio said, then looked at the twins’ father and nodded. “It’s a good thing you called for the ambulance already.”

There were a few beats where the group around the twin just stood there unsure of what to do. Kaoru was coming to, Kyoya could see it on his face. His eyes were not as glazed over and clearing. He appeared to have a dawning realization coming down on him, one that brought horror.

“What the fuck?” Kaoru murmured.

Kyoya wanted to laugh at just how silly it was, at least to him. It wasn’t really that funny, but Kyoya’s emotions were running high. He turned away from Kaoru and focused on the churning waves as they receded from the shore.

Yuzuha was the next to speak. Her voice was colored with emotion despite her effort to restrain it. “It’s alright, Kaoru. We’re going to go inside and wait on the ambulance.”

Kaoru was apprehensive and he spoke slowly as if he wasn’t sure of his words, “I understand.”

Hikaru was finally up and walking around. He didn’t seem like he was in too much pain. Though, Kyoya noted he would need help as well. Even still, Hikaru helped Kyoya with Kaoru. The trio had to make the perilous ascent back to the house. The younger twin was wobbly and losing balance so it took the efforts of Kyoya and Hikaru to keep him from rolling back down the stairs or pitching forward face first. They sat him down on a small sofa and he slumped over immediately. His hands were on his head and the pain was evident. Kyoya wanted to stay at his side, but he knew it wasn’t his place. His family needed to be there for their own sake as well as Kaoru’s.

The ambulance arrived and everyone was whisked away in an array of vehicles. When they arrived at the hospital, the nurses told them to stay in the waiting room. After all, all of the people that came for Kaoru amounted to a crowd. 

Kyoya sunk into a chair and rubbed a hand underneath his glasses. His father joined him but did not take a seat. 

“I will be leaving after I have heard whether they will be keeping Kaoru-kun or not. Would you like to stay?”

Kyoya considered his father’s words. He didn’t want to play mind games right now, so he answered honestly, “Yes.”

“Please keep your phone charged. That’s all I ask of you.”

His father returned to his personal employees. He asked one to stay behind to watch over Kyoya. Kyoya felt his mood sour again. It wasn’t like how he felt at the beginning of this trip. He felt bone-deep tired and upset with worry rather than anger. He could only imagine what Kaoru’s parents as well as Hikaru were going through.

Kyoya’s head perked up at the thought of the older twin. “Hikaru? Why don’t you get checked out?”

The dark haired twin had snuck off before the family left and put on a shirt. Yet, he was still in swim trunks and just as injured. He turned to Kyoya with a weird expression. “I’m not hurt.”

Kyoya didn’t have any words for the longest time. He just held his expression of disbelief. “Hikaru, you should still see a nurse about it.”

“About what? I feel fine!” The twin exclaimed. 

“You should see someone.” The twins’ father spoke up. “You got banged up out there. I think you're running on adrenaline right now so you’re not feeling it like you should.”

Hikaru looked back and forth between his father and his senpai. His head dropped down in defeat when he realized they were right. He went over to the nurse sitting at the desk in the waiting room and explained his condition. She asked him a few questions and almost immediately another nurse came through the door to take Hikaru back and have him examined. The rest of the group continued to wait for the doctor to return. Yuzuha kept glancing at Kyoya. She wanted to talk to him about something, but wouldn’t with Yoshio there. 

After thirty minutes, the doctor came.

“I need Hitachiin-kun’s parents and broth- . . . ?” The doctor started, then began searching for the other twin.

“He went back a few moments ago for his own injuries.” Hitachiin-san clarified, helping his wife from her chair.

“Oh. Well, then I’ll be seeing him shortly and updating you about his conditioning. If you could follow me please?”

Kaoru’s parents went back through the doors the doctor came out of. It left the Ootoris’ group in the waiting room. Another ten minutes went by before the Hitachiins came back. Yuzuha went to Yoshio first.

“They’re keeping him overnight.” She sighed. “His skull isn’t fractured, thank God, but he’s having trouble answering their questions and what he does answer is troubling.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, did they say what kind of medications they are giving him?”

“Right now, they’re just giving him a pain reliever and antibiotics. The doctor was worried he might need steroids, but as of now they aren’t seeing any swelling.”

Yoshio nodded, “That’s good. Let’s hope he can come home tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Yoshio.”

Kyoya’s father gave a curt smile before leaving with his entourage. Kyoya hadn’t realized how close his father and Yuzuha-san were. _First name basis?_

His father took his leave and left Kyoya with the one assistant, Uchida, behind. Kyoya had a hand in his pocket around his phone remembering what his father asked him to do.

“Well, let’s go to Kaoru’s room. Shall we?” Hitachiin-san said. His amiable smile was tense and his wife did not share it.

Kyoya nodded and followed them down the maze of identical hallways. The smell of it was overbearing; a mix of antiseptics, bleach primarily, and the lingering unpleasant messes from incredibly ill people. It was almost nostalgic for Kyoya, almost. It reminded him of the Ootori hospitals and the long periods he spent there with his father. Kyoya remembers Yuuichi when he was still in residency, not too long ago. He was never seen without scrubs on, a plastic covered ID clipped to his breast pocket, and a stethoscope slung over his neck. Unlinke Akito who didn’t pursue more schooling for medicine, rather continued on with business and added public health to his collection of certificates and diplomas. Kyoya only saw the middle brother in the offices with his father.

Eventually, they made it to Kaoru’s room for the night. The lights were dimmed down as low as they could go and the room was quiet at the end of the hallway, away from the commotion coming from the nurses’ station. Kaoru was curled on the bed under a thin blanket. He was wearing the gray hospital clothes, yet his hair showed he had not showered since he had been admitted. A off-white bandage was wrapped around his head. A nurse was beside him gently rousing him from sleep.

“Hitachiin-kun, your family and friends are here.” She spoke so softly that Kyoya could barely hear her over the sound of shuffling from the people crowding the room.

Kaoru rubbed his eyes like a child. They still held exhaustion. He looked like he was moments from falling back asleep.

“What?” Kaoru’s voice was harsh and obviously irritated.

“Your family and friends. You wanted to see them.”

Kaoru frowned. The expression was akin to something Hikaru would do when he was seriously pissed off. “You didn’t ask me?”

The nurse was patient, “You must have been half-asleep. I asked you and you said you wanted to see them.”

Kaoru sat up and sighed, “I guess so.”

The nurse smiled and patted his shoulder, “You don’t have to entertain them. They are here to make sure you’re okay. If you need some more time alone to rest, just say so.”

Kaoru shook his head. The nurse asked if he would like the bed in a sitting position, which he said yes to. Once Kaoru and everyone else was settled, the nurse left.

“I- . . . ,” Kaoru began, “I’m sorry for making you guys worry.”

“We didn’t worry,” His mother tried to keep up the running joke. She was always poking fun at her sons, making sarcastic comments, mixing them up on purpose. However, she couldn’t keep the tears from her eyes. “Focus on recovering.”

Kaoru didn’t respond to his mother’s tears. His face was oddly blank. “Where’s Hikaru?”

“He’s being examined for injuries,” His father said.

“Is he alright?”

“We don’t know yet.”

This seemed to anger Kaoru, “Why not?”

“He didn't see anyone right away which delayed his treatment, and we’re just waiting on the test results right now. No need to get upset.”

Kyoya bit the inside of his cheek seeing where this was going. Kaoru was in no state of mind to necessarily understand what his father was explaining. Kaoru really just needed comfort, something Hikaru could provide. Kyoya had cold concern snaking around his stomach. He wasn’t sure how Kaoru was going to respond.

Kaoru looked down to his lap. He was nervously picking at the threads of the blanket. “He didn’t get hurt for me, did he?”

“No,” Yuzuha jumped in, “He got hurt because he was trying to get out of the water, same as you.”

Kaoru's face shifted to puzzlement. “On the beach?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t remember getting into the water,” Kaoru rubbed the bandage over his injury. “Thinking about it makes my head hurt.”

“Then, don’t think about it.” His mother chided.

Kyoya bowed his head. Concussions were a type of injury that were sometimes not that big of a deal and other times life threatening. Kaoru was lucky he didn’t drown, and lucky that his head injury wasn’t as bad as it could have been. However, it could turn sour quickly. Kyoya worried about what would happen in the coming weeks. Kaoru wouldn’t be able to return to school with everyone else. When he did, it would have to be a gradual thing. Ouran would be very accommodating, Kyoya was sure, yet he wondered if it would be too much for Kaoru.

He bit his cheek again. What was he thinking? He wasn’t a doctor, nor was it his own head that was injured. He kept doubting Kaoru when he needed to have faith in him.

“Kyoya,” Kaoru called.

Kyoya sought his kohai’s eyes. They weren’t on Kyoya. Instead, they were looking down at his busy hands as he pulled and twisted the fabric.

“Get out of your head and come over here. Everyone else out.”

Kaoru’s father sputtered, but Yuzuha pushed him towards the door. She shared a look with Kyoya and whispered into his ear, “Keep good company for us, would you?”

Uchida followed the Hitachiins. Kyoya went to Kaoru and sat down on the bed. The younger twin was still messing with the blanket. Though, his hands were significantly more shaky as he did it.

“How do you feel?”

Kaoru launched himself onto Kyoya which took the Ootori by surprise. He could feel the twin shaking, whole body tremors against his own. Kyoya comforted him as best as he could. He must have been hiding how he felt. Kyoya realized it was why Kaoru’s face was unusually blank while his mother cried.

“Kyoya, I can’t remember. I can’t remember.” Kaoru pulled back, his face was pale and taught. “I remember laying on the beach then after that . . . I was on the beach again with everyone surrounding me. I couldn’t recognize anyone.”

His voice trembled with the rest of him. Kyoya took his hands and rubbed them as he did during Kaoru’s panic attack. “It’s alright. It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not.” Kaoru whined. “I know something’s wrong, but I keep forgetting. People tell me and I just don’t remember.”

“That’s okay, Kaoru. You don’t need to worry about keeping track of it all.” Kyoya pushed him back into the bed. “You need to calm down and rest. I’ll be here if you want me to be.”

“Lay with me.”

“How?”

“Fuck, I don’t know. Don’t sit there watching me.”

Kyoya didn’t move right away. He was surprised at Kaoru’s distressed request. It was nothing special, really. Kaoru wanted companionship, comfort above all. Kyoya was his friend at the most fundamental level. It was the least he could do as one. Still, their relationship was complicated and Kyoya didn’t want to bother threading through the messy connections that tied them together. 

He laid the bed back down with the bedside remote. Kaoru rolled onto his side once he could lay flat. Kyoya was about to lay down next to him on his back which was most comfortable for him. Though, he hesitated as a sudden flood of thoughts rushed through his head. This was awkward enough as it was, but for Kyoya to just lay there with Kaoru turned away was perhaps the most awkward part. It didn’t feel right to lay like that. His mind supplied the solution easily, but it was too intimate and felt too much like they were something more than they were supposed to be.

“Kyoya, stop thinking. You’re making _my_ head hurt.”

Kyoya frowned. 

He decided to do it. Kaoru was hurt, it was special circumstance, and they could afford to bend and break their rules at times like this. He eased down on his side behind Kaoru. He carefully wrapped his arms around Kaoru’s waist. The younger of the two didn’t move or show otherwise that he didn’t dislike it, so Kyoya fully relaxed onto the bed. He couldn’t help but take in the sensations of his knees pressed against the backs of Kaoru’s, the rise and fall of Kaoru’s shoulders, and the way Kaoru’s hands found his and held them. Kyoya was silently pleased at the position. He had never thought about doing something like this with anyone before. It was nice.

What wasn’t nice was the smell of the red hair that tickled his nose. It smelled like the saltwater and seaweed, and the bandage around his head smelled of antiseptic like the rest of the hospital. It was a strange combination Kyoya wasn’t particularly fond of, but a shower could fix. He shook his head, laughing to himself.

.

.

.

.

Kaoru didn’t know he wanted to be in this position with Kyoya until now. Well, it was hard to imagine him and Kyoya in a bed without it devolving into something else. Something Kaoru didn’t want to think about right then. Not when his head was pulsing with each of his heartbeats and his stomach felt upset. He was glad Kyoya was there with him, helping ease some of his pain.

Really Kaoru wanted to talk to his senpai, anything to take his mind off everything going on, but his eyelids wouldn’t stay up long enough to listen. In the quiet room, he began to sink back into himself. He was slipping so fast, he didn’t realize he had fallen asleep. 

Nurse Akagi was waking him up again. Kaoru sat up only to be met with an intense amount of dizziness and nausea. His head felt like it was swelling again and filling with pressure. She made a pitying sound and laid him back down. Kaoru noticed a slumped over Kyoya in the corner sitting on the sole piece of furniture besides the hospital bed. 

“We made an exception for visitors,” the nurse said when she noticed Kaoru staring, “we didn’t know he was an Ootori. The chairmen for the hospital are very grateful for the company.”

Kaoru’s brain was mush so he could only keep up so fast. Once he formulated his question, he asked, “is there anywhere he could sleep besides the chair?”

“Well, we don’t have any place besides patient rooms and usually we don’t have any visitor beds available unless the patient is close to death and a family member wants to be close to them.”

Kaoru must have made a strange face since the kind nurse laughed and patted his hand. “I’m sorry. There isn’t much I can do but remove him from the room. Though, he seemed very adamant in staying. After all, he was the one who ultimately swayed the decision.”

This piqued Kaoru’s interest. “What happened?”

The nurse stood up and began doing small menial tasks around the red head while speaking. “Visitor’s hours ended about forty five minutes ago and of course I came to inform your . . . ,” She paused for a moment , clearly uncertain of her words, “friend to leave. However I came in and saw he was speaking with Fujiwara-sama, one of our executives.”

Kaoru rubbed the small clear sticker that had been placed over his IV insertion, “So he stayed?”

Nurse Akagi hummed, “The poor boy fell asleep in the chair not long after.”

Kaoru turned his head away from Kyoya and looked up at the ceiling tiles above his bed. He vaguely remembered Kyoya being on the bed with him and it bothered him. Though, at least he remembered so much, which was much more than remembered of getting the concussion to begin with.

“He’s very committed.” The nurse smiled knowingly. 

Kaoru flushed. He hoped the dark room covered it. The nurse asked a few more questions about how he felt and he answered honestly about his headache and dizziness.

“Do you think you could eat something? It’s been a while since you last ate, from what your parents have told me.” She then asked.

Kaoru shook his head. “I’m not hungry.”

“Ok, but do know that we will be looking for you to eat breakfast tomorrow. You don’t have to eat if you don’t want to. Still it’s not a good thing losing your appetite.”

Kaoru sighed, “okay.”

“I’ll take my leave.” She said slipping back through the door.

The room was once again quiet and dark so Kaoru started to fall back asleep. Until he heard, “You should eat something.”

Kaoru jumped at the rough, rumbling voice coming from the foot of his bed. His head pulsed angrily at the way his body responded, the jerky movement and rush of adrenaline was certainly not conducive to healing.

The younger twin sat up enough to see over his lump of a body underneath the thin blanket. He could make out the outline of Kyoya still hunched over in a very uncomfortable sleeping position, but clearly awake. His eyes gleamed over his glasses as they had slipped down his nose, to which he characteristically pushed up with a middle finger. Kaoru took a moment to admire the Ootori’s features in the soft light filtering through the window.

“You should go home and get a proper night’s rest,” Kaoru countered. He resumed his position laying on his side with an irritated huff.

“Touche.” Kyoya came back to the twin and sat down. “I didn’t want to leave you.”

It wasn’t the right thing to say for Kaoru. For some reason, he began thinking about the beginning of the vacation. He began thinking about how Kyoya didn’t bother to talk to him at all or contact him in any way. It wasn’t until after Kaoru had gotten hurt that his senpai decided to show his face. Kaoru considered Kyoya brave for bothering to show up at all, knowing his anger was bound to make an appearance sooner or later.

“Why didn’t I hear from you until now?” Kaoru chose to simply ask outright instead of dancing around the problem.

Kyoya was taken aback by the biting tone. He kept his eyes on his hands, refusing to keep his eyes on Kaoru. Was it guilt that Kaoru saw? 

“Kaoru, it wasn’t my intention to ignore you. My father didn’t think I’d need or want to contact anyone while we were on vacation.” Kyoya rubbed his hands together. “We weren’t even in Okinawa until today, instead we went to Yonaguni for the first part of the trip. I wasn’t informed beforehand.”

Kaoru sighed, “I wasn’t angry . . . before I should say. I guess I’m angry now because of this.” He pointed to the bandage on his head.

“You can be angry. All I ask is don’t push me away completely.”

“Maybe, only if you catch me on a good day.”

Kyoya smirked, “Is this a good day?”

“No, but I’m willing to make an exception.”

Kaoru made room for Kyoya beside him again. The Ootori laid facing Kaoru so they could talk.

“Were you actually asleep or just pretending?” The twin asked.

“I got maybe thirty minutes, but yes, I did.”

“I’m gonna say it again: you should go home.”

“Why should I? This isn’t my first all-nighter and I’d like to think that spending it with you is way more enjoyable and worth it.”

Kaoru rolled his eyes, then regretted it immediately after as the room continued spinning even though his eyes stopped. “I don’t want you to suffer for my sake.”

“Maybe I like suffering for your sake,” Kyoya said deadpan.

Kaoru pinched Kyoya’s arm, “Stop that.”

Kyoya chuckled, his lips curving into a grin. The sight had Kaoru’s heart swooning. His inhibitions were lowered so he did what he would normally want to do. He kissed Kyoya.

The raven haired boy was taken aback. At first, he had a wild look in his eyes, but it was replaced with a hungry amusement. 

“What are you doing?”

Kaoru sighed annoyedly, “Kissing you.” He went in again, only to be stopped by Kyoya.

“Not right now,” he laughed, “Not while you’re hurt.”

“Why not? Maybe a kiss will make it better?” He went for it once more.

Instead, he got Kyoya’s throat as the latter reached up to kiss the bandage on the redhead. 

“There.”

Kaoru didn’t appreciate how pleased Kyoya looked with himself.

“That’s not what I meant,” he said lowly.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

Kaoru wanted to argue. Though, his head started to hurt again. Anytime he tried to think, it seemed to trigger a flare of pain. He was more than displeased about it, wishing he knew the extent of mindless he had to be in order to recover before he got hurt. Wait, how would he have known? He clutched his head when the swelling feeling came back full force.

“Do you need me to get a nurse?”

“No, I’m fine,” Kaoru grit.

Kyoya cupped the hand Kaoru placed on his head, “I know when you’re overthinking. This definitely is not the time to be doing that.”

Kaoru gave him a miserably scolding look at which the other teen laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, as you can see i have hit a writing block. mm yes block is made of block.
> 
> the story has derailed a bit so i guess you can consider this a filler 'episode' if it were an anime? well all my fellow drama kings, queens, and royalty hopefully have enjoyed this mess :P

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


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